I was one of those people who had no MS, I was a little tired, but I guess I had no idea what I was in for.

Since I've turned 28 weeks 2 weeks ago, I feel like my body is deteriorating. If severe heartburn wasn't enough to frustrate me, the last few days I just feel achy and overall just blah. I have no energy, getting up for work has been so hard. I just feel like putting the covers over my face and staying there until the baby comes out. Last night I was so nauscious (sp?) that all I had for dinner was Progresso chicken soup. My appetite has gone downhill, but part of me was a little afraid to eat things for fear of painful HB.

Now I'm starting to feel very emotional too. I'm very overwhlelmed about what life will be like trying to work f/t and having a baby. We haven't even focused yet on who exactly will be watching this baby and if I will be going back f/t or p/t, but we can't determine the latter until later on b/c of stuff going on at my job. On top of that I'm a little frustrated with family. Everyone wants us to go to them, this has been a theme for years. My IL's are obsessed with nothing other than the baby's possible sex. I really wanted my mom to be here as often as she could when the baby's born b/c first - It's my first baby and I feel so incompetent, and second - to help me fend off my ILs and in case visiting children get too much. I just would like people I care about to be around, but my parent's are dealing with their own health and their dog has cancer. My mom refuses to stop smoking which is so irritating at this point. My sister's been great, but she lives pretty far from us. I just feel like this is going to be too much for me to take on. I know everyone's excited about the baby - but why is their excitement making me so sad? It's getting very annoying to me that everyone tries to guess if it's a boy or girl. I don't know what I want it to be. Sometimes I want a girl, but then I think that DH should have a son, then I want a boy, but then I have other issues with that and want a daughter. I almost just called the OB to just ask and get it over with and shut everyone up... but then I realized, that's not the attitude that I want to have regarding my baby and that regardless of grandparent's, half sibs and everything else, this is ultimately about DH and I. I just wish I was happier. I'm almost worried that I should be talking to a professional... do I have post partum depression already?

DH has been great and is so excited. I just feel like an emotional and physical disaster. My body hurts to move, my heart races and I'm having dreams about leaving/misplacing the baby (one was I left my cat somewhere - I've had her for 8 years and never "lost" her). I'm having fantasies of a miserable teen ager - dark (like dressed in all black, black nailpolish and black eye liner - boy or girl mind you), in their room, locks the door and tells me they hate me and wishes they were never born. I went to the doctor the other day, they put me on the monitor and everything was fine. Doc feels that I may be coming down with something.

Is this stuff normal, or am I losing it? Sorry such a long post, I just feel really lousy.