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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I think the goal of the women's movement is/was to give all women the freedom to choose what they want to do in life. If staying at home and taking care of the home and your husband is what works for you, who am I to judge that?
I don't have the option, but I could see myself staying home and I am very well educated. I would probably do a lot of volunteer work or philanthropic things, but I guess I am saying "never say never..."
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Posted 1/3/07 9:34 AM  |
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I don't think I could do it, and I admit that I do think less of women who do also (except SAHMs). I come from a family where previous generations of women found themselves widowed or abandoned, and my mom and great grandma (who was widowed at 29 with no skills) always stressed to me that I needed to be able to provide for myself and have an education.
I also think there's a difference between a woman who's between jobs and trying to find something and maybe, whether it's a new career or new job, and a woman who just doens't want to work.
I want my DH to consider me an equal, and that means that I need to contribute my financial share. And heaven forbid something were to happen to him, I have a profession and my own pension.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:35 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by melijane
Sorry but judgemental much? I think if you can afford to stay home and you don't go crazy more power to you. Who am I to judge? I don't think I, personally, would be able to do it. I'd probably start an e-bay business or go to school or something.
Well, she asked what we thought of people who do, and that's what I feel. No one should care what another person thinks, but I do not think I am alone in my views, so if she is someone that cares, this is what many people think. I know some went so far as to call my cousin a prostitute when her boyfriend was supporting them both and she was not working.
Message edited 1/3/2007 9:43:59 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:36 AM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I would go batty. I would have to join charities and volunteer and give myself some purpose if I were to do that....I went to school to make something of myself. This reminds me of an episode of SATC: Miranda goes off on women who "pretend" to be intellectuals and career minded to snag a man and then quit working. I'm not saying everyone who stays home without kids does this, but it reminded me of it. Now, when we have kids, I would love to SAH, but I will still edit and freelance from home and do things to keep the mind stimulated.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:37 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I would LOVE to be able to be a SAHW. That does not mean I would sit around the house all day. I would love to have the freedom to pursue personal interests, the luxury of personal time and enough time to take care of myself and my home the way I would like to.
Message edited 1/3/2007 9:43:14 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:39 AM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I wish I could stay home. I am in a situation right now where I am begining to feel pretty hopeless via my career path. I am so unmotivated. I would never look down on someone for staying home though.
Sometimes I feel like the jerk, wasting my life away at these hopeless jobs.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:41 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by dpli
I think the goal of the women's movement is/was to give all women the freedom to choose what they want to do in life. If staying at home and taking care of the home and your husband is what works for you, who am I to judge that?
I don't have the option, but I could see myself staying home and I am very well educated. I would probably do a lot of volunteer work or philanthropic things, but I guess I am saying "never say never..."
I could have written this word for word, if I could write as well as you!
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:43 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
And I guess part of me says why should this be OK? I know my husband doesn't love his job, my brother doesn't love his job, my FIL doesn't love his job, my BIL doesn't love his job..As a matter of fact, the only man I do know that loves his job is my dad, who is a pompous jerk...
What I am hearing is women saying "I don't like this job thing...I don't love my career." Most of us don't. So it basically is saying that if a woman wants to say "I don't like working..." we can say ok, I am not working, while I think anyone would think it is unacceptable for a man to be a SAHH. I see the women's movement as equality--equal pay for equal work, being treated the same as our male counterparts, and to say it's OK for women to not like working and to quit is going against that to me since we all know it would be unheard of for a man.
I took a class with Betty Friedan, and I've read Gloria Steinem, and I really don't think that this is what they would think they were working so hard for.
Message edited 1/3/2007 9:56:01 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:50 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by nov04libride
And I guess part of me says why should this be OK? I know my husband doesn't love his job, my brother doesn't love his job, my FIL doesn't love his job, my BIL doesn't love his job..As a matter of fact, the only man I do know that loves his job is my dad, who is a pompous jerk...
What I am hearing is women saying "I don't like this job thing...I don't love my career." Most of us don't. So it basically is saying that if a woman wants to say "I don't like working..." we can say ok, I am not working, while I think anyone would think it is unacceptable for a man to be a SAHH. I see the women's movement as equality--equal pay for equal work, being treated the same as our male counterparts, and to say it's OK for women to not like working and to quit is going against that to me since we all know it would be unheard of for a man.
