So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

I'm 10 weeks along and since conception this pregnancy has been complicated. I'm on bedrest which is a joke for someone with an active 19 month old. So let's just say I've let the house work go for the time being bc I have to prioritize on what needs to be done and what is going to cause the least amount of pain. I'm in quite a bit of pain.

My DH has been very excellent for the most part. He was always an active parent but he is stepping up more, ie bathing DS, taking him for hours at a time so I can rest.

But I feel like he isn't doing all he could and I feel guilty for feeling that way in the first place. He is working full days starting at 5:30am. I know he deserves time when he gets home to unwind but i need him not to right now. By the time he gets home I'm on my last leg bc I can't always rest or take it easy with DS. DH wants to be able to go online and read about sports and his fantasy team but I need him to entertain DS. After DS goes to bed I'd rather go to bed and watch tv in there vs our living room. DH tends to stay in the living room. 3 nights in a row I went to bed crying in pain and I didn't even get a kiss goodnight let alone him coming in with me and trying to make me feel better.

Am I just being a brat? I feel like I have the weight of the world and I can't speak up. I'm sure he is feeling pressure too but he keeps it all bottled in.

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

I freak out when DH does that and I am not PG or on bedrest.

I hateeeeee that he comes home, changes his clothes, and then sits on the computer and checks his facebook. Drives me batty. I dont get to do that all day unless the stars align and both kids nap but even then I am jumping in the shower, cleaning up, starting dinner etc.

I explained to him that I envy that he gets to get ready and shower in peace, drive to work and listen to what he wants to listen to, LUNCH BREAKs at work.....

He gets it and tries to be better about helping for the hour or 2 till they go to bed. I would just tell him how you feel in a nice way. He probably doesnt even realize it.

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

Could you get a mother's helper or have family come over to help with DS? I was on bed rest with my son and thanked my lucky stars that he was my first. I have no idea how you are able to do it with a little one at home already.

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

You are not alone. There are def. times I feel like that about DH. I am a teacher and in the summers I usually take on more (pretty much all) of the household chores. Being preg. I still do bc I feel great. He really doesnt offer bc I do it when he is at work.

There is a part of me that feels like he should at least offer or make mention that I do it all. Sometimes I feel like bc my preg. has been easy, he takes that for granted and doesnt realize that it still takes me A LOT more effort to do the things I used to. I TRY not to get upset but sometimes i cant help it. I just try to chalk it up to hormones.

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

You are on bed rest for a reason, you NEED to take it easy. Maybe bring him to your next doctors appointment, so he can fully understand what bed rest is & means.

I get not wanting to nag b/c I'm a total nagger all the time & hate it. He'll come home after I've worked all day, picked up DS,played with him, cooked dinner (wiht him at my leg) and sit and check fantasy or call me to ask if he can go golfing. For the most part, I don't care but there are some days I CANNOT take it (Especially while pregnant) The other day, I was cleaning the kitchen (this is after I did numerous other htings) and he was sitting in the den, doing nothing & I walked over to him and was like (super nasty) "Get up. . .get up and do something around this house. GET UP" lol He didn't say a word and calmly got up to work on the basement You could try that approach

I just will never understand why men don't just DO, don't they understand their lives would be SO much easier if they just did things on their own

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

I agree with pps you are on bedrest for a reason and should NOT feel guilty about it. I totallly understand you feeling like you may be acting "bratty", you are not, you are just under a lot of stress. I have had a high risk, complicated multiple pregnancy and that ALONE can build up so much stress and anxiety you do not feel yourself, I was constantly on edge. I can't tell you how many times I told DH, This pregnancy is taking up ALL my energy, all my strength and all my patience, so there is nothing left for you or anyone / anything else right now, deal. I can't imagine having another LO on top of all of it You have a lot on your plate right now so don't be afraid to ask/expect help from family and friends. Somtimes men are a little slow and need to be told exactly what it is we need. "You need to be DS main care giver when you are home, which means at 6pm he needs dinner, and there is no computer or free time till after he is in bed, just for right now, ok?"

This will not last forever. Growing humans is hard work!!!!!!

Re: So upset with my husband but feel like I cant say thing (vent)

Posted by DPerotti

You are on bed rest for a reason, you NEED to take it easy. Maybe bring him to your next doctors appointment, so he can fully understand what bed rest is & means.

I get not wanting to nag b/c I'm a total nagger all the time & hate it. He'll come home after I've worked all day, picked up DS,played with him, cooked dinner (wiht him at my leg) and sit and check fantasy or call me to ask if he can go golfing. For the most part, I don't care but there are some days I CANNOT take it (Especially while pregnant) The other day, I was cleaning the kitchen (this is after I did numerous other htings) and he was sitting in the den, doing nothing & I walked over to him and was like (super nasty) "Get up. . .get up and do something around this house. GET UP" lol He didn't say a word and calmly got up to work on the basement You could try that approach

I just will never understand why men don't just DO, don't they understand their lives would be SO much easier if they just did things on their own