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whatshouldido
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/07 5 total posts
Name:
Mercy
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Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I dont even know what to say. I've been bottling this up for days now and just tonight told DH whats been happening at work. My boss is just way too touchy feely for my liking. I wrote it off for a few days, but then when he "accidentally" grabbed my a$$, my heart sank. I have never dealt with anything like this before in my life. I feel so bad. I feel ashamed and like I am letting my family down by thinking of quitting but I just dont know what else I can do.
There is no Human Resources, this is a small privately owned company where there are obviously no regualtions about appropriate behavior. I'm going to delete this tomorrow because I have no idea who lurks.
Has anyone ever gone through anything like this before?
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Posted 8/24/07 11:54 PM  |
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mrsmeyer06
LIF Infant
Member since 8/06 194 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I would look for another job if you feel that uncomfortable since it is your boss. There is nobody over him that you could speak to? Good luck..
Message edited 8/25/2007 12:00:04 AM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 11:58 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I'm so sorry you are having this happen to you. I would just tell the guy straight up when he gets too close again that he probably woundn't like it when you report this to the Labor board or what ever agency handles greviences and his business and rep. will be destroyed. 
Be prepared to follow through when you do it.
Message edited 8/25/2007 12:00:51 AM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 11:59 PM |
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whatshouldido
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/07 5 total posts
Name:
Mercy
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by Phyl
I'm so sorry you are having this happen to you. I would just tell the guy straight up when he gets too close again that he probably woundn't like it when you report this to the Labor board or what ever agency handles greviences and his business and rep. will be destroyed.
Be prepared to follow through when you do it.
Thank you for the suggestion. I am not assertive enough to say something like that. I think thats why he is preying upon me. He knows that I am timid. Is there a website that I can go on to see if he's been reported before about harassment?
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:02 AM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by whatshouldido
Posted by Phyl
I'm so sorry you are having this happen to you. I would just tell the guy straight up when he gets too close again that he probably woundn't like it when you report this to the Labor board or what ever agency handles greviences and his business and rep. will be destroyed.
Be prepared to follow through when you do it.
Thank you for the suggestion. I am not assertive enough to say something like that. I think thats why he is preying upon me. He knows that I am timid. Is there a website that I can go on to see if he's been reported before about harassment?
You can always call the Labor Board and ask how you go about reporting this. Look up your states website and see if there is a number on it. Search sexual harrassment in the workplace for your state and you should find the website that can point you in the right direction. Nobody deserves to be treated like this POS is trreating you.I know in Cali sexual harrassment is a very serious offense and this guy needs to get reported no matter who he is
Message edited 8/25/2007 12:18:44 AM.
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:09 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I haven't been in your situation, but I think you should file with the EEOC. Even if you plan on quitting, he probably has done this before & will continue to do it until someone calls him out - someone OFFICIALLY calls him out.
I would also file the claim because if you do decide to quit because of this, you want your rights preserved & you want to be able to file for unemployment.
Most importantly, write down everything he's done to date. Be as detailed as possible - words he said, time of day, etc.
The EEOC should be able to help you navigate through this awful mess with this azzhole.
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:10 AM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by nrthshgrl
I haven't been in your situation, but I think you should file with the EEOC. Even if you plan on quitting, he probably has done this before & will continue to do it until someone calls him out - someone OFFICIALLY calls him out.
I would also file the claim because if you do decide to quit because of this, you want your rights preserved & you want to be able to file for unemployment.
Most importantly, write down everything he's done to date. Be as detailed as possible - words he said, time of day, etc.
The EEOC should be able to help you navigate through this awful mess with this azzhole.
ITA! Document everything!
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:15 AM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:22 AM |
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dbleplay17
My 2 boys!
Member since 10/06 4578 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I would say something like "excuse me" the next time he touches you. At least he knows you are offended. if u say nothing maybe he thinks u like it
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:34 AM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
You have Fm.
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| Posted 8/25/07 12:49 AM |
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I'm so sorry this is happening. I agree about calling the Labor Board and from here on in, you must document EVERYTHING that goes on there. That's a very uncomfortable situation and I think even an outspoken person would be so taken aback that they would clam up, don't beat yourself up for any of this.
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| Posted 8/25/07 4:15 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by nrthshgrl
I haven't been in your situation, but I think you should file with the EEOC. Even if you plan on quitting, he probably has done this before & will continue to do it until someone calls him out - someone OFFICIALLY calls him out.
I would also file the claim because if you do decide to quit because of this, you want your rights preserved & you want to be able to file for unemployment.
Most importantly, write down everything he's done to date. Be as detailed as possible - words he said, time of day, etc.
The EEOC should be able to help you navigate through this awful mess with this azzhole.
I COMPLETELY agree - good advice Barbara. There are anti-harassment statutes in place because this kind of thing happens more than you think. I've handled quite a few sexual harassment claims at my prior office, and it just dsgusts me how these guys prey on women who don't know how to protect themselves, or blame themselves.
Just to make it clear - you have done NOTHING wrong. This is likely NOT the first time he has done this, and if you leave, by no means will it be the last.
