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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Just wondering how many moms would be OK if their DC was lost in a store, and they found them a short while later with a middle-aged man by himself? What would be your first reaction?
Most of you "know" me here by now, and you would probably be OK with me watching your DC while you went to the bathroom, or put a shopping cart in the corral while I stayed by the car. However, if I was by myself, wearing my "comfy" weekend jeans and t-shirt, and haven't shaved in a while, would you be thrilled that I was trying to help DC, or appalled and assume I was trying to be less than good?
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Posted 3/28/08 9:40 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
If you were trying to help him - I would be extremely grateful.
If you looked/acted super shady - I would be weary - but as long as I had my little man back in my arms - I wouldn't care how he got there! 
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:41 AM |
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kellybean
LIF Infant
Member since 9/07 85 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would be very disturbed and its prob a shame because Iw ouldnt have the same inital reaction if it was a female and I know thats wrong but Im being honest....It would bother me alot.
however I would be absolutely happy that I had my child and he was safe
Message edited 3/28/2008 9:42:49 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:41 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
My brothers are both dads and I trust them 100% with my son (maybe even more than many women I know). I would be thrilled that you helped my DS until I got him back.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:43 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by dpli
My brothers are both dads and I trust them 100% with my son (maybe even more than many women I know). I would be thrilled that you helped my DS until I got him back.
BUT, you know your bros and dad. It's not about trusting men with DC, it's about trusting a strange man that you've never met before being with DC in a store.
I'm just trying to point out that many men are very hesitant to help a child out in a store because they are afraid of the repercussions. I love kids. I have two of my own, I help instruct 3-5 yo's in DS's karate class. I plan on being a Boy Scout leader when DS starts going, etc, etc. However, if you saw me alone with your DC in a store, you wouldn't know all that. All you would know is that I am a stranger alone with DC.....
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:49 AM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I go with my gut. If you were unshaven, wearing jeans and t-shirt (like I am most of time)  but I sensed something "ok" about you - I wouldn't have a problem. I would be very thankful. If you were wearing the same outfit (or even a suit, with a fresh haircut) and I sensed something off, I would be a little put off.
ETA: I would feel that way man or woman. Given the same scenario.
Message edited 3/28/2008 9:51:21 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:50 AM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I think initially it would scare the crap out of me to see my lost child standing with a strange man opposed to a strange woman.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:50 AM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would be grateful to you for helping my child.
If you truly seemed "shady", I would probably feel uneasy, but grateful nonetheless.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:51 AM |
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Mrs
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1652 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by dpli
My brothers are both dads and I trust them 100% with my son (maybe even more than many women I know). I would be thrilled that you helped my DS until I got him back.
BUT, you know your bros and dad. It's not about trusting men with DC, it's about trusting a strange man that you've never met before being with DC in a store.
I'm just trying to point out that many men are very hesitant to help a child out in a store because they are afraid of the repercussions. I love kids. I have two of my own, I help instruct 3-5 yo's in DS's karate class. I plan on being a Boy Scout leader when DS starts going, etc, etc. However, if you saw me alone with your DC in a store, you wouldn't know all that. All you would know is that I am a stranger alone with DC.....
I think I understand what you are saying and you def. have a good point. If you took a little boy / or little girl by the hand to bring him to the security guard, I have to say I would  seeing you lead my DD if I saw that.. I'm sorry but I think that is what the media has done to us.
Message edited 3/28/2008 9:53:48 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:53 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Just to add: I'm definitely not judging anyone for what their gut reaction is. Honestly, I would also be less comfortable with a man finding DC than a woman. I think it's a combination of the media, society, and our instinctual sense of women being nurturers.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:53 AM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by GoldenRod
I think it's a combination of the media, society, and our instinctual sense of women being nurturers.
ITA
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:54 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by kellybean
I would be very disturbed and its prob a shame because Iw ouldnt have the same inital reaction if it was a female and I know thats wrong but Im being honest....It would bother me alot.
however I would be absolutely happy that I had my child and he was safe
I have to agree..sorry.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:56 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by dpli
My brothers are both dads and I trust them 100% with my son (maybe even more than many women I know). I would be thrilled that you helped my DS until I got him back.
BUT, you know your bros and dad. It's not about trusting men with DC, it's about trusting a strange man that you've never met before being with DC in a store.
True, but I guess I trust that most people would be trying to help him, especially in such a public place. Perhaps it's a little naive, but I hope that the good guys out there don't let the weirdos keep them from doing the right thing.
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| Posted 3/28/08 9:57 AM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I think I would take it at face value, and hope you really did have my child's best interests in mind if he was lost. Though it's hard to say. I do think men who are strangers are distrusted more than women generally speaking.
One time a dad and his toddler were getting on the subway. The little boy got on, and the dad was folding the stroller on the platform. The doors shut, and the little boy was on the train. Anyway, my boyfriend at the time (not DH) and myself tried to help him and got him off at the next station. There was a cop waiting there, and right away he started to question us about how we found the child, what did we do, etc. I guess he has to do this. The father was there in a moment, and did the same. I was a little annoyed to be honest, we tried to help, and I can't say we looked suspicious or scary, but now I can kind of see why people react this way.
