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Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
I'm BLOWN away with how unsupportive and obnoxious some people have been on this board recently. So what if I don't post here anymore I just need to say that some of us are supportive but I've been finding that people use this site to just be SO rude.
I asked for help on a meeting the baby party because I'm Jewish and wouldn't have a shower, and I'm not remotely Jewish enough to have a Baby Naming. I want to do a fun party to celebrate the birth of my baby girl. Do I ever tell you all that your baby showers are solicitations to get gifts? No freaking way!
I'm told I'm crazy?? I didn't ask you! I asked for a caterer. PLEASE. Enough of the attitude. I cannot be the only one who thinks it. If you wouldn't say it to a friend at work, don't say it to me.
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Posted 6/18/15 3:34 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
Please take a deep breath and step away for one moment. There was only 1 post that mentioned that, I think everyone else was trying to be honest about what it's like when you have a 1 month old at home. No one said don't do it, just that it's difficult, you are running on very little sleep, still getting used to the routine, each other, etc. That's all everyone was trying to say.
As for a caterer, I'm not entirely sure where you are or what kind of food you want, but I know Seaqua caters, and they're delicious!
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| Posted 6/18/15 3:40 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by jessnbrian
Please take a deep breath and step away for one moment. There was only 1 post that mentioned that, I think everyone else was trying to be honest about what it's like when you have a 1 month old at home. No one said don't do it, just that it's difficult, you are running on very little sleep, still getting used to the routine, each other, etc. That's all everyone was trying to say.
As for a caterer, I'm not entirely sure where you are or what kind of food you want, but I know Seaqua caters, and they're delicious!
I was told I was crazy with no helpful advice attached to that, along with agreements that I am coming off as tacky and 2 comments about soliciting for gifts. The people who I am inviting know me and know that I'm not REMOTELY tacky or want gifts. The people I'm inviting want to come stare at the baby. It's not weird. And BOY am I glad I'm not friends with people who think it's weird to come meet a new baby. Whoever said that sounds like the nicest most supportive friend I've ever heard of...oh wait...the opposite.
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| Posted 6/18/15 3:44 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
You asked for honest opinions, and that's what you got. I think that only 1 comment sounded rude, the rest were giving honest thoughts and helpful ideas. You really REALLY need to reread what was written by the others.
ETA: Not to mention that I added information on a caterer that I know of... but I didn't know what kind of food you are hoping to order.
Message edited 6/18/2015 3:54:24 PM.
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| Posted 6/18/15 3:52 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Thank you for the recommendation. I will look into them! Wasn't sure yet. Thinking maybe bagels/fruit/coffee at our house would be nice and simple unless someone happened to give a rave review about another company for a similar type event.
Re-read the posts and people are agreeing with the word tacky. Just odd. It's a big thing we're all going through and my best friends aren't quite there yet so I like to use this board to hear from other mom's/preggos. I never make someone feel stupid when I answer their questions. We were all "there" once as the newbee...
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| Posted 6/18/15 3:58 PM |
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TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here
Member since 8/11 6338 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by jessnbrian
You asked for honest opinions, and that's what you got. I think that only 1 comment sounded rude, the rest were giving honest thoughts and helpful ideas. You really REALLY need to reread what was written by the others.
I wasn't part of that thread but just read it to see what it was about. I agree with Jess when you ask for ones opinion that's what they gave you. It seems like you took it hard since you are now positing about it but people were giving you their honest opinion.
I got attacked by a poster on the infertility board a month or 2 ago but I didn't let what she said bother me I still post and still give my opinion whether people agree or not. That's the purpose of these boards which is one of the nicest ones I came across. They are nasty on thebump.com
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| Posted 6/18/15 3:59 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
IT is a big deal, I think people are just so used to being invited to every little event party just as an excuse to get gifts... I know that's typically how I feel about certain kinds of parties when I get invited, but I don't look poorly on the person, it's just what today's standards are.
If you want bagels, and are in the massapequa area, we really like Broadway Gourmet, we've catered from there before.
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:00 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
Also, if you look back a little over a year ago, I got called out for something and honestly, I didn't see it at first, I really thought I was totally justified and, while I still don't agree with what the person did (why I was complaining on the preggo board), I took the response and spent some time looking at myself.
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:04 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to My
As a guest I would take a gathering where I get to actually meet the baby over a shower any day. Don't let the negative posts get to you. You did get some good advice at least. I think the at home, relaxed, bagel idea is perfect. Pick up a fruit platter and some cookies from the grocery store and get a few dozen bagels with assorted cream cheeses from your favorite local place and call it a day. I would assume people will bring goodies as well. I'd plan it for maybe 6 weeks pp so you feel good, baby is a bit older, and you have some wiggle room if the baby is late.
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:08 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by MrsT809
As a guest I would take a gathering where I get to actually meet the baby over a shower any day. Don't let the negative posts get to you. You did get some good advice at least. I think the at home, relaxed, bagel idea is perfect. Pick up a fruit platter and some cookies from the grocery store and get a few dozen bagels with assorted cream cheeses from your favorite local place and call it a day. I would assume people will bring goodies as well. I'd plan it for maybe 6 weeks pp so you feel good, baby is a bit older, and you have some wiggle room if the baby is late.
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:10 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by MrsT809
As a guest I would take a gathering where I get to actually meet the baby over a shower any day. Don't let the negative posts get to you. You did get some good advice at least. I think the at home, relaxed, bagel idea is perfect. Pick up a fruit platter and some cookies from the grocery store and get a few dozen bagels with assorted cream cheeses from your favorite local place and call it a day. I would assume people will bring goodies as well. I'd plan it for maybe 6 weeks pp so you feel good, baby is a bit older, and you have some wiggle room if the baby is late.
