Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

So mommies, let's talk bedtime schedules and routines.....

Ava has a pretty consistent schedule/routine at this point in time for her bedtime. We're flexible, yet consistent, and she is always asleep by 8pm the latest, most nights more like 7:15pm. Anyway...my family is insisting that it's a bad thing for me to have her go to bed at the same time every night.
They claim I'm going to end up with a rigid child who cannot adjust

So, my question is this....how much do you stick to your schedule and what happens when you don't? For us, if Ava is not asleep by 8pm, she's MISERABLY cranky and wakes up early the next day. I don't really see this as a problem, I think that her missing her bedtime should be the exception to the rule, not the norm.


Also, is it terrible that I rock her to sleep? I only have to do it at her bedtime and she only takes 2-5 minutes tops to fall asleep. Should I start weaning her from that?

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

We are not on a schedule, but more of a routine every night. Sort of the same kind of thing as you-in bed by 7 or 8. I think it is good for them to have a routine. I don't think they will have a problem adjusting at all.

And on the rocking, my theory is-whatever works! LOL

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

hannah consistently goes to bed around 715-745 everynight. i dont think it is bad that she does that. she gets her last bottle around 645 or so and then we sit on the glider and sometimes i read to her or sometimes i sing to her. she usually falls asleep with the pacifer within 5-10 minutes of this routine. she spits out the pacy on her own and rarely ever cries for it.

she is actually turning out to be a good sleeper. she is sleeping thru the night and is taking at least 1 good nap a day and a few 30 minute cat naps the rest of the day. i attribute this to the consistent nighttime routine. hope that helps.

now eating is a different story LOL!

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

First question, how old is Ava? The only reason why I ask is that we rocked Brianna to sleep until about 3 weeks ago. She is 10 months and she wouldnt let us put her down once she fell asleep. As soon as we would try, she would wake up and scream. I explained this to our Ped that we had been rocking her to sleep no problem since 5 months and now all of a sudden its a problem. He said that from like 6-7 months on they start to wake up during the night like we all do but when they do they are so used to be rocked to sleep that they cant put themselves back to sleep without the rocking.
So we stopped and now rub her back until she is almost asleep and shes off to la la land but we dont take her out of the crib. It took us like 10 days for this to become a habit for her, but just to warn you it may happen.

As far as the routine I think its great to have one. I would stick to what your doing it sounds great!!

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

i think that kids need routine in their lives. i do not think that having a bedtime makes them rigid!!! it's important to make schedules. believe me when she starts school you will appreciate the scheduled bedtime!

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

Ava is five months old. I actually don't really rock her to sleep. It's more that she falls asleep before I can even get her to her crib. She takes her last bottle usually like 15 minutes before she goes to bed, so I'm basically just holding her up for a few minutes after she eats, then she falls asleep. Hmm, maybe I need to make her last bottle earlier? I try not to overthink the things I do with her and just let them happen as they will since she's such a good girl, but I'm just trying to keep from forming bad habits.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

Bella pretty much set her own bedtime between 7-8 pm at a little younger than what Ava is now, also usually going to be around 7:15-ish. We put her down awake and that's that.

She will be Ok if we are out until about 8, but we will usually bring a pack-n-play if we plan on staying later because she will sleep in that...

Bella after 8 pm is NOT a pretty sight. And there is nothing I can do about it...

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

Posted by JTK

i think that kids need routine in their lives. i do not think that having a bedtime makes them rigid!!! it's important to make schedules. believe me when she starts school you will appreciate the scheduled bedtime!

Message edited 11/13/2006 8:40:38 AM.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

When we're how Miranda pretty much goes down around 8-8:30 but she is totally flexible if we're out and she's occupied. I will say she's not flexible in sleeping somewhere other than home but I think that will come in time.

I see nothing wrong with rocking her to sleep, especially because she goes out so quickly. It's comforting to her and I'm sure gives her a great sense of security as she falls to sleep. There will come the day where she won't want to be rocked so I say cherish every moment.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

we alter olivias sleep based upon what time daddy is coming home if he is going to be home at 830 i keep her up so she can see him if not shes a sleep for 830. i rocked olivia until she was 8 months old and that was the only way she would go to sleep at night. so i had to do the cio method to break it and it worked.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

Noah usually has his bath at 6.30pm on the dot, if daddy is home late, I try to stick to that schedule, but a few times in the last few weeks we have been out past his bedtime...he was a stinky grumpychops, BUT we just did his bedtime later. I think if you are home and having a normal day, its really important for you to stick to a regular bedtime, but if you are out or doing something, don't rush to get her to bed! We gave Noah his bath the other day at around 8 and she went down to sleep just fine...slept all night etc.