It's too bad there are so many sick people out there, and we tend to distrust that others would actually just want to help.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:03 AM |
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kellybean
LIF Infant
Member since 9/07 85 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by BabySammie
Posted by kellybean
I would be very disturbed and its prob a shame because Iw ouldnt have the same inital reaction if it was a female and I know thats wrong but Im being honest....It would bother me alot.
however I would be absolutely happy that I had my child and he was safe
I have to agree..sorry.
It makes me sad to know that I would feel that way but its true and unfortunate....I have guy friends that are amazing with kids etc...but if someone didnt know them I am sure they would think it very very odd....
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:10 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by kellybean
I would be very disturbed and its prob a shame because Iw ouldnt have the same inital reaction if it was a female and I know thats wrong but Im being honest....It would bother me alot.
however I would be absolutely happy that I had my child and he was safe
I would have to say it depends on the vibe I got from the person. Not sure I could answer that without "feeling it out."
But in any case I would be happy my DC was found & safe.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:11 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by GoldenRod
Just to add: I'm definitely not judging anyone for what their gut reaction is. Honestly, I would also be less comfortable with a man finding DC than a woman. I think it's a combination of the media, society, and our instinctual sense of women being nurturers.
Thank you for being honest. I think that for me it would all depend on how the scene was laid out. If the man was visibly trying to help my child (talking to him to get answer to my identity, keeping a safe distance yet not too far as to lose the child and obviously looking for help) I would be okay. Put that guy and my son in front of a security guard and I am 100% fine and wouldn't think twice about anything shady.
Seeing that man hold my child, touching my child or having my child on his lap...big no no...and that goes for women too.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:12 AM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would be so happy to have DD back I would be grateful more then anything, however Im sure my internal feelings would be a bit more uneasy then if it was a woman helping my child
I was in toys r us recently and there was a lost child crying in the aisle. I went over to the boy and told him Ill help him look around for his mom, and there was a man nearby who said he had already looked for the mom and couldnt find her and was waiting nearby looking out for the boy till the mom or a store worker came over becuase he didnt want scare anyone......That was the first time the whole situation of man vs woman really hit me. The guy was a good guy but didnt want to be be accused of anything or cause more problems I guess. It made me wonder how many men think that way. I figured even though this man didnt get directly involved with the boy it was great that he was still looking out for the kid.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:21 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I think initially I would be disturbed - unless you were looking around, calming them down & obviously trying to help them. If you were walking around the mall or toweard what I perceived as an exit, holding their hand like they were "yours", I would probably react VERY STRONGLY.
Attire would have nothing to do with it. I would feel the same way as a male dressed in a suit. I haven't forgotten that the Infoseek VP was arrested on attempted child molestation charges or that the VP of Sun Microsystems was sent back to Thailand to face child molestation charges.
This came up in the car yesterday because my kids were talking about strangers. Joseph told Maddie that "Girls don't really take kids. I think it's more of a boy thing." On some level he may be right, because a woman can more eaily have her own child without a man. However, mental illness & sexual deviancy doesn't discriminate.
Message edited 3/28/2008 10:22:08 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:21 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Honesty I wouldnt be weirded out..just eternally grateful!!!
BUT I have to add a disclaimer of sorts...
Your post has made me think a bit of what I teach my girls. One of our things is the following: If you get lost in a store, mall, amusement park etc and you cant easily find someone who works there. I have taught them to ask a Mommy with kids for help...
My thinking, I suppose, was that a women "stranger" was safer than a man "stranger"...I'll have to reevaluate my thinking and see if it needs to be adjusted.
Message edited 3/28/2008 10:55:23 AM.
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| Posted 3/28/08 10:55 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by hbugal
Honesty I wouldnt be weirded out..just eternally grateful!!!
BUT I have to add a disclaimer of sorts...
Your post has made me think a bit of what I teach my girls. One of our things is the following: If you get lost in a store, mall, amusement park etc and you cant easily find someone who works there. I have taught them to ask a Mommy with kids for help...
My thinking, I suppose, was that a women "stranger" was safer than a man "stranger"...I'll have to reevaluate my thinking and see if it needs to be adjusted.
I think "Mommies" are still ok, but mommies over a woman stranger. My main reason for telling them to look for a mom over a "policeman" or "security guard" is because I don't think my 4 year old could ever tell the difference in uniforms. I fear she would follow a janitor or any random guy in a uniform to a backroom.
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| Posted 3/28/08 11:22 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would not be freaked at all....I have 3 brothers who are wonderful fathers....I would be very grateful to anyone who helped my lost daughter
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| Posted 3/28/08 4:45 PM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
Posted by cgdg61606
I would be grateful to you for helping my child.
If you truly seemed "shady", I would probably feel uneasy, but grateful nonetheless.
me too
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| Posted 3/28/08 4:52 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would be freaked out. Even if it was a women.
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| Posted 3/28/08 4:56 PM |
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Karebaby
Precious
Member since 10/06 5304 total posts
Name:
Karyn
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Re: Spinoff to child lost in the mall
I would be weary, but would let you help as long as you seemed normal.
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| Posted 3/28/08 5:08 PM |
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