Yeah - I guess my thought is that the entire system is messed up. People SHOULD love what they do. The fact that you and everyone you know hates working - there's a problem with that, dont you think?
Personally I wouldnt care one bit what anyone thought of me if I quit my job and stayed home. To be honest, society would benefit more if i had the time to volunteer, rather than sitting in a job that helps the rich get richer, and if someone were to judge me for making that choice, so be it.
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| Posted 1/3/07 9:56 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by lululu
Yeah - I guess my thought is that the entire system is messed up. People SHOULD love what they do. The fact that you and everyone you know hates working - there's a problem with that, dont you think?
I hear you--and the even sadder thing is that I enjoy my job--it's the people who stink. I worked on Wall Street and felt like I was just working for the rich to get richer, so I made a change.  Office politics stink everywhere.
But to me to love a job would be to say I would do it without getting paid, and to be honest there are very few things I would do without getting paid, and those that I would aren't real jobs (chocolate testers, etc.).
Message edited 1/3/2007 10:02:47 AM.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:01 AM |
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by nov04libride
And I guess part of me says why should this be OK? I know my husband doesn't love his job, my brother doesn't love his job, my FIL doesn't love his job, my BIL doesn't love his job..As a matter of fact, the only man I do know that loves his job is my dad, who is a pompous jerk...
What I am hearing is women saying "I don't like this job thing...I don't love my career." Most of us don't. So it basically is saying that if a woman wants to say "I don't like working..." we can say ok, I am not working, while I think anyone would think it is unacceptable for a man to be a SAHH. I see the women's movement as equality--equal pay for equal work, being treated the same as our male counterparts, and to say it's OK for women to not like working and to quit is going against that to me since we all know it would be unheard of for a man.
I took a class with Betty Friedan, and I've read Gloria Steinem, and I really don't think that this is what they would think they were working so hard for.
Excellent points. I totally agree with you.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:01 AM |
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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I was laid off 3 weeks before my wedding last September and didn't start my new job until November. I went out of my mind. I was depressed, lost a lot of weight (not the worst think to happen), and just felt useless. It was a terrible feeling not contributing. I've always been on my own so having my DH take care of the bills even thou I was getting unemployment made me feel horrible.
I hated not working although right now I also hate working
Talk about not being satisfied! I would love to stay home, work p/t or even volunteer. If I loved what I did I would mind working 60hrs a week either!
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:03 AM |
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nixy
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1575 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
the grass is always greener!
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:07 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by dpli
I think the goal of the women's movement is/was to give all women the freedom to choose what they want to do in life. If staying at home and taking care of the home and your husband is what works for you, who am I to judge that?
I don't have the option, but I could see myself staying home and I am very well educated. I would probably do a lot of volunteer work or philanthropic things, but I guess I am saying "never say never..."
I agree. If I was set for life, I would still need something to do with my day - to improve either myself or help out other people. I think of trust fund babies who are known for doing nothing but partying. I often wonder how sorely disappointed their parents - or grandparents - are that they are contributing nothing more to society than paying a minimal percent of taxes because their trust funds are in off-shore accounts.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:17 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I am currently a house wife  not by choice though. well, that isn't 100% true. I could have gotten a job by now, but I am enjoying my time off and the fat severance that I received.
I do feel guilty sometime, but not usually 
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:25 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by nov04libride
And I guess part of me says why should this be OK? I know my husband doesn't love his job, my brother doesn't love his job, my FIL doesn't love his job, my BIL doesn't love his job..As a matter of fact, the only man I do know that loves his job is my dad, who is a pompous jerk...
What I am hearing is women saying "I don't like this job thing...I don't love my career." Most of us don't. So it basically is saying that if a woman wants to say "I don't like working..." we can say ok, I am not working, while I think anyone would think it is unacceptable for a man to be a SAHH. I see the women's movement as equality--equal pay for equal work, being treated the same as our male counterparts, and to say it's OK for women to not like working and to quit is going against that to me since we all know it would be unheard of for a man.
