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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Ok, I like Diana, was extremely surprised by how many MILs (and some Moms) don't get cards/gifts for their daugthers & daughters in law.
I truely believe Mother's Day is an occassion to celebrate all Moms, not just "your mom" (which I'm so amazed some people truely believe). No judgements, just really really amazed.
So, for those of you that don't receive things from your Mom and/or your MILs, are you gonna make sure you do things differently when you have a daughter or daughter-in-law? Do you think you'll remember these moments (and these posts where a lot of girls were hurt) and change things?
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Posted 5/10/10 1:36 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I did not get anything from either mom this year, but did last year.
I will make sure to get my daughters/daughter in laws at least a card on Mother's day. I think it is a nice thing to do.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:38 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I will most certainly celebrate my future-daughter-in-law's mothers days. ESPECIALLY the first one. She deserves to be celebrated as a mother- the mother of my grandchild!
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:40 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by kerrycec03
So, for those of you that don't receive things from your Mom and/or your MILs, are you gonna make sure you do things differently when you have a daughter or daughter-in-law? Do you think you'll remember these moments (and these posts where a lot of girls were hurt) and change things?
I have a very complicated on and off again relationship with my mother. This is nothing new, and has been going on since before I was even a teenager.
She was the main reason I went through the majority of my life not wanting children because I was so afraid I would be just like her.
When I met DH and changed my mind about children, I VOWED I would do whatever it takes to be the complete opposite of how my mother is/was.
My DD will know her mama loves her and always will and that there is nothing (which reason of course!  ) that I would not do for her.
She will NOT have the same childhood that I had. These things are forever burned into my memory.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:41 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I think the bottom line is that everyone celebrates this day differently and some place much more significance on the holiday than others.
To me, its not a big deal holiday. I get something fo rmy Mom and MIL. My Dh spoils me and that is all I really expect. Perhaps it is because my birthday is always around or on Mother's Day that it just seems like a minor "hallmark" holiday for me.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:47 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by MrsRbk
I have a very complicated on and off again relationship with my mother. This is nothing new, and has been going on since before I was even a teenager.
She was the main reason I went through the majority of my life not wanting children because I was so afraid I would be just like her.
When I met DH and changed my mind about children, I VOWED I would do whatever it takes to be the complete opposite of how my mother is/was.
My DD will know her mama loves her and always will and that there is nothing (which reason of course! ) that I would not do for her.
She will NOT have the same childhood that I had. These things are forever burned into my memory.
I could have written the same exact post.
My mom is my role model for how NOT to be a mother.
So, yes, I will make every effort to make my daughter feel special and loved and cherish her for the woman she becomes.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:47 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I don't know what I'd do for my dd and future daughter in law. I'm always surprised how into some of these holidays people get.
I can tell you that from personal experience I prefer being treated nicely by someone all year long than getting an insincere card once a year. I have one parent who is very supportive year round and one who is a POS most of the year and on occasion remembers to acknowledge me, and I roll my eyes when I see those cards in the mailbox. I hope that my children and their future SOs view me as a constant positive, supportive influence in their lives, rather than a part time participant.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:50 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by Shorty
I will most certainly celebrate my future-daughter-in-law's mothers days. ESPECIALLY the first one. She deserves to be celebrated as a mother- the mother of my grandchild!
AGREED!! which is why i felt bad about Devon's post. It was her first mothers day too! at least acknowledge that one.
I've always celebrated mothers day as a celebration of mothers, not just my mom.
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| Posted 5/10/10 1:52 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by Shorty
I will most certainly celebrate my future-daughter-in-law's mothers days. ESPECIALLY the first one. She deserves to be celebrated as a mother- the mother of my grandchild!
agree with this.
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| Posted 5/10/10 2:02 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I plan to do with my sons and their wives what has been done to me my entire life. I will follow the example of my own family.
I will treat them kindly. I will love and hug them. I will celebrate their achievements. I will help out whenever I can (whether it be monetarily, putting a roof over their heads, or just listening to them) I will treat their wives as if they are my own daughters. I will bend over backwards for my grandchildren (ex: my father is coming here tonight, after working a full day in the city, just so I can go to a spin class and really, just so he can see the boys) I will be thoughtful. I will take them on family vacations once a year because I think it's so important to have that family time.
There are so many things that I know I will do when I am a MIL. I also know that my DH feels the same way!
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| Posted 5/10/10 2:08 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I don't know.
the situation I have now is an extremely wondeful hands on grandma saving me $18,000 a year in day care costs, who feeds, baths and loves my son immensely every waking day of the year.
she irons her sons (my dh's) shirts, cleans up after I make dinner, and is on call and THERE whenever we need her.
she has never told me "I love you". never told me "good job" or "you are a good wife to my son" ever.
but that means NOTHING to me.
the only two people who need to believe that I am doing a good job is my husband and my son. the whole word could tell me I am a good mom, but if they don't think so, what good is it? and the whole world could think I am ****, but if they believe in me and the love I have for them...who cares what anyone else thinks?
