Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

So has this post come up yet?

This is what I posted in rachel's "fears" post.

and of course now that I have toddlers and Ive been in the parenting game a while, my newest fear is when we are out.
someone kidnapping them or one of them getting lost, etc.
Im like a nutjob with my eyes on them at all times. I have to be close to them or see them 100% of the time. some moms think im nuts, but most moms Im with have only 1 or 2. Im constantlly doing a head count Its become as obsessive as my choking fear was.
I just dont trust anyone or any situation.
I have a whole strategy and plan of attack as we enter and exit the car. I feel very vulnerable since I have so much to get done, pack into the car, etc.

Ive spoken to my boys about strangers and what to do. but Im sure it really hasnt sunk in, especially not to Luca... he'll be 3 in March..

What are good ways to approach this? I avoid large crowded places when Im with them alone. and when we go out, I usually dress them in something similar that will stand out, or Im usually with eyes on them 100% of the time. Im just paranoid with all we hear on the news lately...

thoughtS? advice?

Re: Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

Even though I just posted in Rachel's poll post that I'm an in between mom but more towards laid back, this is one area that I have an issue with. From day 1 I was parinoid that someone would take Bella when I wasn't looking in a store. I had to have one hand on the cart at all times! I still haven't grown out of that totally. I began to, and then a well meaning lady at Macy's (employee at the make up counters)came up to me and told me how beautiful she thought Bella was and raved about her. Of course I was glowing with all the attention to my GEORGOUS little girl! Then she said the words that just sent chills down my spine- "You better hold onto her and keep a close watch, she is georgous and someone would want to take her from you... be very careful! Hold onto her tight!" Thanks lady! You just sent me back into paranoia at the mall!

I think it's normal to feel that way and a good idea to have a plan, but you can't let it run your life or ruin your time out of the house. Since your children are old enough to talk about strangers with, I would just sit them down from time to time and review the rules. Tell them if anyone comes up to them and tries to grab or lure them away to shout loudly, "help! Stranger!" over and over really loud! I would practice and roll play with them. You have to make them feel secure and not afraid when you do this, so you dont create a fear in them. You just have to show them what to do and give them the tools to help themselves in a situation like this.

As for you, always keep an eye on them. They will wonder off from you but don't let them out of your sight. Always keep a recent photo of them on you and remember what they were wearing that day.

I just remembered something too, you can create a secret password that you share with your kids and anyone who is "safe" to be with them. This way, if the person doesn't know the password, your child knows not to go with them.

Here's more on the topic:

preventing abduction

Re: Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

On one of the channels Jack watches they are always promoting a video called "The Safe Side". Its been put together by Julie Clark (Baby Einstein creator) and John Walsh. It looks like a good tool to use.

www.thesafeside.com

Re: Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

I just assume that someone is going to take Ava. I know that might sound like I'm paranoid, but it's not that at all. I assume someone will steal her, and so I go about my life in a different way. I never turn my back on her in the store, I never leave her for a second in the car while I return a cart, run into the house, etc. I think that's all I can do at this point since she doesn't know what the heck is going on around her. It's sad that that's how I have to think, but what other choice do I have? I don't fret over it, I just choose to believe someone is looking to take her, and therefore, the path I go down is one of constant supervision right now. That's the best I can do, I guess.

Re: Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

I just wanted to add that when I was younger, my mom got "How To Raise A Street Smart Child," which is narrated by John Walsh and I believe it came out fairly soon after his son was killed. She made me watch it several times...she'd let a couple months go by and put it in again to reinforce it. That video put the fear of g0d into me when I was little. I can still remember parts of it today...the little girl running away from a stranger and yelling as she went...them saying that you should never make a child do something with someone that makes the child uncomfortable, like even kissing a family member (I remember this one because I remember quoting it when my dad was trying to make me give him a kiss--side note to this was that it was after they were divorced and I had hardly seen him anymore, not an everyday thing)...and the worst part was when they showed footage of the crime scene of his son and everything that happened when they found him (nothing graffic, but enough to scare a kid into listening).

Message edited 2/22/2007 9:42:22 AM.

Re: Spinoff to Rachel's worry post... STRANGER DANGER??

This is a HUGE fear of mine. We live on the corner of a pretty busy street in our development, and there is an elementary school a few blocks down that street. I feel like it's a pedophile magnet - my mother thinks I'm insane.

Anna, can you share how you get the kids in and out of the car? Our car fits in the garage, but I can't open the doors enough to be able to access the carseats that well, so I have to do it in the driveway. Since Sarah can't do our stoop stairs herself, they are really high and no banister, I carry her out to the car, put her in, lock the car, then go back for Andy. I do the opposite when we get home, put him in the house first, then her. My theory is that she has a fear of strangers so she'll *hopefully* scream bloody murder if someone tried to get her.