Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I was watching some show on Purity Balls on TLC and...it was...interesting to say the least.

Creepy in a way, but I understand the point of the "purity movement" although the level of involvment was a bit intense. It seemed cultish the way one family was so dedicated to their religion and the purity movement. It seemed like they were brainwashed in a way.

Discuss.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Is this the thing where the daughter like 'marries' the father, promising to stay pure until her wedding? I think Jessica Simpson did that with her Dad?

Freaks me the hell out.

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I turned it off after seeing the father say "how cool would it be to say I kissed but 1 man in my life".
Too creepy for me.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I watched the same show last night.

what I said to dh is this...I like the idea of it up to a point.

as a girl that didn't know her biological father and had a...what some might call..abusive upbringing with her stepfather, I can understand and appreciate SOME aspects of what they would like to instill in their daughters.

I think the idea of being treated like a princess and expected to be LOVED and RESPECTED by the person they ultimately give themselves to is a wonderful lesson that ALL young girls and women should learn...

I do take issue however, with the idea of signing a covenant...of basically signing your love life and your vagina over to your father for his safe keeping.

there are so many life lessons that are learned when we go through heartaches, broken hearts etc that I think are important to developing our strength and growth. being protected from these things can lead to REAL devastation if God forbid Daddy doesn't find the right guy.

I liken it to our immune system...you need to have some contact with germs so you can learn how to fight them.

same with men

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Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Posted by Ophelia

I watched the same show last night.

what I said to dh is this...I like the idea of it up to a point.

as a girl that didn't know her biological father and had a...what some might call..abusive upbringing with her stepfather, I can understand and appreciate SOME aspects of what they would like to instill in their daughters.

I think the idea of being treated like a princess and expected to be LOVED and RESPECTED by the person they ultimately give themselves to is a wonderful lesson that ALL young girls and women should learn...

I do take issue however, with the idea of signing a covenant...of basically signing your love life and your vagina over to your father for his safe keeping.

there are so many life lessons that are learned when we go through heartaches, broken hearts etc that I think are important to developing our strength and growth. being protected from these things can lead to REAL devastation if God forbid Daddy doesn't find the right guy.

I liken it to our immune system...you need to have some contact with germs so you can learn how to fight them.

same with men

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I'd rather see the Dads connect with their SONS about proper dating and sexual conduct...
Hmm... giving a whole new meaning to "Purity Balls" right??

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Posted by colette

I'd rather see the Dads connect with their SONS about proper dating and sexual conduct...
Hmm... giving a whole new meaning to "Purity Balls" right??

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Posted by Ophelia

I liken it to our immune system...you need to have some contact with germs so you can learn how to fight them.

same with men

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Posted by JessInCA

Posted by Ophelia

I liken it to our immune system...you need to have some contact with germs so you can learn how to fight them.

same with men

Awesome quote!

I agree. It's one thing to instill a sense of self respect in your child and guide her to making good decisions, I'm all for that... but some of these people are a little extreme.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I saw this when it forst aireda week or two ago. I was intrigued by the concept, because The Duggars ( 17 kids & Counting) follw the same practice of not kissing before marraige, but without whole ball thing, as far as I know.

What disturbed me the most was that these parents didn't grow up that way. Most of them dated before they were married,one fo the fahters, ahd numerous children with various women.

They say they want a better way of life for their children, but they really just seem hypocritical to me.

They say it is the child's decision, but they pretty much teach them that this is the "best" way, at such a young age & take them to hese balls to watch the older girls so, of course they are going to want to do the same thing.

It also seemd to be more impressed upon the girls, than the boys.

They featured one girl who recently married, and while she & her DH supposedly agreed they didn't want to kiss before marriage, he had dated & kissed before.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

i did not watch.

as stated above... i DO agree with teaching our daughters that we (as women) should expect to be treated with love and respect by those we give our hearts to.

the whole idea of having a ball, signing a contract, and so forth... bothers me a bit. not sure where the line is drawn for me, but it is.

as the mother of a 13year old boy. i'm hoping to show him how to treat a woman with respect, how to be a good man, and how to show people that he deserves respect also.

should he make a mistake, i will never stop loving him... even if i have to smack him upside the head.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I have never heard of them but that is just too weird for me.

Plus, I am of the personal belief that I do not necessarily want my child to be a virgin until their wedding - not promiscuous either - but I think that nowadays women are pursuing careers and getting married later in life so it becomes unrealistic to wait that long. Plus I hate the double standard of women having to be chaste and men doing what they want!

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What the heck is a purity ball? I'm afraid to google it at work...

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WAY too out there for me....I did ok, I'll raise my children the best I can but part of growing up is discovery, etc..I really disagree with this but to each their own...

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I'm sure if I post what I really think the way I want to say it I will get flamed so I will say I agree that girls should wait to get romantically entangled until they are mature enough to handle it, but, I think this is brainwashing at its finest.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I don't think they work - they oppress and repress, which, more often than not, backfires. Not to mention, this perspective seems to treat these girls like little dolls, rather than human beings who can make their own choices. And I'm sorry, but those Dads were CREEPY.

I grew up in a very open environment - I was never given "rules" about my own sexuality, but instead taught to respect myself and have confidence in myself. When my mother had the "talk" with me, all she told me was, do whatever you are comfortable doing, as long as that's what YOU want, don't let anyone pressure you into anything. She gave me a few books to read, and a box of condoms (gasp!), and you know what? Of all my friends, I was the last to give it up, to my longterm boyfriend of 5 years.

I personally think an environment of openness, honesty, communication and a realistic perspective, will get you much, much further with your children.

Message edited 11/13/2008 2:15:44 PM.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I didn't see the TLC show, but i've read about these Balls before..
personally, i find it really sick and twisted. These fathers are forcing some outdated sense of purity and virginity on their poor daughters instead of educating them and letting them make informed choices.
I would make a bet that these same men are the ones who would have a saintly wife at home and go visit hookers to play out their sexual fantasies because they're too wrapped up in their uptight religious beliefs to have a healthy loving sexual relationship with their own wives.

I see nothing wrong with wanting the best for your daughter, and wanting to find the right kind of man for her - but don't muzzle her. At least give her the right tools and information to let her live her life and make her own mistakes.

Sorry, but this really really makes me ill.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I had no idea what this was either ... here is the wiki definition:

Message edited 11/13/2008 4:55:45 PM.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

I don't know. I guess I am in the minority in saying it doesn't bother me. It's not something *I* would do - and it isn't something that I would want for my daughter. But I don't think it's any more bad or weird or creepy than half a dozen other religious rites that I can think of.

Re: Soooo....what do we think of purity balls?

You know, reading those definitions, I also have an issue with the term "purity." Because the opposite of being pure is being what? Tainted? Dirty? Somehow "less than", or something to be ashamed of if you eventually break your committment and choose not to hold out until marriage? And then suddenly after the marriage ceremony, all that "impure" stuff you weren't allowed to do yesterday is supposed to magically be ok with you...

Now I'm sure we can all agree there are certain behaviors that do cross the line for us personally, but I don't think that sexuality in and of itself - or kissing, especially! - should be associated with negativity like that, if one wants the girls to grow up to have healthy intimate lives with their husbands in the future.