I don't put any stock in outside big ups or praise. b/c none of that keeps my kid or my husband loving me and their life with me.
my MIL is very kind to me. Am I her daughter? no. and she certainly makes a distinction between me and her children (and that is ok too...b/c they are hers) but she loves my husband and my son as ferociously as I do. that is all i need from her.
and hopefully my son will be loved as much by both of the women in his life. and if he finds someone who would move the earth for him. she will have my love and respect as I have my MIL's. I hope to do nothing different than how I am treated. and if I do all that and my DIL gets pissy about an friggin card I may have to kick her asssss
Message edited 5/10/2010 2:18:51 PM.
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| Posted 5/10/10 2:17 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
interesting question.
I for one got nothing, no call no card no nothing from my MIL and definitely not my own mother.
For AJ I will of course celebrate her motherhood. Its a bonding thing of mom and daughter.
My father wished me a happy mother's day and said how neat it was to say that to his little girl. 
I actually called up a few single parent guys I know to wish them a happy mother's day because they are the BEST Mr. Mom's I know  They have double duty and do it well.
I don't have a son, so I can't say I'd wish my DIL a happy mother's day but I'm sure I'd wish a happy father's day to my son (which prolly makes no sense does it?  )
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| Posted 5/10/10 2:27 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by CathyB
I don't know what I'd do for my dd and future daughter in law. I'm always surprised how into some of these holidays people get.
I can tell you that from personal experience I prefer being treated nicely by someone all year long than getting an insincere card once a year. I have one parent who is very supportive year round and one who is a POS most of the year and on occasion remembers to acknowledge me, and I roll my eyes when I see those cards in the mailbox. I hope that my children and their future SOs view me as a constant positive, supportive influence in their lives, rather than a part time participant.
I hope to have a good relationship with my kids and their spouses and will do everything I can to make sure I do.
However, if throwing in a card or a little gift will curtail the potential for hurt feelings, I plan to do it.
Cards are important for some people-not to me, but to some people. I found it interesting on that thread that some people have a great relationship with their MIL but still felt hurt because they didn't receive a card.
If something so little means so much to someone else then I will make sure I do it because the downside to NOT doing it is so much worse (hurt feelings, even temporarily) than the down side to doing it (maybe she thinks I am a weirdo for sending )
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| Posted 5/10/10 3:33 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Posted by Diana1215
I plan to do with my sons and their wives what has been done to me my entire life. I will follow the example of my own family.
I will treat them kindly. I will love and hug them. I will celebrate their achievements. I will help out whenever I can (whether it be monetarily, putting a roof over their heads, or just listening to them) I will treat their wives as if they are my own daughters. I will bend over backwards for my grandchildren (ex: my father is coming here tonight, after working a full day in the city, just so I can go to a spin class and really, just so he can see the boys) I will be thoughtful. I will take them on family vacations once a year because I think it's so important to have that family time.
There are so many things that I know I will do when I am a MIL. I also know that my DH feels the same way!
I love this
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| Posted 5/10/10 3:36 PM |
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Hotmamma408
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/08 692 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I received something from both Mom and MIL. Because I have a son, I will definately do something special for any future DIL. I think it is so important to make any part of your family feel special!
Message edited 5/10/2010 3:37:15 PM.
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| Posted 5/10/10 3:36 PM |
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lesliemike
The twins are almost 2!
Member since 11/08 2249 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I received a gift and a card from my Mom but nothing from MIL and my mom is OOT and we spent Mother's Day with MIL and she didn't even acknowledge that it was also my Mother's Day and My 1st for that matter!
I will totally send my DD a gift and card on her Mother's Day! I will be so excited and proud of her! I will do the same if I have DIL's!
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| Posted 5/10/10 3:39 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
I got nothing from my Mom...I think she kinda still thinks about it as "her" day. My MIL got me some candy and a hand scrub. My DH got me a card from the boys and is getting me a Mommy necklace.
I will definitely celebrate my DIL's on Mothers Day
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| Posted 5/10/10 3:58 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
my MIL never gets me anything not for christmas , bday, mothers day , nada! At first it upset me, but then I realized that's just how she is. I no longer give my inlaws gifts for the above holidays. First couple yrs I spent so much time looking for something nice and it's not reciprocated, so I don't bother anymore.
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| Posted 5/10/10 6:12 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff about all these MIL/Mom card posts
Nope my MIL didn't give me a card at all - or a gift - but she never does. But she certainly is quick to ask where her card was.
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| Posted 5/10/10 6:43 PM |
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