You have rights. If he's as scummy to do this to you, I can guarantee, and I've seen it a million times before, that it will get worse, and he will do whatever it takes to sabotage you and your career. PROTECT yourself. Even if you don't have the cajones to confront him directly, make a call to the EEOC tomorrow.
You should also think about contacting an attorney. If you feel too timid to confront this guy directly, you can hire an attorney to do it for you, and in the meantime, make sure that you are adequately protected. Contact your local or state bar association and ask to be put in touch with an attorney who specializes in discrimination suits.
Good luck 
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| Posted 8/25/07 8:07 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
If I told my DH this he would be up there in a heartbeat.
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| Posted 8/25/07 8:20 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I am so sorry you are going through this.
Definitley document and report.
After it's reported, me, personally would quit.
Honestly, (again, me personally) probably would have walked out right then and there.
Again, I am so sorry.
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| Posted 8/25/07 9:48 AM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
set up a nannycam and catch the lowlife in action, then sue the pants off him and never have to work again. Ahhhh justice
eta: I'm really sorry you even have to deal with this. many 's to you
Message edited 8/25/2007 9:49:23 AM.
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| Posted 8/25/07 9:48 AM |
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HarleyGirlFLA
Come on in
Member since 5/05 9674 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Sexual harressement is illegal. Definately log everything. It is important because when you report him a full investigation will be launched and they will want to know everything. The more prepared you are the better for your case.
This is not your fault and don't feel bad or embarrassed. This is his fault and he will be repramanded for his actions. Just log everything.
Best of luck
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| Posted 8/25/07 10:20 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by Stacey1403
If I told my DH this he would be up there in a heartbeat.
she is asking for advice in re: to the situation, not "how would your DH react?" 
whatshouldido – FM and
Message edited 8/25/2007 10:44:49 AM.
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| Posted 8/25/07 10:44 AM |
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alnem
This is gonna be a good year!
Member since 2/06 9562 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by Stacey1403
If I told my DH this he would be up there in a heartbeat.
ditto and he'd take care of it the wrong way!
you should document everything that he does to you and file a complaint with the dept of labor. in the meantime, start looking for another job. sexual harassment laws are very strict, big company or small. good luck and i'm so sorry that this is happening to you!
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| Posted 8/25/07 10:58 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by Stacey1403
If I told my DH this he would be up there in a heartbeat.
same here... and with a baseball bat! 
I am so sorry! I would call a lawyer and report him to the agencies others posted above.
eta: I just read this to my DH and he said that the "accidental" groping is just the beginning and will only get worse. even if you say something to him, there will always be "weirdness". he said you should get out of there ASAP!!!!!!!
Message edited 8/25/2007 11:07:17 AM.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:04 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
i can't offer you more for your "to do" list when dealing with scum like this. what the other ladies have said is right on the money... document everything and report him.
i mostly wanted to get on to tell you this:
i've been through something similar when i was a teenager. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! you did nothing wrong. there is nothing to be ashamed of.
HE IS THE SCUM. he is the ONLY one in this equation who is doing anything wrong.
i'm sorry that you're going through this. i know how you feel, and it sux. if you want to talk about any of this, you're welcomed to fm me.
lots of  your way
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:39 AM |
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whatshouldido
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/07 5 total posts
Name:
Mercy
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Thank you so much for the support. I actually just woke up because I was up really late last night, and logged on and I see that my thread had lots of responses. You girls really are the best, and it does feel good to know that there are options for me to take. I just need to take the weekend to think about how to proceed. This situation was totally unexpected and never in a million years did I think I'd have to deal with this at my place of work. I know its not my fault, I know I did nothing wrong. I know it will happen again and has happened before to other women. He has a real problem and is a very sick individual.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:47 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by whatshouldido
Thank you so much for the support. I actually just woke up because I was up really late last night, and logged on and I see that my thread had lots of responses. You girls really are the best, and it does feel good to know that there are options for me to take. I just need to take the weekend to think about how to proceed. This situation was totally unexpected and never in a million years did I think I'd have to deal with this at my place of work. I know its not my fault, I know I did nothing wrong. I know it will happen again and has happened before to other women. He has a real problem and is a very sick individual.
good luck in whatever you decide to do!
but please, get out of there ASAP!
the only possible way I would stay there is if he was not the owner of the company and could be fired. if that is the case, report him to the owner on Monday.
Message edited 8/25/2007 11:49:07 AM.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:48 AM |
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whatshouldido
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/07 5 total posts
Name:
Mercy
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
good luck in whatever you decide to do!
but please, get out of there ASAP!
the only possible way I would stay there is if he was not the owner of the company and could be fired. if that is the case, report him to the owner on Monday.
I will get out of there, I promise.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:50 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
Posted by whatshouldido
good luck in whatever you decide to do!
but please, get out of there ASAP!
the only possible way I would stay there is if he was not the owner of the company and could be fired. if that is the case, report him to the owner on Monday.
I will get out of there, I promise.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:50 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sorry for the fake name-I am being sexually harassed at work and dont know what to do
I'm sure my DH would want to beat the cr@p out of him too. What I wouldn't want is to have the azzhole have the satisfaction of ever doing it again or being able to turn down my claim for unemployment.
Document first. Beat the crap out of him later.
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| Posted 8/25/07 11:51 AM |
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