Re: Summer School Question

Message edited 6/25/2010 5:50:39 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by Karen

Posted by Jennie0898
Is it possible just for the week that you are away you can have him stay with his mother that week?

This is what I was thinking also. While I agree that the rest of the family shouldn't be punished, I think at his age there should be serious consequences for failing a class.

Re: Summer School Question

Message edited 11/27/2011 5:13:46 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

I would check with the school district. I know for a fact that in some school districts middle school summer school is optional because the children are not earning credits yet as they are in HS. Also, I agree with the others about staying with his mother. I see this as similar to students going on a cruise during the school year after the regular school vacation. It is a tough situation but I think he needs to learn a lesson.

ETA: I am a teacher and I have to say I disagree with the guidance counselor's advice. Visiting a college campus when you are in 7th grage going into 8th grade is ineffective. It is too much of a distant future to make an impact on their lives. JMO

Message edited 6/25/2010 7:16:44 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

I do not think you will get the district to waive the attendance requirement, even with the offer of a tutor. I've taught summer school for 8 years and the only waivers I've seen have been in the case of extreme illness (i.e. appendicitis and emergency surgery).

There is a possibility that because it is a middle school class the counselors can actually advance him. I've seen it done in my school even though the students did not pass (in this case they were ESL students). I would try to advocate for that, but you will have to do it rather quickly as most counselors finish on Tuesday.

If this fails, I would have him stay with him mother while you cruise. It's a bad situation but I think education must come first.

Re: Summer School Question

Message edited 6/25/2010 8:21:08 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

For those saying to push for him to be passed into 8th grade even though he failed a class and then go on the cruise, I think this is sending completely the wrong message. He will think a vacation is more important than school and that he can get away with not doing well.

I don't know the OP's entire situation, but I think having him stay with his mother would be the best option, if it is a viable one.

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by heathergirl

I don't think he should be rewarded for failing.

I think it may do him a disservice by thinking that even if he screws up and fails, he will not suffer the consequences.

Assuming the school even lets you get a tutor to make up the days, thats one thing. But I would be more concerned with the lesson that I am teaching him regarding his responsibility to do well in school.

It's a tough spot and there's no easy answer, but my gut tells me that if it were my child, he'd be staying in summer school w/his bio mother.

Re: Summer School Question

I personally don't think 7th grade science is important. I don't remember anything from 7th grade science. I do remember all my family vacations-wonderful memories.

I passed classes in middle school though but in High school I was in summer school (math/science) every year except one year I had mono and missed summer school so I THINK I had to pass the regents with 65 by the following year or take two sciences (I missed study period or something) ??

It worked out fine. I went to community college first though. I got As and Bs. I then transfered to two different universities, first for Bachelors and then for Masters. I am now a licensed professional. ;o)

That was 10 years ago, not sure how things are today but there has to be a way but only you can find out and it has to be according to your own priorities. I do understand how others say education first and I would be concerned somewhat but also know that 7th grade is hard on so many levels. Is he a good kid overall? Does he need harsh punishment-would it help him learn? I'd also consider the rest of his grades.

The worst case scenario- being left back? My brother was left back in 12th grade!!! Of all years! It helped him mature, he went to some college and now has a great career.

Re: Summer School Question

Re: Summer School Question

I am a teacher. The policy is correct. However you can opt not to go to summer school and repeat the course next year as an 8th grader in a 7th grade class. Some may say he failed he should get the consequences....yes I agree but repeating it as an 8th grader is also a consequence.

I have a lot of kids I have sent to summer school (9th/10th) do this for various reasosn: vacations, summer jobs etc.

If it was me I would go on the cruise that you had planned with the whole family but I would make him repeat the whole year for science.

JMO

Tough decision

Re: Summer School Question

Re: Summer School Question

He needs to step up to the plate, take ownership for his actions and face the consequences. No trip. Too bad. Sorry, I'm mean like that. But then again, I had the kind of mom that didn't let me have a day off from school because I was out late the night before. Her words: Deal with it! And I did.

And to those who think 7th grade really isn't life altering and you don't learn much...school is much more than learning facts. It's about learning responsibility, that actions have re-actions, time management, and a plethora of other things. Kids need to learn that mommy and daddy will NOT be able to fix every problem that is created. Sorry, I am just tired of excuses and the lack of personal responsibility that kids these days have. At some point, kids need to face the consequences. It's tough, it's sucks, but it's LIFE!

Look at it this way: if you don't work, you don't get paid, right? Well, if he didn't do the work, should he still get paid?


To the OP: I understand your dilemma in terms of this most likely being the last trip with the grandparents. And part of me thinks that in 10 years, you will regret your decision to have him miss the cruise, because, in all honestly, family and those memories are most important. So please don't think those feelings are going unnoticed. But another part of me thinks that maybe this might be the kick in the a$$ he needs and HE'LL regret not doing what he needed to do to ensure he would have those memories.

In the future, if you have any summer plans, tell the kids that they are contingent upon school grades. No pass, no go.

