struggling new mommy

When I was pg, I always heard how hard the first 6 weeks are so I thought I was prepared. Well, DD is 4 weeks old & I am having such a tough time. She can be such an angel during the day- lots of great naps, some nice awake time when I sing to her and show her toys, very little fussing, good eating.

But at night. whoa!! From about 8 pm- 1 am she is impossible to soothe. She fusses like crazy, and sometimes just screams her head off for hours. No naps/sleeping at all during the evening. Even when I nurse her, she fusses (we're pretty sure it's the gas pains). It's so stressful for us. I feel like the worst mom in the world when my precious little girl is screaming and nothing I do helps. The gas doesn't seem to bother her nearly as much during the day.

We try all of the soothing techniques- baths, massage, swing, bouncy seat, baby bjorn, etc. Nothing works for more than 10 minutes at a time. This happens every single night.

Thanks for letting me vent. This is so tough. Any advice would be great.

Re: struggling new mommy

Well I am probably the last person to be giving advice but your situation matches up pretty well to what we have been experiencing the past few days.

Jiavana also has gas which only bothers her at night, although the burps/farts that come out of her are quite amusing!

Who would think this precious could make these crazy noises!

Anyway, the dr told me about the gas drops. I noticed that she seems to be in pain towards the night hours and give her the little tummies gas relief before i'm ready to go lay down for a bit and it seems to work.

Other than that, I'm stuck just like you. I have sat there and cried because she was screaming her head off and I had no idea what to do for her. Everyone keeps saying it gets better, so we just have to hang in there!!!!

Re: struggling new mommy

I had a very difficult first few weeks. I feel your pain. I had no idea how to soothe my baby at night. The best thing I did was get the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. The book is for colicky babies. My DS did not/does not have colic but the suggestions in the book helped a lot.
The basics are the 5 S's to soothe a crying baby. They are swaddling, sideways (holding them sideways), swinging(in swing or in your arms), shushing and sucking (on a pacifier or breast). Sometimes, my DS would calm after one or two, sometimes I did all five, but it does work. Good luck! It will get easier. My DS is only 11 weeks now and the first few weeks are a distant memory now.

Re: struggling new mommy

They say it gets a little better after 6 weeks, right??? It's just so tough!

I have read that book- thank you for the recommendation. Unfortunately, it does not work for us at night. During the day, the 5 S's work pretty easily, but not at night. We always swaddle her for bed anyway- wishful thinking, I guess! I walk around the house ssshhhing like crazy all evening! In fact, I was sleeping the other night, heard DD crying on the monitor, and started ssshhhing and patting DH in my sleep!! I'm losing it!

Re: struggling new mommy

I know how you feel. My son had a "witching" three hours instead of witching hour from weeks 3-8. The only thing I found that worked was white noise. I actually bought a CD at BRU of a blow dryer noise, fan, vacuum. To this day he still calms with white noise...the other day at the beach with the waves coming in and crashing his face was like

Re: struggling new mommy

DD was such a fuss pot, (still is) but was much worse those 1st few weeks Nothing seemed to work and we tried it all! We held her for hours! Nights were the worst with the crying spells I blamed my milk, maybe something I ate, etc, it wasn't that... It was just something she needed to grow out of. It got better by the time she hit 3 months... I find the sling to be a blessing! Anytime I wear her in it she is happy! Please know that you are doing everything right and hang in there, you are doing great Mama

Re: struggling new mommy

First of all...

Next, I feel your pain. The first month and a half for me was also very very hard. I can identify exactly with what you're saying....only my son didn't have a certain time, sometimes in the middle of the day, sometimes in the middle of the night.

We started swaddling and using white noise and saying "SHHHH" in his ear loudly (sounds bad but it really works). The book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" was a lifesaver for us.

B R Us sells a white noise CD with different things on it like a vacuum and a fan that you can just repeat play. My son is almost 4 months and still sleeps best swaddled...that was one of the things that saved us. If you want any specific info FM me, I'd be happy to help you out...I know how confusing and just exhausting it is. You'll get through it, it DOES GET BETTER!!!!!

Re: struggling new mommy

This is exactly what we went through with Katie when she was born. It lasted until about 6-7 weeks and then got MUCH better.

My DD has acid reflux which was part of the problem and she also was colicky. Maybe check with your ped and make sure she doesnt have a/r, that can cause a lot of pain for them.

My only other advice is hang in there...there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better.

If she is colicky its very common for them to have a bewitching hour when they start fussing...sounds like what you have happening. There are some formulas made for colicky babies that can really help them, talk to your ped - and good luck!

Re: struggling new mommy

Ahhh...the witching hour. Ours started at 10PM until about 1AM. Often, it was gas. We used the Mylicon drops ( a MUST have) and would swing her from side to side . Swaddling and sucking would help then. It DOES get better. I promise.

Re: struggling new mommy

First many 's

The first 6 weeks are definitely the roughest.

