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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Stay home vs work
How long should you stay home to form that "Bond" with your baby, Origainally I though I wanted to stay home for good, but now...i just dont know if I can, my mom said she would babysut, andim a tecaher. my hubby can go to work at 10:30, so the baby woudl be with my mom from 10:30-3, i just dont want him or her to think grandma is the mom, u know??? What does everyone think about this? Is 8 weeks home enough...
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Posted 4/27/07 10:22 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....
Member since 11/06 6686 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stay home vs work
8 weeks I think is enough-6 can be enough depending on financial constraints. You are lucky to have a mom who doesnt work
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:23 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Stay home vs work
Don't worry about bonding. Plenty of moms have to go back to work, yet they have quality time with their baby when they are home.
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:25 AM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Stay home vs work
Right now I'm saying I want to to stay home for the 1st year. I do have my mom she literally lives right down the road from me and I know she would be a big help. When the time comes we'll see but I'm pretty sure I'll stick with staying home for the first year. I wanted to look for another job anyway or go back into cutting hair. The thing is the benefits. I'm the primary holder and we have really good insurance. It will hurt us hard if we have to apply for our own health coverage.
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:35 AM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Stay home vs work
ok i just get worried becaus ei work in a school and I see the differenc ein kids that stay after school late because people work etc...and im sure there are OTHER factors involved...i know everyone does the best they can, some people have no choice, i just worry...I want to make sure I do the right thing...IM goignt o by in charge of a life, its so scary
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:35 AM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stay home vs work
Posted by shellybean
How long should you stay home to form that "Bond" with your baby, Origainally I though I wanted to stay home for good, but now...i just dont know if I can, my mom said she would babysut, andim a tecaher. my hubby can go to work at 10:30, so the baby woudl be with my mom from 10:30-3, i just dont want him or her to think grandma is the mom, u know??? What does everyone think about this? Is 8 weeks home enough...
speaking from previous experience ...I had to go back to work at 6 weeks, and I really felt it wasn't enough time. Back then..they didn't have FMLA..so I had no choice. I have chosen to stay home for 3 months. I always felt so guility leaving him so small with a babysitter..and I really felt I was missing out on alot. But..it's a personal choice ..no one can tell you how long is enough for you to stay home.
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:37 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stay home vs work
I stayed home for 3 months and thought it was a perfect amount of time. Of course I wish I could have been home forever with him but reality hits.
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:39 AM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Stay home vs work
I know maybe I can win Lotto...JK
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:52 AM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Stay home vs work
I will be home for 16 weeks (4 months)-and i am already dreading going back because I know I will feel sad....but I think 8 weeks is good
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:55 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Stay home vs work
8 weeks is a good amount of time, not everyone gets even that!
I think it's grea that your mom is offering to watch your baby. Don't worry about him thinking she's the mommy, you will be fine.
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| Posted 4/27/07 10:57 AM |
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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Stay home vs work
I just read an article last night that said children who have "attachments" to care givers like (nannies, grandmas, daycares etc.) show no signs of "un-attachment" or loss of attachment to there mothers.
Basically, having someone care for your child while at work will not break the bond you have established with them.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:24 AM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Stay home vs work
This is a difficult one. I MUST return to work after baby, for financial reasons. I will be able to stay home for 3 1/2 to 4 months though, so I am REALLY excited about that!! I feel like a TERRIBLE mommy though, because I am going to school too. But the goal is to get an education for a job where I only have to work 2 days a week. sacrafice here, gain there. It's so hard!
There is no perfect solution I don't htink! Good luck with your choices!
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:31 AM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Stay home vs work
I will be staying home for 4 1/2 months. We all have to do what we must to provide the best for our children. I think 8- 12 weeks is enough time before going back to work.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:37 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Stay home vs work
My mom watches Steven while I work and has been since he was 3 1/2 months.
he DEFINATELY knows who his mommy is.
OH, and I spend 10 hours away from him a day 
Message edited 4/27/2007 11:45:10 AM.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:44 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stay home vs work
I would try to stay home at least 12 if you can maybe a little bit longer. More for your sake than the baby's. It's such a personal decision and I think it's so hard to make until you have the baby. I was very undecided until I had her and I basically became a SAHM because I wanted to be with her the majority of the time. At 6 months I went back to work PT. Now that she's 19 months I consider FT but we're planning another baby soon so it's almost not worth it for a year.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:52 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Stay home vs work
I dont think it will matter, the bond will be there either way.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:55 AM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Stay home vs work
I'm staying home for 12 weeks. My job is very flexible though, as we speak I am working from home. So when I go back I won't be away all day and DH is usually home by about 2:30.
My friend is a teacher and her mom watched her daughter. Her daughter never lost that bond with my friend, even though her grandmother was watching her.
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| Posted 4/27/07 11:58 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Stay home vs work
Posted by girlygrl33
I dont think it will matter, the bond will be there either way.
I agree. I went back to work after 10 weeks and saved 2 weeks for the end of the year (which was two months later) DH watched her for a month and then at 4 months Bella went into daycare...
There is honestly no one she prefers more than mommy...seriously--ask DH, it drives him bananas sometimes...I make every moment I can count and well, babies know their mamas...
I truly feel that Bella has flourished in daycare...she's smart, loves to be around people, and it makes my life and her life that much better...
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| Posted 4/27/07 12:00 PM |
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LUCY
I <3 Gabriella
Member since 6/06 1029 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: Stay home vs work
I will only have 6-8 weeks depending on my type of delivery because I have been on bedrest for so long..... I feel like it is not enough time but am lucky my husband can take a week off and my mil and mother will take some time as well....
I am the breadwinner currently, although my DH should surpass me in 2-3 years so not working is currently not an option but will be down the road.
I am with you... Im on the fence about staying home... I think it may be a very difficult thing to do... especially since I have accelerated in my career...... I guess when the baby comes and we start getting into our routine I will make the decision...
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| Posted 4/27/07 12:03 PM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: Stay home vs work
Ok thanks so much for the input, I will have off, then go back, then have the whole summer off since im a teacher, so should be ok....Im just a nut! I will be due around dec. or january, havent gotten an exact date yet, have 2 wait 11 more days to go back for another sono....plus my mom said she would bring the baby to my work for lunch a few times a week....and my hunny can work from home...2-2 days a week, on that note, is that possible to work and care for baby at home, do u get anything done??? I told him i dont know if that will work, maybe my mom could come over and help him on those days...
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| Posted 4/27/07 12:25 PM |
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Re: Stay home vs work
My mom watches my son for about 6-8 hours a day and he never thought that she was his mom. Your baby will know you are mommy and know that your DH is daddy. Just wanted to put your mind at ease about that. 
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| Posted 4/27/07 12:57 PM |
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