Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Having worked in the field; I just want to remind everyone that it is OUR duty to call if we are uncomfortable with anything we see, hear or are told about a child. It isn't for us to decide what is abuse and what is not; they have professionals for that. We, as a community, need to step up for children and make the call because they can't do it for themselves.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Agreed!

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

i think the problem in this case is that some people are picturing a helpless child, while others are envisioning a smartasss teenager testing their limits.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

I agree in theory... but I honestly think some people have hot little fingers and push the buttons on the phone waaaaaaay too fast.

My sister died when my nephew was 5 years old. My sister was the consumate SAHM. She drove a minivan, was a soccer mom, cooked, cleaned, did all the shopping and all the caretaking.

When she was gone - my BIL was left with a 5 year old son and a retarded adult daughter and he had NO IDEA what he was doing. He was in NO WAY abusive. But he was clueless.

We helped out - going over and cooking, cleaning and doing whatever we could to help him get on his feet. My mother pushed past her own grief to be there for him as much as she could. But he wasn't perfect.

CPS came knocking one day and he was investigated for neglect. Someone reported that his son looked 'dirty'.

Not WAS dirty even... but LOOKED dirty.

See.. he had no idea that you couldn't wash brights and darks together - so my nephew's clothes were a bit dingy. Clean - but dingy. And he didn't iron.

He had to have CPS in his house to investigate. It was embarrassing to him. It made him feel as though he was a horrible parent. It made him miss my sister even more and convinced him that he wasn't capable of living without her and raising children without her. He asked my mother if she would adopt his son so that he could have a 'good life' with a 'good parent'.

Fortunately the caseworker was probably MORE angry with the person who called on him than I was. If that's possible. The whole thing was written off as unfounded or whatever the proper term is. But for that small time - that note on his door telling him that 'someone thinks you are a rotten parent' until he got the opportunity to sit down and talk to the caseworker. What an awful thing to have to go through on the heels of losing your wife.

I have also heard of people being investigated by CPS because someone doesn't like them and wants to make their life miserable.

I guess my point is - call when you really believe there is a problem... but be careful when you call because you really are f*cking with someone's life. And they may not deserve the call after all.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

the difference is this

i am assuming you are a teacher - i forget what everyone does

if the kid comes to school with bruises, and says mommy hit me

or if the kid comes to school every day with bruises and says i fell down the stairs

or if the kid says mommy, uncle, daddy or whoever touched me improperly

then, yes, you have to call the authorities to investigate. The kid may be fibbing, but you don't want to find out the hard way that he or she isn't. If you ignore it, the kid won't tell anyone and that could turn into a real problem.

In this case, you had a little bit more proof. The teenager was clearly not listening to the mother and was disrespecting her by calling her a b*tch.

And hey, the daughter was crying "stop hitting me" - for all we know, that's what she wanted people to hear to spite the mother. Kids hear all this abuse stuff on TV and try to work the system.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

the difference is this

i am assuming you are a teacher - i forget what everyone does

if the kid comes to school with bruises, and says mommy hit me

or if the kid comes to school every day with bruises and says i fell down the stairs

or if the kid says mommy, uncle, daddy or whoever touched me improperly

then, yes, you have to call the authorities to investigate. The kid may be fibbing, but you don't want to find out the hard way that he or she isn't. If you ignore it, the kid won't tell anyone and that could turn into a real problem.

In this case, you had a little bit more proof. The teenager was clearly not listening to the mother and was disrespecting her by calling her a b*tch.

And hey, the daughter was crying "stop hitting me" - for all we know, that's what she wanted people to hear to spite the mother. Kids hear all this abuse stuff on TV and try to work the system.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

the difference is this

i am assuming you are a teacher - i forget what everyone does

if the kid comes to school with bruises, and says mommy hit me

or if the kid comes to school every day with bruises and says i fell down the stairs

or if the kid says mommy, uncle, daddy or whoever touched me improperly

then, yes, you have to call the authorities to investigate. The kid may be fibbing, but you don't want to find out the hard way that he or she isn't. If you ignore it, the kid won't tell anyone and that could turn into a real problem.

In this case, you had a little bit more proof. The teenager was clearly not listening to the mother and was disrespecting her by calling her a b*tch.

And hey, the daughter was crying "stop hitting me" - for all we know, that's what she wanted people to hear to spite the mother. Kids hear all this abuse stuff on TV and try to work the system.

No, I am not a teacher; I was an ACS worker that took the CPS cases once they were placed.

Again, I wasn't referring to any particular incident just to the fact that we need to step up and protect children. There are way too many children dead from the hands of their caretakers for us not to make those uncomfortable calls. One child dead from abuse is one too many.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

A hit that leaves a mark or bruise, or when a child is hit with an object is crossing a line legally. But it is not illegal to spank or hit your child.

As a school social worker, I deal with this and the CPS hotline regularly.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

I call the police frequently on my white trash neighbor who fights with her boyfriend in front of her house, while holding her 1 year old. It is so not right and that poor kid is going to be screwed up because of it.

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

I agree....I actually thought it was a law that if you dont call when you see someone being hit in public, they can turn around and sue you...am I correct??

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police

Re: Spinoff to calling CPS/police