Are you using Myclicon drops? That might help.

Have you tried holding her like a rag doll and kind of drapping her over your arm so that her stomach is pressed into your arm. The pressure might feel really good on her poor tummy if she is having gas. Are you proping her a little when you give her her nighttime bottle?? You might want to put her up on your shoulder when you are done for about 10-15 minutes to help make sure all the gas is out.

You are NOT a bad Mommy. It is rough. Every Mommy will tell you that. You are not doing anything wrong. Just have faith that in the next 3 weeks or so it should get better. If it starts to happen in the daytime too then I would definitely talk to your doctor, the formula could be too harsh for her belly.

Re: struggling new mommy

Oh boy, I'm not too far removed from the days of non-stop screaming. I know how hard it is
For us, it ended up being a milk allergy, so once we figured that out, it all cleared up, but I do know what it's like. Hang in there. It DOES get better. I'd try the mylicon drops if you haven't yet. And maybe talk to the ped. about switching formulas

Re: struggling new mommy

A few people mentioned it -- but I wanted to chime in that I've read this as well -- that a lot of colicky babies have a "witching" hour and they are screamers at night. I heard it gets considerably better at 6 weeks. I have also heard of people switching formulas (or BFing moms modifying their diet) and it helping out as well.

Hopefully it'll ease up at around 6 weeks and keep in mind that you don't have much longer to go until then!

I'd also recommend napping as much as possible when the baby naps during the day, so that you can get some rest in as well.

Re: struggling new mommy

Ahhhh, the memories. Trust me, I KNOW what you're going through. My daughter was collicky for the first 6 months of your life, and no matter how well you think you're prepared, there's no way you can EVER prepare yourself for something like that! It was the hardest, most trying, difficult 6 months of my life and I'm suprised I didn't end up fleeing the house and travelling to mexico, or get a divorce, but we made it through... I know if feels like it will never end, but it will...

BUT, with that said, I don't think your baby has colic. Most newborns go through a "witching hour" - a time of day when they get super cranky and there's just no consoling them. That's not colic, just normal newborn behavior and it usually starts at around 5pm, and lasts a few hours. There are a lot of theories - gas, reflux, immaturity of the digestive system, etc... there are a few things that can help, like keeping baby close to you - maybe use a baby carrier and walk around the house, take baby for a stroll outside (sometimes distractions help), swaddle baby, use a baby swing, lay baby on your forearm facing down with his head in the palm of your hand (pressure on the belly helps if it's gas) or pump his legs... try out a few different methods, and you may find something that helps, but likely nothing that will eliminate it entirely. Unfortunately, it's really only something that will go away with time...

Re: struggling new mommy

I would agree with the Happiest Baby Book, its a great tool just for learning about babies and their 12 months of gestation.

When Noah was born I never in a million years thought that I would make it to 12 weeks, then I didn't think we would make it to 16 weeks...now at almost 8 months, I can't believe we made it at all!!!

Hang in there, it will get better!!!

Re: struggling new mommy

thank you so much for all of your replies. it is such a relief to know that so many other mommies have gone through this... and survived!!

we have actually tried all of the suggestions posted- from holding her in different positions, to the white noise machine. sometimes they work, somestimes they seem to make her worse. but we keep trying!!

she is BF exclusively, so I really limited my dairy intake, no gassy veggies either. she definitely has a lot of gas- my poor girl!

I have tried the Mylicon drops once or twice- how often should they be used? at every feeding?

our next ped. appointment is next week, so we'll see if she has anything to say. but I have a feeling she'll just tell us to hang in there- DD will grow out of it eventually.

as you all know, this is supposed to be such a wonderful time (and a lot of the time it is!), but the nights are so very very difficult. but we'll make it! thanks again for your support ladies. i need it desperately!

Re: struggling new mommy

I have no advice to add other than what others have said. I know that feeling-I'm not a good mom b/c I can't soothe her- but that's so wrong. There is only so much you can do. Just holding her and loving her and telling her you love her is the best thing for her.

Re: struggling new mommy

My understanding and from what my doc said is you should use the drops with every feeding. They work best with consistency.

Re: struggling new mommy

Posted by Jamie

My understanding and from what my doc said is you should use the drops with every feeding. They work best with consistency.

Message edited 8/29/2006 2:11:36 PM.

Re: struggling new mommy

Ahhh...I remember it well. My son had colic for 6 months. Cried like a banshee every night from 8:00-???. We just basically grinned and beared it with the help of Mylecon drops, Alimentum formula, rocking and "shush-ing", and warm baths. None of this really did anything. They really just need to "grow out of it". Their digestive systems are for the pits and it's just how their little belly's process food.
Many for the next few months. But do know...it gets better! My little one is now 14 months...goes to sleep awake at 7:30 and sleeps through until 8:00 am. Ahhh...heaven. If only my 4 and a half year old would do the same!