Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

How did you approach your mom, MIL, friend, whomever about watching your LO? Or did they offer? Did you also offer to pay them?

I feel weird asking if they are willing to watch LO and then I feel weird if I should be offering $? I don't know. I wouldn't offer a family member $ if they were going to babysit so DH and I could go out for a night (meaning like my aunt or cousin or someone like that - a teen I would) but I feel like its awkward and I'm just not sure how to approach the situation. Any tips?

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

Basically, my mom quit her job 14 years ago to watch my sister's first. She just said so long a she was able to (she's only 62 now) she'd be our childcare so long as we need it. She wouldn't take money but I know my sister buys her spa certificates and stuff. I'll do the same. I don't think she ever imagined 5 kids at once though, LOL!

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My MIL was already watching my SIL's kids, but only 3 days a week. Initially she offered to watch DD 3 days but it turned into 5 days!

We didnt offer any money cuz we knew she would not take it but we take her out to eat often and spend $$ on bday and xmas for her etc

Message edited 4/8/2011 10:51:13 AM.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My MIL was watching BIL's kids and then my BIL had his MIL watch them because it was easier for them location wise. MIL has been asking since then before a baby was even a thought if she could watch our baby. She just loves it.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

both mom and MIL offered. I am not going to pay them, but I do like the idea of spa GC's and dinners, etc.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

As soon as I announced my pregnancy, my Aunt offered. We are still waiting for MIL to offer I don't think I would feel comfortable asking anyone. If they don't offer or at least bring it up, I wouldn't.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My MIL just offered to watch DD two days a week and the other person (family friend) who will likely watch her the other 3 days it came up in a conversation about day cares in the area and she just said that if we needed someone she already watches one little girl, her house is child proof and she would love to watch our DD. She then mentioned what the other person pays her and that was kinda that. Thankfully I didn't have to ask either person it just sort of happened naturally.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

Until we get a house where MIL can move in with us -- we will be paying her living expenses in exchange for her being our child care.

Her quitting her job is just what works out best for everyone. She can start collecting social security as well, so she has her "own" money. She barely makes above min. wage as a cashier and lives alone in a very very small apt. So I'll be happy to see her not have to work 40 hrs a week for peanuts and not worry about paying her bills.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

my friend will most likely be watching our LO...

Me and DH talked about the idea, but it actually came up by my friend at lunch one day. she know our situation and knows i am not thrilled with the idea of having a stranger watch my LO, so she offered. i of course said we would pay her, but def expect some sort of discount lol

we are letting our hubbies talk details tho, cuz we are best friends i dont want it to be weird when discussing money. i have an idea in my head what i wanna pay her so i told DH to aim for that when he talks to her hubby.

if it were my mother tho who were watching the baby she prob wouldnt accept money even if we offered.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My mom watches DS 3 days a week and I am home 2. Those other 2 days she takes my niece to school and picks her up.
She will watch both of them when baby girl comes along.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My SIL just mentioned to me in passing that she wouldn't mind at all if we needed her to watch the baby when it is born. We don't know where we will be then, but right now, her house is as perfect as she is so we will most definetely take her up on it. Just have to run it by DH again since we spoke about it many moons ago while TTC.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

We never really discussed it. It was always assumed that my parents would watch our LO. My mom has been looking forward to this actually and maybe she mentioned it one day but we always knew they would watch our children.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My parents offered, and would never in a million years take money from me. - They offered b/c they want to do it, and b/c they wanted to help to save us money.

My MIL also offered, but I think she wanetd us to pay her -


Everyone has very different feelings about this subject, but to IMO, if I'm paying for childcare, I want my child in a 'school' type of environment with other kids, and a cirriculum and staff and other people accountable etc etc.
So I wouldn't pay a family member (but I also wouldn't have a Nanny for this reason as well)
But honestly, even if my parents were willing to watch my kids full time for free, I STILL would spend the money for them to go to daycare a few days a week b/c I think it's what's best for them -

IF anyone family or not, was watching my kids full time, all day, every day I would feel horrible about not paying them - I don't think I could do it, whether they expected it or not.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

One of my grandmothers is currently a nanny to twin girls. The family will not need her anymore come September because the girls are going to school next year.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I asked her if she would be my nanny. I am due in September so the timing is perfect and she NEEDS an income. She is still in her 60's. So we offered her $500/month. For us its a win/win. We save about $500/month, trust family with our child and the sheer fact that she will come to me so that I dont have to wake up at the crack of dawn to drop the baby off somewhere makes it all worth it.

I would never think of not paying my daily provider regardless of who they are but thats just me. Childcare is very hard work and Im pretty sure no one in my family would be that generous. I think its great if you can though.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

MIL offered before I was pregnant and said she wouldn't take money. Of course, we will still try to insist, or make it up to her in other ways. I think 5 days is too much for her, so we have a good friend who stays home with her LOs who also offered. We will of course pay her. Maybe we'll do a 3 day/2 day split. DH can also be home in the winter a lot, and I am home in the summer.

RThey offered b/c they want to do it, and b/c they wanted to help to save us money. e: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My ILs will be watching DC once a week for us. It came out during a conversation once and I honestly can't remember exactly how. I just remember talking about when we would like children, which was soon, but that we were nervous financially, especially having to pay for daycare and it would be a great help if we could at least get one day a week from them, which my MIL said she had no problem with. Once we told them we were officially pregnant, one of the first things my MIL mentioned was that we still wanted her to watch the baby on Monday's. So I was happy she remembered and still was willing to do it! No mention of money has ever been made!

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

My fil watches DS twice a week for 10 months. At Christmas we gave him a gift certificate towards a cruise they were going on.

He offered and would never accept regular pay.

Re: Spinoff to childcare question - for those of you having family/friends watch LO

Posted by jasmine

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by MarisaK

-

Everyone has very different feelings about this subject, but to IMO, if I'm paying for childcare, I want my child in a 'school' type of environment with other kids, and a cirriculum and staff and other people accountable etc etc.
So I wouldn't pay a family member (but I also wouldn't have a Nanny for this reason as well)


IF anyone family or not, was watching my kids full time, all day, every day I would feel horrible about not paying them - I don't think I could do it, whether they expected it or not.

I agree with you.

I prefer daycare to my mom or mil.

I am lucky enough to be home the first year (maybe 2,3). But once my child is 2.5 I WANT them socializing and learning in a daycare.

The only time I would have family or nanny fulltime is infant age, after that I prefer a school setting.
This is just MY preference.

These are our thoughts as well. My mom offered to watch and while we considered it at first, we want him socializing with other infants and would prefer a school setting. Also, we don't live or work near my parents and don't really want to move to their area -- we would each have very long commutes to work and very long workdays, so my mom would be watching at a minimum 11 hours a day, 5 days a week.

We're still working things out, but I'll be home with for 4 months and ideally we'd do daycare 3-4 days a week and some combination of me, DH, me/DH, or my mom sharing the other 1-2 days.