so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

so my baby is turning one.

my kids don't self wean, at all.
i really wanted to go till 2 with her.
she only nurses 3 times a day and once at 4 am.

but since august my nipples have taken a beating.
some days good..others not.

chapped, cracked at times.
i change nursing pads all day long
aquafor, lanoish, anti fungal, hydrocortizone cream(sp on all of them!)

braless helps...but i have an over supply and leak all the time. they are staying wet. it is only underneath nipple..cracks at base of areola.

it isn't fun. not bleeding or anything...just surface cracks.
i really need to feel better...she has her appt next week where we find out if she is allergy free. i don't want her on soy.
if she is free...then i want to be done.

but, she is so sad and loves nursing so much. i skipped a feeding yesterday...tried to skip one an hour ago...she went into shock.

josh took it really bad when he was weaned. search saddest boy in the world pic.
he was depressed for days.

i have been on diflucan. dr said i just have to keep them dry.
i know i am so done....but she isn't.

just a rambled vent.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

You are an amazing mother for going as long as you have. Your post on Josh actually helped me when I was weaning Aidan at 15 months because I could no longer take it.

If you need to be done, then do it. I know she loves it but you need to be happy, too. She is turning one and that is a huge accomplishment. As much as it will be hard in the beginning, she WILL get over it and be happy, especially since you will be happy.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

First, I think you deserve a lot of for nursing your daughter through her first year. It is an incredible accomplishment. You've already done so much for her!

As moms, we all try to put our babies' needs before our own. That's admirable. But you have to think of yourself once in awhile too. If nursing at this point is causing you pain and stress, don't beat yourself up if you opt to wean her.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

thanks so much hollie.

with josh i worried that our relationship was going to suffer without it. it didn't.

with jessie...it is really the only "josh free" activity we have together.

crying since last night. i feel like a nut.

thanks for saying my story helped...sometimes i feel like a loon posting about this.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

thanks mrsm

i feel like this is it. i really can't take it anymore. i had to make it to one because there was no way i could pay for her hypoallergenic formula.

but she seems fine this month with yogurt cheese and me drinking milk.

ahhhh...i am so excited about being done. forever.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

Posted by Janice

thanks mrsm

i feel like this is it. i really can't take it anymore. i had to make it to one because there was no way i could pay for her hypoallergenic formula.

but she seems fine this month with yogurt cheese and me drinking milk.

ahhhh...i am so excited about being done. forever.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

You are not a nut! You are a wonderful mom, but I know the feeling, when you are done you are done. I am in the process of weaning my 14 month old. He is clearly not ready, but I am. I have been pregnant or nursing for the last 4 years and I need a break. I just need my body back for a while (we are considering a 3rd down the line). She will be okay. You will be okay. You will find other mommy/daughter activities.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

Posted by TheDivineMrsM

Posted by Janice

thanks mrsm

i feel like this is it. i really can't take it anymore. i had to make it to one because there was no way i could pay for her hypoallergenic formula.

but she seems fine this month with yogurt cheese and me drinking milk.

ahhhh...i am so excited about being done. forever.

I didn't realize babies that are weaned at a year need to supplement with formula?

Breastfed babies have very low chances of allergies... I'm sure your little girl will be fine!!

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

thanks nicki.

i have to remember she is getting older and we can do more with just the two of us soon.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

I am in the same boat!!

I need to be DONE. his breast dependency is KILLING me. I LOVE nursing him and how happy it makes him, but he goes nutso without it at night now. He grabs at me in the dark until he finds what he is looking for.

and I only nurse him at night. during the day I *try* not to if I am home.

I don't know what to do or how to do it. but I think if you are done you HAVE to do it now. I should have just weaned at year. it's amazing how much more he knows now at 15 months. it will just be emotionally more difficult on both of us now, b/c he KNOWS where it comes from, that *I* have it, and that *I* am not letting him have it.

good luck and mucho that she is allergy free. your boobies NEED A BREAK!!!

Message edited 2/16/2011 12:35:29 PM.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

Kudos to you for BF for a year!! I wish I was able to do that!!

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

Oh ugh im sad just reading this

You are such an amazing mom

You truly inspire me on here....always being selfless.

I know its going to be HARD but your poor nips need a break.

Hugs hugs hugs!

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

thanks everyone.

that's it...i wanted josh to self wean...he didn't and it was bad at 18 mos when i threw in the towel.
she is never going to be ready...with him i went cold turkey...
i am going to aim just for 7 pm with her unitl dr appt so i can get it back if i need to.

oh yeah...i am spending a total of 3 weeks with my parents in a 5 week period in march/april.
they want her and me gone.

this is going to be a beautiful break if i can swing it.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

Well after hearing your story on my thread over the weekend, your already my hero for making it so far. I'm only at 6 wks and with oversupply, thrush issues and possible allergy, I have a hard time imagining I'll be doing this for a year, but your post made me know it is possible!
You've given DD a great start to life by BFing for a year. HUGE! I don't know much about weaning, but your DD will adjust.
Also, have you asked your peds office about a letter of medical necessity for neocate (if you need it). My mom is a ped office manager and said it always ends up covered if she does this.
Maybe you can discuss this at your visit.

Re: so torn...my heart is breaking. bfing, weaning..tmi.

If you want to continue then try earth mamma nipple butter. I swear by this stuff. It is the only thing that works for me. You don't have to wipe it off and it is non staining so you won't have greasy nipple marks on all of your shirts. My ds self weaned at 14 months (I was pregnant) and dd is 17 months and still going strong. She nurses at least 6 times a day/night. I am hoping to self wean but her cut off is 2. I used the nipple butter when I first started nursing and when she is teething since it throws off her latch. It has cured every crack, bleed and blister.