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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
I love that my ils want to watch my girls whenever we need them.....BUT it's a huge aggravation every time! Either my FIL is in a big rush to leave after only a couple of hours, They feed her things like chocolate at 10am after just having breakfast, or they turn the tv on within minutes of us leaving and we have to her from my 3 yo that "grandpa didn't play with me".
well, today I come in and I find out my 3yo was using a pen to draw (even after my MIL was told no pens after she gave her one and got it on our couch)....well she sure enough got pen on my table cloth. I ask my dd about it and she wanted to lie, but then told me the truth and said "grandma said it was our secret"
Am I wrong is not liking this?
I can get over the tv thing and some other things, but it's getting to the point that they dismiss A LOT of what we tell them and it's agrivating and worrisome!
Luckily my dh agrees with me....but how much talking to them can he do, cause even when he does they do their own thing anyway! Oh and in October they are supposed to watch them for 6 days!
WWYD, cause I am at the point where I say no more and time to hire a babysitter if we have to!
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Posted 6/16/11 1:25 PM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
I may be the wrong person to answer this but having someone tell my child to keep a secret from me makes me LIVID. Having a child that does that is a child molestor's dream. (Yes, I recognize I'm being overly insane about the topic).
I would (and have) told relatives that it is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE & the reasons why. In hearing my concerns, it never happened again (unless my kids are better at keeping secrets ).
I know as my kids got older, I was able to let a lot of things that infuriated me go - like eating cookies at 6am, McDonald's every day, etc. I do know exactly where you are coming from.
Since them listening to you isn't an option, it sounds to me like you have two choices
(1) Pay a babysitter. I do think hiring a babysitter has its advantages but paying $10/hour gets old when you tack on $20-60 dollars every time you go out.
(2) If you have your ILs watch the kids, you have to downgrade your expectations to "they returned them alive & limbs in tact).
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| Posted 6/16/11 1:44 PM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Posted by nrthshgrl
I may be the wrong person to answer this but having someone tell my child to keep a secret from me makes me LIVID. Having a child that does that is a child molestor's dream. (Yes, I recognize I'm being overly insane about the topic).
I would (and have) told relatives that it is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE & the reasons why. In hearing my concerns, it never happened again (unless my kids are better at keeping secrets).
I know as my kids got older, I was able to let a lot of things that infuriated me go - like eating cookies at 6am, McDonald's every day, etc. I do know exactly where you are coming from.
Since them listening to you isn't an option, it sounds to me like you have two choices
(1) Pay a babysitter. I do think hiring a babysitter has its advantages but paying $10/hour gets old when you tack on $20-60 dollars every time you go out.
(2) If you have your ILs watch the kids, you have to downgrade your expectations to "they returned them alive & limbs in tact).
ITA...and could have written this word for word.... Secrets in our house are a big huge NO NO....and i actually did go and hire someone else since my own mother thought it was ok for her and my DD to have their little secrets.
Secrets are not meant to be kept from mommy and daddy. we eventually did come to a compromise, where there are no secrets from me and DH, but our expectations of what they will let them do is also alot different than what we want. We only use family 1 day per week usually and have slowly put some of our rules back.
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| Posted 6/16/11 2:00 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
I sympathize! 
I have a mother who will go against me and do what she thinks is right, because she did it once before and we survived. And I can just see her telling DS "dont' tell mommy" ...
I would blow my top, if it ever got to that. I hate dishonestly, even white lies drive me nuts.
As much as a cringe at the thought of a stranger watching my child, I think it may have to resort to this. At least with a stranger I could install a nanny cam in my home. My parents and ILs are old and its easier if I bring DS (and all his junk) to them.
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| Posted 6/16/11 2:07 PM |
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MrsSunflwr29
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1093 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Secrets would be the limit for me and I put up with a lot as well. It starts with a pen and then what..
Are they watching them while you are at work or is it only when you and dh go out?
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| Posted 6/16/11 2:41 PM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Thank you for the honest replies! I had to hide my anger when the words "our secret" came out of my 3 yo mouth! I sat with her and calmly said you should never have secrets from mommy because you were afraid to tell me something. I told her was not mad at her at all...that grandma knows better and it was wrong of her to have you lie to me.
Who teaches a 3yo this?!
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| Posted 6/16/11 2:44 PM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Posted by MrsSunflwr29
Secrets would be the limit for me and I put up with a lot as well. It starts with a pen and then what..
Are they watching them while you are at work or is it only when you and dh go out?
EXACTLY! What's next! There have been many things that my dd knows they allow her to do that we don't and I tell her not to lie when we ask if they did allow something.
I am a SAHM. They watch her to help us get things done, errands, or date nights.
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| Posted 6/16/11 2:47 PM |
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hdrd0411
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1923 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
this is why I have a Nanny...I don't want to have the conversations with my family...bc lets be honest...Grandparents are not going to listen to you 100%...they want to be the favorite...
My nanny does everything I ask..
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| Posted 6/16/11 3:13 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Sorry, I think you need to find new sitters.
It sounds like something my MIL would pull & I don't have her watch my kid (which makes life REALLY hard for us).
Last time she came over I screamed at her: "MY house, MY baby, MY rules."
She broke 3 things that I told her not to do in 2 hours.
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| Posted 6/16/11 3:15 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
OMG, the "our secret" thing would send me through the roof! I never thought of it before but ITA that it sets a perfect stage for child molesters! If talking with them doesn't stop the behavior I agree it's time to hire a sitter. I don't like the thought of non-family watching DD but if our families couldn't even be trusted to follow our rules I might have to look elsewhere for childcare. 
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| Posted 6/16/11 3:40 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Sorry my child should not be told be ANYONE to keep a secret from me unless it had to do with my suprise birthday party or a gift for me
It's time to find new sitters ASAP. Your MIL is basically telling your DC it's OK to lie to you...I would be LIVID.
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| Posted 6/16/11 3:45 PM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: SORRY LONG...Those who have family members watch your kids...please help!
Ok.....so at least I am not overreacting!
I thought maybe I was blowing it out...but lying and secrets are not things I want my kids to learn.....
Ok, unless when she kept the secret of what Daddy bought my for Mommy's Day
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| Posted 6/16/11 4:00 PM |
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