Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

A few questions-

1. What is the time limit in the middle of the night if DC cries before you really should go in? DD woke up at 2:30 tonight. I turned down the monitor to resist the urge to go in. She luckily fell back to sleep 30 minutes later after some screaming. But there are other times she makes it to an hour. My heart naturally says to run in at the first whimper, but my head says that she is exhausted, it is the middle of the night (she also awakens at 3, 4 sometimes) and she just needs to cry until she falls asleep. However, I read that she should max out at an hour. Can I let her cry longer or should I go in at an hour as a rule of thumb? Or is an hour the nap rule of thumb if that makes sense?

2. Should I invest in a white noise machine? As many of you know, I am at my parents for awhile. They have two yappy small dogs that insist on barking at night . Is it worth it or should I leave well enough alone? They appear to exacerbate the problem when she wakes at 4 am.

3. How do I know whether I should go in? I can't help but wonder if she has a poopie diaper (like yesterday I gave her prunes so I know she had a few poop explosions) or if something is bothering her, like teething? A big part of this is horrible guilt I have because of her milk allergy and reflux that went undiagnosed until she was 2 months old. (I knew in my heart there was a problem but I didn't do anything right away because DH kept telling me it was a witching hour, colic, etc).

Why can't this be easier? :sigh:

Sorry so long! TIA!

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

LOVE that we're both up..... gotta love babies....

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

I always went in initially to see if there was a poop. If no poop, I kiissed her "night-night: and put her back down. No rocking, singing, etc. Just, "It's time for "night-night" Madelyn. Gradually over time if there were no poops in a few nights, I stopped going in period.

As awful as it was, I learned that Madelyn could NOT have me go in (gradual extinction). I had to go full exctinction. She cried off and on for 2.5 hours that first night before she finally fell asleep. The second night she cried for almost an hour, and so on. By night 4 there was no more crying.

I think because Sienna is younger than Mads was, you won't have iot go that long. Mads was 10 months when I finally did full-on CIO. I started at about 6 months with DD #2 and it took one night of off and on crying for about an hour and she was done.

I wouldn't max it at an hour because she'll very quickly learn that after an hour, you'll come in. Rather than see the crying as a bad thing, realize that what you are doing is teaching her to sleep well. I KNOW how awful it is- believe me, I cried right along with her that first night. But NOTHING else worked for us. I tried Ferber, No-Cry, etc. NOTHING worked for us. After 4 nights of using the HSHHC way, we finally got a full night's sleep out of her.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Thanks Amy! Gotta love being up at 3 am, right?

Thanks for the advice on both threads.

I wasn't sure initially if the hour limit applied to night or naps or both. Now it makes sense.

Sienna is like Madelyn-she needs full extinction, which got us about 10-12 hour a night. I put her down an hour later last night (7), still woke at 5:30/6ish (playing in the crib and singing to herself). Ferber made it worse so I know realistically I can't go in there. Same with No Cry as she will not sleep.

How many hours were your DDs able to stay awake before the nap BTW?

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

I don't know whats going lately DS has been waking at night, screaming too. I gave tylenol, another night gave motrin, it had no effect. He still wakes up at random times in the middle of the night. My gut is telling its not teething, its something else.

He woke up on and off and screamed on and off for 5 hours. DH and I agreed we wouldn't go in until 7am. Its 7am and he's sound asleep.

Usually one of us cheats. This time was me.

I went in at 6am gave him a few sips of water (I figured he needed after all that yelling), I walked out and he went back to sleep.

I hope what I'm dong is right, I don't know he wasn't really crying more like yelling, so it made it a little easier on me.

eta: he woke up 5 minutes after I posted. I don't know I hope tonight is better. he seems perfectly fine after I picked him up, kind of clenched to me for a few seconds but then went on to what he usually does.

Message edited 9/22/2010 8:08:04 AM.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Michelle, I agree that if she cries for an hour and then you go in, she'll just learn that if she wants you, she'll just have to cry for at least an hour, KWIM? I think the rule is 1 hour for a nap, not sure why, lol, but I've heard you put them down for a nap and if they're still up and/or crying an hour later, you go get them.

I would definitely recommend a white noise machine, especially if there are 2 yapping dogs that make it worse when she's up. It will help block out outside noise and reminds them of the noise they lived with for 9 months in the womb, so it's supposed to help them relax, soothe, etc. For us, the noise machine also helps when we walk around the room (his crib is in our room) so that he doesn't hear us walking, opening a drawer, or whatever. Our dog also sleeps in the room and makes noise when she gets off the bed, so the machine helps mask that.

I had the same worry/question about "what if something is WRONG" and that's why he's crying, should I go check him, etc... but honestly, it just makes him more upset to see me and for me to NOT pick him up, that when I did CIO, I just checked him on my monitor and didn't go over to him. But he doesn't usually poop overnight, so that made it easier in that sense. Still suckkkkkkkkks to CIO, but it really is teaching them something SO valuable they need for the rest of their lives, so focus on that!

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Thanks for posting, I need help too. Night 2 was a DISASTER!

Do I start right back again tonight? Do I wait a few nights then start again?

