Spinoff to moms of children with developmental delays....

I am just wondering if any of you are guilty of this.

A lot of the time when meeting someone new at the park, or a playgroup or a public place, I tend to tell people that Johnny has some sensory problems and speech delay...

It's not always the first thing I say, but eventually I open my mouth and fill them in.

I then walk away feeling upset and like I'm betraying my kid. In a book I have about parenting a child with sensory problems it clearly states to never let the disability define your child. Because it then sets a precedent in other peoples minds about your kid.

Meaning the first thing people will now associate with your kid is that he has a delay/disability. They will put that before any of the other great attributes they may have.

I just get sad that I do this. I try to make attempts to not talk about it...most people say to me "I would never have known anything was wrong, he seems like any other 2 year old". Then I feel so badly...

I need to stop this....it's honestly really bothering me!

Re: Spinoff to moms of children with developmental delays....

i used to do this too.. i think it was my defense mechanism against people thinking i was a bad mom or something.. or that my kid was " weird"
Now i don't say anything.. because i honestly don't care what people say or think.. some people are so ignorant.

one time in an all out rage my 9 year old who was then 4 had a fit in Target. he was screaming and thrashing and throwing things.. he was becoming violent to me. i walked in the back of him and put my arms tightly around him to "restrain" him (to calm him down).. i wasn't hurting him i was talking to him and trying to reason with him.. before he damaged something or hurt someone or hisself. i was given many dirty looks, through the whole thing and then a security guard escorted me out of the store and told me that they don't appreciate the way that i "handled" my child.. i was hysterical, mortified and in shock!

Re: Spinoff to moms of children with developmental delays....

I used to be the same way, but you know what, I discovered through my conversations about it that many many children have developmental delays and made a lot of great friends that shared that common bond with me.

Now that he is older, his social immaturity really stands out and I get really upset to see the other children reject him. So when I have an opportunity and am meeting a parent, I explain the situation so that maybe they will teach their children tolerance of other children that aren't quite the same as them.

Re: Spinoff to moms of children with developmental delays....

Depending upon the situation I usually mention my daughters issues...

She's 14 now and b/c of her disability I dont really have to deal with most of the typical teenage issues. It feels wrong to me to commiserate with other parents about teenagers when I just dont have the common "problems".

You can tell there is something going on with my daughter once she speaks to you. So I feel better letting people know what she is up againest so they understand who she is....

I also like shocking some people by telling them that she has Down Syndrome. They just dont expect it b/c she doesnt look typically Downs. I guess I kind of feel that it's a learning experience for them.

Re: Spinoff to moms of children with developmental delays....

I usually don't tell anyone. My husband tells everyone. He does not focus on the delay though, like he will say... Lance doesn't talk yet so he gets therapy, and he is a lefty so I hope he throws the ball fastl because I'll have him pitching for the Yankees, and he is 35 inches already so I think he is going to be 6'4. You know, just everything.

I don't think it is a bad thing to tell people, just as long as it is not the only thing you tell people about your son. I feel bad for not saying anything, almost like I am ashamed of it, but I am not at all.

Message edited 6/29/2008 6:03:31 PM.