Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

what were some of the things that your parents did to make you feel better about yourself and help with the teasing?

I wasn't teased so much in school as I was older but my brother teased me and my parents did nothing to make me feel better about myself. I want to try to develop skills that will help my children..should they ever be teased and maybe help them to be confident enough to stand up to those that tease, either for themselves or others.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Well I WAS a chubby kid--I ate everything in sight and kids would call me fat all the time

My mom and dad would always tell me "you are not fat!" "it is baby fat, you will grow out of it!".

While my parents certainly tried to encourage healthy eating habits and foods--they NEVER made an issue of my weight (I was not obese or unhealthy just a pudge).

My mom NEVER suggested I diet--this is the greatest gift she ever gave me.

When I was 15 *I* decided I wanted to workout and eat healthy and lose weight and I did.


This was @ K-8--I was never teased in HS and got tons of revenge by looking good

Message edited 1/28/2010 10:12:57 AM.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I was teased through Elementary, jr high and high school...My parents always tried to remind me of my good points, if you will, what a great student I was, what a kind and giving person, my achievements...They tried to explain WHY people tease others (jealousy, insecurity, etc.).

I'll be honest...it didn't always work...I had a LOT of self confidence issues growing up...most of those were NOT the fault of my parents though....I had some other family members who fostered that insecurity very well!

For me, with my DD (granted, she's only 2)...I try not to OVER praise her...not everything she does is stellar...overpraising only leads to a child/teen thinking that you feel EVERYTHING they do is great, so your REAL praise carries less weight.

I do try and make a big deal out of things that ARE great...and I try to let her "overhear" me praising her to others...I feel when children think/know that you are talking positively about them when they're not around, it nurtures and fosters that "Mommy/Daddy really DO care and really DO think I'm doing well"...

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Nothing, actually but I never saw it as something they had to do. Is that weird? It never even occurred to me that they should make me feel better about myself My parents were always very encouraging and supportive. I didn't tell them about being teased except for one occasion where I was very badly harassed by a boy on the school bus who pulled his pants down I did tell my mother about that and we took the issue to the principal in the morning.

Everything else I just tried to handle myself. And I think I turned out pretty good.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I was teased in elementary school, because, believe it or not, I wore glasses. I was called 4-eyes all the time. I felt like such an outcast! So funny how times have changed now, glasses are considered a fashion accessory! And I wear contacts now anyway!

And I was also called "fish lips" because I had big lips I just laugh now becuase people pay to get my kind of lips!

I also had (and still have) horrible exzema and was prone to very dry, red patchy skin. I wan't so much teased, but everyone was always like "Ewww, what's wrong with you?"

There was really nothing my parents could do to change the issues.... But they did always tell me smart people wore glasses And they used to tell me that anyone who teased others was just insecure about something themselves. Like an 8-year old knows what that means!

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

nothing, they said deal with it and its a part of growing up.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I was teased by this one boy in third grade. He tripped me outside and made me cut up my knees on the cement badly. Then he threw something at my face. And then to top it off, around Halloween he brought in pink spray paint and spray painted my white shirt pink.

My mom spoke to the mother of the boy and found out he liked me and would talk about me all the time to his mom. (My mom wasn't just saying this to make me feel better, she really did find this out). To a third grader I didn't care if he liked me, I just wanted him to stop and he did after my mom spoke to his mom. Nice way to show someone you like them .

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I was too embarrassed to tell my parents I was being teased (5th grade-8th grade) so they didnt know until much later.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I never really told them. My parents were very practical and would probably have said: "Well, XYZ isn't true so why would it upset you?" LOL they didn't really GET kids. . . but I survived!

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Nothing. I didn't discuss it much with my parents.

The only time I went to my parents was when it got physical - a boy in the 7th grade pushed me while I was walking down the stairs and later slapped me on the back of the head while I was eating lunch (spork injury). My mother - who, frankly by her very nature is a bully - went to the school first and they did nothing. Made all sorts of excuses that his parents were getting divorced and he was acting out, etc... my mom had no sympathy... later saw him in the hallway (open school night) and cornered him and said that if he or any of his friends ever came near me again she was going to beat his a$$ down. And his father's too.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a highlight of my junior highschool career.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I wasn't really teased except by my twin sister. My parents used to encourage me not to let it get to me, not to react the way I did but in the end I'd say it was mutual.

Her biggest thing to tease me about was that I liked to read a lot ("Why don't you go read a book.", "brainiac", etc.) So I teased her back calling her stupid, etc.

I only realized later on that I dumbed down because of her teasing and didn't chime in with answers in class even if I knew them. Later she told me she developed a phobia about people thinking she was stupid.

So unnecessary. I know that teasing is more about how crappy someone feels about their own selves.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

They just always encouraged me to ignore it, and to find shelter in my friends, who were good people. I don't know how they did it, but somehow they raised myself and my brothers to be very self-assured and confident, despite some massive teasing on my end due to my learning disability.