I would be fine if the positions were reversed, I liked where I worked a bit more then I do and of course if finances permited. I would expect to never have to do a chore, errand, laundry, etc since those are the things I would take care of 100% if I were a SAHW.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:29 AM |
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july06bride
I'm a mom!
Member since 5/05 3966 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I am a stay at home wife right now... I am a teacher by trade and worked three years in a district I was not thrilled with... DH got this amazing position for his company BUT it required 100% traveling, which meant that we would be separated and newly married. That didnt sit well with either of us. We decided since I was not thrilled with district anyway and being newly married we should be together, so I took a leave of ab. from my job (just in case I want to go back) and I travel with my husband.
Unfortunately his first review for his job was in CT, where we live, so we didnt go too far, I was a little uneasy with being home right in my backyard, so to speak, and I got a part-time job at a tutoring center for a few hours a day 3 days a week, it doesnt not bring in a lot of money, but it keeps me busy and I enjoy it.
Now, the next review we are going to be in GA and from there on we dont know where we will be. Chances are I will not be working. I do not think of myself as less of a woman because of this. I love my husband and in order to advance his career he needed to do this. If we were not together,I would be working, but would not have my husband around for two years and that would be miserable for us.
Eventually, I will go back to work but right now I am enjoying the quiet time, doing stuff for myself and DH, and when we are away I plan on taking language lessons and other sorts of classes.
My education did not go to waste, an education never goes to waste if it improves you.
I could not do this forever, but I would be able to do it when I have children
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:32 AM |
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Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!
Member since 5/05 1939 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I would feel guilty as a SAHW without kids. I wouldn't want to see DH working so hard for us and me sitting on my butt or filling my time with errands and housework.
It is fine for others, but I couldn't do it. DH and I are a TEAM.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:33 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
As far as looking down on someone for staying home (without kids) I honestly don't think anything of it EXCEPT where the couple may be struggling. I personally don't agree with one spouse staying home while the other has to hold down multiple jobs to pay the bills - that's not fair in my opinion - regardless if it's the husband or wife. Other than that I actually never really thought that people stayed home without kids - which is a narrow point of view on my part. 
When I was laid off it drove me crazy to be at home. Granted the place was cleaner than it had ever been and all the errands were caught up...but that got old fast. On the other hand, once I got my job offer I had 2 weeks before I started - since I was on severance still I have to admit that that was the best time! We had money coming in, I had a job lined up and so I could rest easier.
But in and of itself - I could not do it.
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:47 AM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
i did before children....and I loved it!
I had a great job before I was married, but then we moved about 1 hr away from where I worked after I got married....
My DH & I discussed & agreed on the idea that we wanted to start a family soon and I would be a stay at home mother, so I knew that time before I got pregnant was my time to enjoy not working -and I did!
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| Posted 1/3/07 10:49 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
I wouldn't be able to do it. Not only would I be bored out of my mind, but I like knowing that I help contribute to the economic well-being of my family. I wouldn't want to depend solely on my husband for money. It makes me feel more independent knowing I bring in a paycheck too.
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| Posted 1/3/07 11:42 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
Posted by Ang-Rich
As far as looking down on someone for staying home (without kids) I honestly don't think anything of it EXCEPT where the couple may be struggling. I personally don't agree with one spouse staying home while the other has to hold down multiple jobs to pay the bills - that's not fair in my opinion - regardless if it's the husband or wife. Other than that I actually never really thought that people stayed home without kids - which is a narrow point of view on my part.
this is my aunt and uncle!! my cousin is 13 years old, in school all day, abel to stay home for a couple hours after school by himself, etc. BUT, my aunt decided that now was the time for her to "be a mother to her son", so she stopped working. she literally sits at home and watches TV all day. she doesn't even do the laundry for my uncle! and my uncle doesnt' make that much money at all. not to mention that my cousin is getting older and closer to college age, so they need to start saving for his college! its nuts!
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| Posted 1/3/07 11:54 AM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to Work or Stay at Home
If you can afford to not work and your husband is not killing himself to support you, then it sounds good to me.
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| Posted 1/3/07 12:00 PM |
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