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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
I am so upset--and I'm hoping this is a safe place to vent about it (although people have jumped down my throat before  ).
My DD was doing pretty well in daycare. She started on August 11th and has been going every since. She's 9 months old.
At first, the biggest obstacle was her sleep schedule. She wouldn't nap at daycare because was not used to all of the noise. But after about 2 weeks, that started to get a little better, and while the naps were NEVER as long as they were at home, at least they were something.
All of a sudden, now that DD can crawl and stand up in her crib, she's taking 15-minute naps at daycare. She's there for 8 hours, and her nap sheet sometimes says that she took 2 15-minute naps 
She's been MISERABLE this week. She's so tired when she gets home around 4pm that I put her right down for a nap. Problem is, she'll sleep for an hour, wake up STILL exhausted, not want to play or do anything else because she's still tired, and we wind up putting her to bed for the night around 6.
I never see her anymore 
I just keep asking myself if I can really do this to her anymore. Yes, she LOVES daycare for the social aspect, but I know that her sleep habits are being formed NOW, and I can't help but think...does it make sense to leave her in daycare, where she can't sleep comfortably, so I can go to a job that I can't stand? And where my paycheck is so small that 50% of it goes to daycare?
I went in to pick her up today and she was trying to sleep in her crib...but two babies were screaming their heads off. She had dark circles under her eyes and was just staring off into space
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Posted 9/30/09 9:43 PM  |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Is it possible for you to stay home with her? Can you afford to lose that 50% of your income that you are taking home? Is there something else you can do to make up the income, maybe tutoring?
If its doable I say 100% stay home!
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:48 PM |
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jes81276
summer fun!
Member since 3/06 4962 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
if you can afford to stay home, then I would. however, I guess what you have to think of is the long term....are you okay with giving upwhat seniority, etc. that you have? that would weigh heavily on my decision. I would not want to give up tenure, job security, etc. unless I absolutely had to.
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:52 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Posted by JandJ1224
Is it possible for you to stay home with her? Can you afford to lose that 50% of your income that you are taking home? Is there something else you can do to make up the income, maybe tutoring?
If its doable I say 100% stay home!
DH doesn't think we can do it. I was out for most of the year last year when I had back surgery...and it was tight, but at least I was getting some money from disability.
I think I could probably pick up some tutoring jobs and compensate that way...
...but of course, there's the whole issue that I don't really have a "desk job", and leaving my job now would essentially mean abandoning 23 kids who are used to having me as their teacher... 
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:52 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Posted by jes81276
if you can afford to stay home, then I would. however, I guess what you have to think of is the long term....are you okay with giving upwhat seniority, etc. that you have? that would weigh heavily on my decision. I would not want to give up tenure, job security, etc. unless I absolutely had to.
I teach in NC. We don't have tenure, and seniority...they don't seem to do THAT here, either.
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:54 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
I've been pretty much crying since she went to bed because I am just destroyed over this. 
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| Posted 9/30/09 9:54 PM |
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Michmouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1260 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Awwww
I feel your pain! I do not want to teach either and the thought of returning to work makes me heart sick..... I used to love my job.. Now I just want to be home...
I hope you will soon figure out a way to deal with all of this...could you possibly find someone to watch the baby at home until she is a bit older? Daycare is a great option but maybe she needs to be in her own home a little longer?
Teaching is the best job for a mommy...not only because of the hours and vacations but also because you are an excellent role model for your child.....Teaching is a work of heart.
I hope you are feeling better.
Message edited 9/30/2009 10:10:36 PM.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:06 PM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
If you could make your 50% working a part time job after your DH got home or on the weekends, then I say stay home.
There is no way in NYC that I could make 50% of my salary "off time" I thought about it! I wish I could!
Would you consider doing child care? I don't know what you could charge in NC for a child, but it is worth looking into.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:08 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
I'm so sorry! 
I go back to work in November and I am dreading the transition. I never thought I would l would love staying home as much as I do. I have no words of advice but just lots of
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:11 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice because I'm in the same boat with DD and her napping at daycare, or lack thereof. Unfortunately, you can't force a kid to sleep. I was told I needed to give her a couple of weeks to adjust and her nappng would get better. Well, she's been in daycare now for 3 months and if possible, her naps are WORSE. She's 8 months old and she's now down to 1 nap a day in daycare of no longer than 20-30 minutes. She is MISERABLE when we get home. Unfortunately, it's just something I have to deal with.