You made me exhale :) Thanks. I think I'll do just that. 
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:22 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
How would you feel about an open house? Something less formal, where people can come and go as they please, so you (hopefully) have less of a chance of having as many people to entertain at once...
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| Posted 6/18/15 4:28 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Message edited 7/20/2015 7:33:19 AM.
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:03 PM |
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alexb
LIF Adult
Member since 5/13 960 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to My
Ivarones perhaps would be a good option for you since they have so many food options to choose from. Sorry for all the negativity btw- all i kept thinking was 'she asked for catering recommendations, not opinions...'. In regards to soliciting gifts, i rarely ever think of this when im invited to places. My friends do financially well so why would i think they need anything from me to begin with? Anyhow, i love this idea and hope you have a great event!
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:09 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Thanks Jess - I do like the idea of an open house and would probably position it that way so it's less to entertain at once! I'm a hostess/server/food lover so wanted to have some nice food out for people to enjoy as they were there. The trick is positioning the open house idea on the invite and as I got RSVPs I can also mention that sort of thing.
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:11 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by LastLightGlow
I didn't respond because I don't have any reccs but I think its a great idea. I have always thought that a "party for the new baby" idea makes a whole lot more sense than the traditional baby shower anyways. I respect the tradition of baby showers and would not call them tacky though(even though showers are definitely more gift oriented than what you are planning).
No matter what you do someone will disagree with your choices. You do what you feel is best. Take LIF with a grain of salt.
Thank you! Don't think we've spoken yet so hello :) And also thanks so much for your words. I appreciate it and agree there is always someone out there ready to disagree. 
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:12 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by alexb
Ivarones perhaps would be a good option for you since they have so many food options to choose from. Sorry for all the negativity btw- all i kept thinking was 'she asked for catering recommendations, not opinions...'. In regards to soliciting gifts, i rarely ever think of this when im invited to places. My friends do financially well so why would i think they need anything from me to begin with? Anyhow, i love this idea and hope you have a great event!
Interesting - thank you I will look that up!
And thanks for your thoughts. Negativity is toxic and toxicity is not needed in this day and age... I like to stay positive and there are def ways of being helpful/sharing opinions without talking down to each other. I do financially well and so do my friends/family. They wouldn't remotely think we want gifts...and if they want to get us something they would have done that regardless of a party. This way they get a nice piece of cake or cookie! 
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:14 PM |
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Dani
Life is about choices.
Member since 5/05 6532 total posts
Name:
Dani
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Posted by jessnbrian
How would you feel about an open house? Something less formal, where people can come and go as they please, so you (hopefully) have less of a chance of having as many people to entertain at once...
this is what i mentioned that my cousin did.
also, some show, i forget which one.. called it a "sip and see"
you could invite people to come meet the baby and sip champagne and apps, something like that.
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:33 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
I personally wouldn't have a bunch of people over to meet baby at once but I'm a germaphobe and don't want ppl holding my newborn. We do immediate family only for a few months. But I'm crazy. Lol. I don't see it s a gift solicitation though. People generally bring a little something when someone has a baby anyway. Even if they have gone to a shower (which is an obvious gift solicitation).
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:35 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Found this on pintrest, it was for an adoption but change the wording slightly to birth of newborn from adoption, and I think it would work! This way they know it's an open house and to "stop by" but it still has the formality of an invitation & RSVP. Image Attachment(s):
Message edited 6/18/2015 5:50:00 PM.
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:49 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Spinoff to My
I know it's basically the opposite event, but for my grandmother's wake in April, we had my Great Aunts bring out cold cuts from Brooklyn (Italian cold cuts, that is) and good bread and we did a spread like that. It made up very nice and worked very well for the open house feel of the dinner between the two viewings.
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| Posted 6/18/15 5:51 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Spinoff to My
99% of people are so nice on here. If you think this board is bad don't go on babycenter lol!
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| Posted 6/18/15 10:22 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Wow, ok. I hadn't followed your other thread, but just read it so I knew what you were talking about. Yes, one poster was very rude and it happens to be someone who is always rude and even changed their screen name in the pastbc she was so nasty. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
And yes, it is a great idea. They even have a name for them. Sip and See. Brunch, bagels, Mimosas, whatever.
Imo a shower is way more a solicitation for gifts.. Helll the whole point is to shower the person with gifts and registry info is included on the friggin invitation! I'm Jewish also and I don't have baby showers, sprinkles, etc.
Enjoy!
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| Posted 6/18/15 11:13 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Even if you had a shower. Do whatever you and dh want! Don't let anyone make you feel different
A baby is a wonderful event and those who want to come will come. And even bring gifts. The horror lol
For what it's worth I ga a big shower for my twins and when people visited in the hospital. Some brought gifts.
Is it so hard to believe some people just like the idea of a celebration. Not gifts?
Congrats to you and I'm sure everyone will love meeting your lo
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| Posted 6/18/15 11:26 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to My "Meet the Baby" Post
Go for it!
There is no issue with looking like you're soliciting gifts because, 1) you're presumably only inviting your nearest and dearest who you want to be around your newborn, and they will know you better than that; and 2) when a baby comes, people usually give a gift anyway--whether it's a shower gift, an "I am meeting you" gift or whatever. Your having this is not going to induce a second git from people if they just sent one, and it's going to give people a venue in which to give the gift to the baby if they haven't yet.
No issue.
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| Posted 6/19/15 5:33 AM |
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