Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

DH and I are very careful with everything we say around Marissa. I never make negative or any comments about my weight or any issues I may feel I have with my weight. I don't want Marissa growing up worrying about her "size" we have enough w/ the media & magazines.

Well, yesterday we were in the car w/ my cousin who is 12 and she said I have to go on a diet because "I'm fat" and she's only like 75 lbs if that. Marissa said to her "you're not fat". I was so mad that she said that. I just kept quiet and said nothing.

Should I have said something? How would you address that issue with a 6 year old???

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I don't know if you even should. She seems to have a good attitude at 6. "You're not fat!"

I think the best way to address weight issues with children is like the other thread, tell them we are all different shapes and sizes, and if a child is overweight, don't make an issue of it with the child, you're the one who feeds the child, so change what you feed her/him.

I have a 12 year old cousin who is very thin and tall for her age. She has hardly any fat on her, and she says "I need to go on a diet" and she takes the bun off her burger, etc, and eats "low carb" because she has seen our other cousins obsess over weight (and they are not fat either)...it's really sad, actually.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I'm very heavy and I'm so afraid of Emily developing issues like I've had if she is also ... I try to talk lots and lots of walks with her and take her to the park now that she is little so that hopefully exercise will be a fun thing for her .... but I'm also hoping to try to enstil in her what I realize now as an adult .... that I am beautiful reguardless of how big or small I am.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

Geez, I completely misread that, sorry

Message edited 4/20/2006 10:53:39 AM.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I would tell her that someone people are obsessed with their weight and do things to lose weight that isn't healthy. I would also explain how media plays a role, etc. I know she's only 6 but she understands a lot more than you think. Years ago, my niece told my sister that she was fat at aged 4. That was a very big wakeup call for us to really keep our comments about our weight to ourselves.

Also I would mention to my cousin that her 12 year old was saying she's fat & wants to go on a diet.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

Wow - I don't think that I would have said anything either.

I want to you for being careful about how you speak and act around your daughter regarding food and weight. Growing up, I saw that mom never really ate - it really had a terrible, terrible impact on me during adolescence and I still fight it now as an adult. What you're doing is great.

Message edited 4/20/2006 10:52:02 AM.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

Message edited 4/20/2006 10:56:15 AM.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I think your daughter has a very healthy outlook to begin with. The key is to reinforce those concepts to her. Unfortunately, most girls become weight conscious as they hit the dating years due to peer pressure and exposure to model type images on tv. Its best to give them the right guidance on a healthy self image from the get-go.

I spent most of my teenage years obsessing over looking like Madonna or Samantha Fox/Lita Ford. It wasn't anything my mother implied; she was supportive of any weight loss efforts I attempted but she never was on me about my weight. Now as an adult, I'm very concerned about how my weight will affect my daughter. Will she be embarrassed by me? Will I slow us down or hold us back from doing things down the road? Will it affect my health which will ultimately affect her? I know it already affects other aspects, like I don't want to be photographed, thus no pictures of "us" together. That's why I'm exploring weight loss surgical options; not as a stepping stone towards vanity, but towards a more healty lifestyle.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I grew up as an obese YOUNG child and up until about 4 years ago I was a morbidly obese adult when I had gastric bypass surgery in the summer of 2002, Was it the ideal way to lose weight? Probably not but I had to save myself.

When I reflect up my childhood, and how I got to be the way I was I can NAIL it as to how and why it happened. As children, we were served massive amounts of food in a family style presentation. If there wasn't enough food for leftovers, then there wasn't enough food at all. We did not have models for active lifestyles as my father was working til 7pm and my mom was a housewife - not the mom who played golf and tennis, but the one who was home all day. My two sisters and myself were not encouraged to partake in sports, dance or any other physical activities whereas my brother was involved in baseball, gymnastics and everything else. Boy=active and girl=inactive in MY house. All of us girls were obese. My brother was not.

There is a point here. I was the person who had to endure an incredibly painful childhood as " the fat kid" who was taunted and tortured from 3rd grade through high school. It wasn't enough for my mother to say "What comes around goes around..." about those who teased me. I want to avoid that hurt for my children when I have them. I want them to be healthy and I DO NOT want surgery to be an option for them.

I feel that the best way to do that for kids, is to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Show them good eating habits, show them an active lifestyle, show them how good they will feel when they accomplish a huge goal. You may never actually HAVE to have that conversation that says "Honey you need to watch what you eat." or "Honey you will get fat." Just think about how many things we did as kids just because our parents did the same things.

I took the responsibility of my adult obesity, but it started in my childhood when I was not old enough to choose my own food or cook it myself. Parents are important here.

Message edited 4/20/2006 12:31:28 PM.

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

I don't think you can protect your children from hearing all sorts of negative things, especially in this day and age. But I do think that you are already doing the best thing for her, giving her a healthy attitude about herself and showing her a healthy attitude in her parents. Ultimately, what you teach her in your home will prevail. I don't think you need to address everything someone says to her in order for her to know that it's not right. She probably didn't even think much of it after it was said because you've already instilled in her that it's crazy to think that way!

Re: Spinoff: Weight Discussion W/ Your Child?

i think kids need to learn about being HEALTHY not skinny..huge difference