Some kids just don't do well sleeping in an active environment.
Is it possible to find a babysitter/nanny type person to watch your DD at home?
ETA: I'm not a teacher
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:15 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Posted by BigB
If you could make your 50% working a part time job after your DH got home or on the weekends, then I say stay home.
There is no way in NYC that I could make 50% of my salary "off time" I thought about it! I wish I could!
Would you consider doing child care? I don't know what you could charge in NC for a child, but it is worth looking into.
I have been looking into other avenues that would allow me to be home for a good part of the day. The most obvious one to me would be Sylvan--I worked there for 5 years when I lived in NY and absolutely LOVED it. The hours are a little more suited to the situation...I'd be teaching from 3:30-7:30 and on Saturday mornings from 9-1. I haven't contacted them yet, but I'm pretty sure the pay is much less than what they paid in NY.
I did consider possibly watching another child, but it just doesn't feel like a good option for me...
I have lots to think about. In reality, I am MISERABLE at this new school, and that is making this situation so much worse.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:16 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Posted by MrsRbk
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice because I'm in the same boat with DD and her napping at daycare, or lack thereof. Unfortunately, you can't force a kid to sleep. I was told I needed to give her a couple of weeks to adjust and her nappng would get better. Well, she's been in daycare now for 3 months and if possible, her naps are WORSE. She's 8 months old and she's now down to 1 nap a day in daycare of no longer than 20-30 minutes. She is MISERABLE when we get home. Unfortunately, it's just something I have to deal with.
Some kids just don't do well sleeping in an active environment.
Is it possible to find a babysitter/nanny type person to watch your DD at home?
ETA: I'm not a teacher
Hey Michelle, I know you've been going through this as well. Her naps have DEFINITELY gotten worse instead of better. And what bothers me the most is that I know that she CAN nap, because she was napping very well in the weeks right before I went back to work.
I just can't help wondering...why am I putting her through this to go to a job that I can't stand? I used to love teaching, but not at this new school.  And especially not under these circumstances.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:18 PM |
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mrandmrs12
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1687 total posts
Name:
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
I think it is the hardest thing in the world to be a mommy and work.
I work in a school also. I was able to sta y home with DS till about 5 months, then went back for a year, and now an taking this year off. Things just didn't go well for a few reasons when I was working.
Now i am sooooooooooooooooooooooo happy being home. DS and I are best buddies!
BUT, I have to say that I thought I could make money by tutoring, workign for agencies, etc...... it is NOT going well and I am extremely stressed about money every day. It is making me enjoy being hom ewith DS less, to be honest.
SO..... if you can find a way to make the money work without it being ridiculously stressful, then i say stay home! I know it's hard to leave in the middle of a school year - maybe you could ask for a leave starting in january after the holidays? Not sure how your district works.... in mine we are allowed to ask for up to two years leaev PER child. We are so lucky that we are teachers and can do this!
Good luck!!!!!! You're not alone feeling so bad
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:18 PM |
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mom2boys
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 315 total posts
Name:
marie
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Sorry for what you are going through. I finishing up my degree in teaching, and been working in daycare while I finish my schooling, but anyway i was wondering if they have set nap times at the daycare? alot of times the children all sleep at the same time or close to the same time and in NY the ratio is 4:1 so if the children werent on the same schedule their was only 3 children for the teacher(person in the room) to deal with and it was easy for that one child to sleep. they wouyld take the child away from the crib, so they werent crying in the sleeping child's face. I would ask some questions at your daycare and if you have any daycare questions feel free to ask me.
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| Posted 9/30/09 10:19 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Teacher moms with young kids...can you talk me down from the ledge please?
Posted by MrsRivera
I just can't help wondering...why am I putting her through this to go to a job that I can't stand? I used to love teaching, but not at this new school. And especially not under these circumstances.
I think this statement says it all.....you're right, why put her through this if you are BOTH miserable. And the not napping thing makes it all the more worse, I know... I get it. That's part of the reason why I switched my hours to PT so I don't get 5 days a week of spending 45 minutes with my kid before bed and with her being miserable for those 45 minutes. It was just breaking my heart.
I say, if you can swing PT work, then make that change. Now, I only deal with a cranky baby 2 or 3 days out of a 7 day week. (my MIL watches DD everyother Monday).
I hope something works out for you soon!
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| Posted 10/1/09 9:24 AM |
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