I think the rocking is okay for now, but maybe in a month I would try to put her to sleep awake. If Noah falls asleep on the bottle (which is rare these days) I rouse him gently and make sure he goes down into the crib awake. This way he taught himself to soothe himself...I think six months is a good point for enforcing some good sleep habits!

I think consistent and flexible is the best way to be.

Message edited 11/13/2006 4:32:51 AM.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

This is an interesting thread. We have a routine with about an hour of variation. Ellie goes down somewhere b/w 7-8 each night. After dinner we give her her bath and then bedtime bottle. She usually falls asleep with the bottle. I've never thought about waking her to put her into the crib to fall back asleep seems alittle counterintuitive at first but you may have a point about teaching her how to fall asleep. I'm curious when you roused Noah, then how did he react? Did he then cry himself to sleep and if so for how long? How long did it take for him to learn to fall asleep? Does he go down on his own now? I'm always learning new things on here.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

First off....IGNORE everyone who tells you ANYTHING. It doesn't matter what they say or think. As MrsR told me.....do what works for you and Ava, THAT's IT!!!

Alyson had and still has a very consistent schedule that allows for flexibility.

We read Healthy sleep Habits, Healthy Child and it was amazing for us.

Alyson fell into a bedtime of 6:15pm, 7 the latest for a long time. I got so much cr@p for it...."You can't get anything done, can't go anywhere" which is fine because we don't go anywhere. She'd sleep till 7am. Why am I going to make her miserable just to keep her up???? What purpose does that serve?

Babies need their rest.
Babies thrive on a routine, whether rigid or not. They come to expect certain things. Now, Alyson knows when we go in her bathroom and turn the water on, it's bath time and she squeals with delight!

Now bedtime is around 7. With her waking at night, she's been sleeping later since she is so exhausted. Maybe she's changing her schedule, who knows. She still follows the 2 - 2 1/2 hour window of awake time before wanting her bottle for naptime. Sometimes its close to 3 hours she is up. But I know her cues. She adapts fine when things get turned upside down. She ate her lunch at Walmart yesterday while we shopped. She napped when we got home, it was a shorter nap, but whatever.

Don't listen to anyone. And rocking her to sleep is fine. As she gets older, you could incorporate reading while rocking or play some music that she will associate with bedtime. We still give Alyson her bottle right before bed . And I'm rocking her when she wakes at night.....my Dr. told me to let her CIO but I can't (I need that sleep and so does DH). For 30 seconds of rocking, she's back out.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

Andrew for the most part is down by 7pm everynight. And if his schedule is off he still wakes up the sametime.

The good thing is if we are over our families houses they all have a place for him to sleep there. When we get home he goes right back to sleep.

As for the rocking IMO I think it could be a pain but if you don't mind it then whatever works.

I never started rocking because I didn't want to do it for the next months. I just put him in his crib turn on his humidifier and that's it.

Also, Andrew can sleep anywhere when it is bedtime. So that helps.

Re: Some bedtime questions...mommies, please come in....

I think routine is KEY for babies... ever since Alex was about 4 months old, she started a routine for herself - bedtime by 7pm. Sometimes we can stretch it to 8pm, but after 8pm, all hell breaks loose, so I go with her cues. Some nights she switches it up a little- like last night she was EXHAUSTED and went to bed at 6:30pm, but generally, she's asleep by 7pm. I've also found that if we try to keep her up, she won't sleep as well and will end up waking up in the morning even earlier.

As for the rocking, do what works for you. I've been rocking Alex to sleep since she was born. It was taking a few hours to get her to sleep in the early days, so I implemented CIO, but once she adapted, I started rocking her to sleep again. Enjoy it while it lasts, because recently, in the last 2 months, my little girl has decided she wants nothing to do with rocking. The only way she'll go to sleep is if I put her in her crib when she's awake, rub her back for a moment and then's she's off... I miss those days of cuddling