Spinoff to the Shiva Post

Why is not OK to bring flowers?

DH answer was because you can't eat them. Very not helpful when I'm curious.

Re: Spinoff to the Shiva Post

jews don't bring flowers to the funeral, cemetary or shiva homes b/c there is no body open to the air (like there is in a christian wake--even though the body is embalmed and today there would be no smell of a corpse, the christians have kept the custom of the flowers for their fragrance) and b/c it's not a jewish custom to do so. at a cemetary, jews leave small rocks on the headstone to show that their loved one is remembered and visited.

jewish funerals happen w/ in 24 hours of the death (except on shabbat and certain holidays) and funerals are closed casket.

According to the book "A guide to Jewish religious practice" by Isaac Klein (p. 280), "The use of flowers at funerals--myrtles to be exact--is mentioned in the Talmud, but is discouraged in current practice, both from a desire to keep funerals simple and in opposition to the introduction of alien and pagan customs. People who wish to express sympathy for the bereaved family in a tangible way should contribute to the favorite charity of the deceased or to the synagogue where he or she worshipped."

(p.290) in the Shiva section:
"Gifts brought or sent to the house of Shiva should be suitable. Flowers and candy, currently the most popular items, are not, since they usually result in waste. Close friends may send food, but the most appropriate gift is a contribution to the favorite charity of the deceased or to the synagogue where he or she worshipped."

Message edited 5/13/2009 9:40:32 PM.

Re: Spinoff to the Shiva Post

This makes much more sense and agreeable! Thank you so much Marnie!

I was always curious about this, and google was not very resourceful tonight.

Re: Spinoff to the Shiva Post

Re: Spinoff to the Shiva Post

In addition to Evnme's well stated post, we learned in Hebrew School (I know - this is going back a while!) that flowers remind the mourners of death because they die so soon after being gifted. I always thought that made sense.