Ryan was so much easier......and he was older. I was a mess last night, not to mention DH went to sleep and my dad got taken to the hospital (he is ok, thank God, horrible UTI suddenly)

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Yesi-thanks! Seriously Henry better get his A game on with Sienna because those two are made for each other! I am going to BBB tomorrow and I think I will pick up the sleep sheep unless someone has a better recommendation.

Christine-I would keep going tonight with CIO. Worst thing Jeff and I did with Sienna was deciding to give her a break after a bad night. It actually made it worse because she figured out that she could persist with major dramatics and make herself more hysterical because daddy or mommy would scoop her up and then put her in bed with us for the next week. I finally persisted with her Sept 12th, which was a nightmare and by day 3, she was sleeping 11-12 hours without waking! She has bad nights, last night being one, but I stopped going in at some BTDT advice.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Yesi-thanks! Seriously Henry better get his A game on with Sienna because those two are made for each other! I am going to BBB tomorrow and I think I will pick up the sleep sheep unless someone has a better recommendation.

Christine-I would keep going tonight with CIO. Worst thing Jeff and I did with Sienna was deciding to give her a break after a bad night. It actually made it worse because she figured out that she could persist with major dramatics and make herself more hysterical because daddy or mommy would scoop her up and then put her in bed with us for the next week. I finally persisted with her Sept 12th, which was a nightmare and by day 3, she was sleeping 11-12 hours without waking! She has bad nights, last night being one, but I stopped going in at some BTDT advice.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Posted by mommyIam

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Yesi-thanks! Seriously Henry better get his A game on with Sienna because those two are made for each other! I am going to BBB tomorrow and I think I will pick up the sleep sheep unless someone has a better recommendation.

Christine-I would keep going tonight with CIO. Worst thing Jeff and I did with Sienna was deciding to give her a break after a bad night. It actually made it worse because she figured out that she could persist with major dramatics and make herself more hysterical because daddy or mommy would scoop her up and then put her in bed with us for the next week. I finally persisted with her Sept 12th, which was a nightmare and by day 3, she was sleeping 11-12 hours without waking! She has bad nights, last night being one, but I stopped going in at some BTDT advice.

don't get sleep sheep, it only plays for 45 minutes, and its not very loud

Get a real sound machine, or do what I do and just reserve a laptop/comptuer to play a sound. I download a free looping waterfall sound, and it used to work like a charm, I ran it all night. I have wireless speakers in his room, but I guess you can just put the laptop in there.

or if you have mp3 player, hook it up to speakers.

freesound.org, download anything

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

I have the Homedics sound machine that EricaAlt recommended - it's $16 at Bed Bath and Beyond with a coupon and it's great! You can put it on timer or have it run continuously. It also has projection.

It's small and easily transportable too.

Thanks for posting this - we do CIO for initial bedtime but, I'm not sure what to do in the middle of the night (I posted and nobody answered me).

DS has been waking up the past couple of nights at 2am wide awake for over an hour!

In the beginning, I didn't give in as easily but, when DH is home, he hears him cry and runs right in - sometimes before I even get a chance to say anything.

Message edited 9/22/2010 3:43:03 PM.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Posted by mommyIam

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Yesi-thanks! Seriously Henry better get his A game on with Sienna because those two are made for each other! I am going to BBB tomorrow and I think I will pick up the sleep sheep unless someone has a better recommendation.

Christine-I would keep going tonight with CIO. Worst thing Jeff and I did with Sienna was deciding to give her a break after a bad night. It actually made it worse because she figured out that she could persist with major dramatics and make herself more hysterical because daddy or mommy would scoop her up and then put her in bed with us for the next week. I finally persisted with her Sept 12th, which was a nightmare and by day 3, she was sleeping 11-12 hours without waking! She has bad nights, last night being one, but I stopped going in at some BTDT advice.

don't get sleep sheep, it only plays for 45 minutes, and its not very loud

Get a real sound machine, or do what I do and just reserve a laptop/comptuer to play a sound. I download a free looping waterfall sound, and it used to work like a charm, I ran it all night. I have wireless speakers in his room, but I guess you can just put the laptop in there.

or if you have mp3 player, hook it up to speakers.

freesound.org, download anything

Oh, good idea!

I imagine I can leave my Droid in there overnight on the charger as I have a great white noise app I use for trips with her.

I don't have my Ipod and I use my lap top at night.

Should I just get any sound machine or is there a really good one anyone can recommend?

Message edited 9/22/2010 4:02:37 PM.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post

Posted by munchkinfacemama

Yesi-thanks! Seriously Henry better get his A game on with Sienna because those two are made for each other! I am going to BBB tomorrow and I think I will pick up the sleep sheep unless someone has a better recommendation.

Christine-I would keep going tonight with CIO. Worst thing Jeff and I did with Sienna was deciding to give her a break after a bad night. It actually made it worse because she figured out that she could persist with major dramatics and make herself more hysterical because daddy or mommy would scoop her up and then put her in bed with us for the next week. I finally persisted with her Sept 12th, which was a nightmare and by day 3, she was sleeping 11-12 hours without waking! She has bad nights, last night being one, but I stopped going in at some BTDT advice.

Re: Some CIO questions-spinoff on my own post