Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Okay, I have been very emotional lately, but I don't think I'm overreacting here. I am having the hardest time getting DH to even discuss doing work on the baby's room. I am 30 weeks now.

We definitely need to scrape and repaint the moldings in the room. He wanted to keep the paint and border the previous owners had (it's cute, meant for a boy which we are supposed to be having), but I really would like something fresh and new for our baby.

He's feeling overloaded right now--we bought a house recently, and he has been doing a lot of other work, though IMO, much of it could be put off till after the baby. So I keep trying to ask him if we should hire a painter to do the room, or should I ask my friends to help us out. He just keeps putting off the discussion. This is really bothering me. He also took 0 interest in the baby registry and the items we chose, and I had to nag him into crib shopping.

He seems to feel we have lots of time, but I just don't feel like I can really relax until this room is finished. I also just can't seem to get it through his mind that yes, the baby could very easily come earlier than expected, and we may not have 9-10 weeks to do everything we need to do.

Sorry this is long, I'm just getting frustrated and need to vent. Any suggestions for ways to get him moving? Has anyone else had this problem?

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

I feel your pain....Im only 26wks but we have to finish the basement move everything from the baby room down there gut the baby room and get it ready...all my baby stuff is at my grandmas right now...its soo depressing, I had a break down a couple wks ago and DH started working a little more on it but its no where near done...
not sure what you can do to get him moving cause I havent had a whole lot of luck, just wanted to let yuo know you are not alone!!!! we have no where to put this baby once its born at the present time :(

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Well I can't help you because I'm due in mid-November, my shower is this weekend, the funiture is coming by mid-October, and the Bow Flex is still up in the baby room. I keep asking him to take it down and he tells me to let him worry about it.

So he will be painting the week that the furniture arrives...meanwhile we will have a ton of baby stuff just laying around waiting to be organized.

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

You have FM!

Message edited 9/26/2007 8:43:06 AM.

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Just try to voice your concerns with him that you want everything finished in time for the baby. If he is stressed, try not to bother him about it but just talk to him about your concerns

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Can you just start doing things without him? Like calling painters for estimates and having them come when he is home? maybe if you just get the ball rolling yourself, he'll see that you mean business!

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

The only thing that got my hubby was going, was when we got the call that the furniture was coming, so he rushed and did it in 2 days, LOL.

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Thanks for the messages! While I'm sorry others are going through this, it's good to know my DH is not the only one dragging his feet.

I think I need to sit him down and plan out projects that really need to get done around the house before the baby is born and stress how anxious I feel that we do not have a room ready for the baby at this point. If he can't commit to a date, then I'll just pick out the paint myself and ask my friends to come do the work. That will probably get him moving.

It is odd--he is happy about the baby in other ways, but he doesn't seem to realize that the baby could come early.

Then again, we are picking up the crib this weekend, and it is supposed to be in stock. Maybe that will get him motivated?

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

It pretty much took me crying for him to move his butt. I was just so overwhelmed with everything and upset about certain things, and let him know we only really have 6 or 7 weeks to do stuff (since I'm having early c-section). The nursery is our hobby/sports room right now, so most of the stuff is his and he is a BIG TIME procrastinator! While he was away on business I organized the closets so I felt like SOMETHING was being done.

This week he FINALLY started taking things off the wall. And we picked a paint last night. So it's a small dent, but it's something.

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

I will be 30 weeks on Sunday. We closed on our new place 8/24 but still haven't moved in. Tomorrow night I am going there to paint the master bedroom and on Sunday (with or without him) I am moving out of my MIL's house and into our place.

I am hoping that those actions will convince DH that it is OK to wait to touch up a wall that has imaginary ceiling paint splatter on it. If not, we will be living apart until he gets it together.

Re: Suggestions? How to Get DH Moving with the Nursery?

Well, I feel a little better now between your posts and what my OB-GYN had to say. I mentioned DH was taking his time with the nursery in the appt., and she asked if I think he is in denial. She said a lot of her patients tell her that the dads don't seem to realize that yes, there will be a baby very soon. The mothers-to-be tend to plan and prepare far earlier than the guys usually do, so this creates some friction. She said usually it hits them shortly before the birth, and they will scramble around finishing everything.

This made sense to me. After thinking about it, I would say DH is in some denial, not about the baby being born at all, but that the date is coming up very soon.

Just thought I'd share that this is pretty common, unfortunately!