Truthfully, I wouldn't change a thing about it - it's the reason why I'm so driven and confident in my own capabilities, and why I am really committed to helping others in my job, and in my life.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

The taunting and teasing that happened in elementary school was pretty typical for most kids, so my parents handled it accordingly. One neighborhood kid hit me in the back so hard that he threw me into an asthma attack, so my mom spoke with his mom.

It was when I got into jr high and HS that some girls decided to start with me and I'm guessing they picked on me because of my height. I never asked them why, but they used to call me "Baboon". And I'm pretty certain there were references to my being ugly. They didn't like that I sat in the back of the bus, so whenever I was alone, they would physically start with me. (I was always baffled by that because they were half my height. ) I just stood my ground and told them if they didn't like me in the back of the bus, they would have to remove me. :D (which they couldn't.) But the girls made sure to make comments every time they saw me in school. I told my father what was going on and he told me that when I catch each of them alone, to tell them I was going to "kick their a$s if they didn't back off." I did and they stopped.

I was teased A LOT for my height, but coming from a tall family, I had a lot of understanding and support. Plus for every time someone mocked me for my height, 3 other people were telling me how fortunate I was.

I was also teased for a birthmark on my face, but it's pretty subtle and I always wore makeup so that teasing was infrequent, but it was clear when someone commented on it, it was to be malicious and to make themselves feel better.




The best was when I was a junior in college. Long story short, a girl that used to hang with the "popular crowd" and her friends came to make some trouble with one of my friends. I was trying to diffuse the situation and the girl said "Why don't you shut up, you geek." (We were on our way to the police precinct to file a report about them harassing her when they blocked my car in the driveway.) I told her if she had something to say, to get of the car and say it to my face. (I know, not very lady like, but the girl needed an a$s kickin' years ago. ) She got out, along with her 4 friends and they decided to jump me. I kicked the crap out of all 5 of them and busted the "popular" girl's nose. She left screaming "You don't know who you're dealing with! Do you know who my father is!?!!!" Cops show up, give me props for my work. And thanks to my dad, those girls were sent to court. Apparently my dad had more pull than hers.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I wasn't teased in school so much, I was teased MERCILESSLY by my brother -- so much that it greatly impacted my self-esteem. My mother didn't do anything at all about it, which, to this day (I'm 38) I still have issues with it. I don't dwell on it, or even bring it up to her, because we are very close now....but whenever I think about those days, it makes me very, very sad....I had a weight problem almost my entire life (up until I had gastric bypass in 2006 -- AFTER my wedding -- why I didn't do it BEFORE, don't ask! LOL). Anyway, he would say very hurtful, cruel things to me, almost on a daily basis. It was drilled into my head so much that I thought I was ugly and worthless. My parents were divorced and my mother had her own problems, I guess, and didn't come to my defense at all. It hurt more than I can say.....

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I'm most concerned with the teasing that really is bullying. That worries me. There are stories of girls cutting and suicide. Makes me very nervous.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

i was teased bc of my boobs. they came early and FAST. middle schoolers used to call me Rocky all the time - as in the Rocky Mountains.

My mom once said, "what can you do about it? NOTHING, just ignore them."

i was never really bothered by what other people felt about me anyway. COME ON - I wore sparkly green lipstick and argyle knee socks to band practice

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Things that ACTUALLY made me feel better and helped, or things they TRIED with the INTENTION of making me feel better and helping?

Honestly, nothing my parents ever told me or did helped at all. I got...

Just ignore it.
They're just jealous.
I'll talk to their mother.
He probably likes you (if it was a boy teasing).

Thinking back, I would have preferred coping strategies. Encouragement to be friends with nicer people. Addressing the issues I was being teased about. Actually, having a confident female role model would have probably gone a long way too, but that's a whole different issue.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I have really dry, wrinkly hands that are hereditary. I was teased a lot about it and was sooooooo self conscious about my hands when I first started dating. I would sit on my hands all day to try to get them clammy so they would be softer when my boyfriend would hold them. My Dad always used to tell me "any guy worth an ounce won't give a damn about your hands." He was right.

My Dad also used to draw a life chart for me and show me how little of a time period middle school and high school are compared my life as a whole. It wasn't a cure-all at the time, but it made me feel better.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

This was NOT one of my mom's strengths. She would say "oh just ignore then. They are just JEALOUS". Umm, yeah. No. Not jealous.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I was teased and feel the way my mother handled it made it worse. Instead of reinforcing my good points she would just be very negative and angry about the people who teased me. For example she would say things like well John is a jerk and will probably never amount to anything in life.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

My parents never addressed the teasing specifically but they always told me they were proud of me and said I was smart and beautiful so it gave me better self esteem. I never really talked about it and the teasing never got so out of hand that my overall mood or behavior changed so I'm not sure whether they were even aware of it.

Re: Spin off to teasing...if you were teased as a child/young adult...

I hid it my entire life. They had no idea. Nothing could have been done anyway. Kids are a**holes

Message edited 1/29/2010 7:22:19 AM.