Message edited 6/26/2010 10:19:30 AM.

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by dbleplay17

I am a teacher. The policy is correct. However you can opt not to go to summer school and repeat the course next year as an 8th grader in a 7th grade class. Some may say he failed he should get the consequences....yes I agree but repeating it as an 8th grader is also a consequence.

I have a lot of kids I have sent to summer school (9th/10th) do this for various reasosn: vacations, summer jobs etc.

If it was me I would go on the cruise that you had planned with the whole family but I would make him repeat the whole year for science.

JMO



Tough decision

Re: Summer School Question

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by dbleplay17

I am a teacher. The policy is correct. However you can opt not to go to summer school and repeat the course next year as an 8th grader in a 7th grade class. Some may say he failed he should get the consequences....yes I agree but repeating it as an 8th grader is also a consequence.

I have a lot of kids I have sent to summer school (9th/10th) do this for various reasosn: vacations, summer jobs etc.

If it was me I would go on the cruise that you had planned with the whole family but I would make him repeat the whole year for science.

JMO

Tough decision

Message edited 6/26/2010 3:55:40 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by Karen

Posted by dbleplay17

I am a teacher. The policy is correct. However you can opt not to go to summer school and repeat the course next year as an 8th grader in a 7th grade class. Some may say he failed he should get the consequences....yes I agree but repeating it as an 8th grader is also a consequence.

I have a lot of kids I have sent to summer school (9th/10th) do this for various reasosn: vacations, summer jobs etc.

If it was me I would go on the cruise that you had planned with the whole family but I would make him repeat the whole year for science.

JMO

Tough decision

If you don't mind me asking - since 8th grade is an assessment year for Science, how does that work?? He wouldn't take the 8th grade assessment until he's technically in 9th grade? How can that be? Or does he take 7th & 8th grade science simultaneously?

Re: Summer School Question

I would NOT let the kid go on the cruise. Sorry I guess I am a hard azz too.

BUT - if he does go on the cruise, I think he should have homework or studying to do for at least an hour or 2 a day in the room. Not at the pool and it should be checked with a fine tooth comb by his father each night to make sure the work is complete.

Re: Summer School Question

Posted by IrishEyes

Thank you everyone for the input. I appreciate the responses to my question.

Unfortunately as life, this is not a black and white situation. I completely agree, as does my husband; that my ss needs to and deserves to be in summer school. We too are also torn, but this is a cruise that is a year in the making, fully paid for, and quite possibly the last group vacation to be taken with the kids grandparents.

My husband is divorced and that situation isn't the easiest. We have spoken to ss numerous times about school, we have helped him study, work on projects, bought new folders to organize his work and on and on. My husband has spoken to his son's mother a few times throughout the year - trying
to stress the importance of school and where sports and 'extras' should be secondary to grades and homework. Unfortunately most of it falls on deaf ears, because somehow she always makes everything about her and not the kids. She doesn't want to hear it because he is 'attacking' her.

We went to the school and spoke with the guidance counselor (as well as the teachers) and the guidance counselor told us that we should take him to a real college campus and have him look around. It will give him incentive to work harder if he knows that hard work will bring him a nice college campus experience - he also said, "what are we talking about a few missing homeworks and a couple of failed tests? He'll be fine, the school year is early"

I am not in any way, blaming everyone for SS failing this class. I think he is more than capable, but was lazy. We think he should endure summer school, and he will be going, but the question is; how to handle the cruise? Do we have him stay home and miss the family time and experience and memories or do we hire a tutor to make up for the 5 missed days. A lot of money was paid for the cruise and while there is insurance, summer school is not a reason covered by insurance. Who knows yet, but something we'll need to decide and be ok with.

Thanks for the help, answers and support - it is much appreciated!

Message edited 6/27/2010 9:10:50 PM.

Re: Summer School Question

I do not have children but I have to agree with the poster who said that family is more important then anything else. Like you said in one of your posts, it may be one of the lasts vacations the kids will go on with their grandparents & that is very important.
Being someone who has no grandparents left & who had no grandparents at her wedding, it was all those vacation memories that I hold onto.

Re: Summer School Question

I think I may be too soft of a mom.

If my kid failed.. I'd take away his privileges - games, phones, free time. I don't think I could make him stay home while the whole family goes on a great vacation without him. I get how important school is. I think there is a way to make him 'get it' too - without depriving him of a family vacation. I mean - if it was a trip with his friends to Great Adventure - he'd stay home. OR if you'd set out early on that a consequence of this failure would mean that he couldn't go on the cruise - he'd obviously stay home. However - if I never tied the cruise to school performance then I would not feel right making it part of the punishment at this point.

Me? I'd see if there was anyway to get him through with a tutor and the promise of passing the final with the extra missing days. If they say no - I'd talk to SS and lay it out. I'd say - you can stay home with Bio Mom and do the summer school - or you can come on the cruise. If you come on the cruise you are going to be repeating this science with 7th graders while all your friends are in a different class. Let him help shoulder the responsibility for the choices he made. That's just my opinion though!

Good luck!