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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I'm too upset to even type.... it just all dawned on me these last few days that its been over a year since my consultation with the RE. I should be home with my 3wk old now... yet instead I'm waiting on results of all the thrombo/immune/etc testing to come back and hoping to get approval to start IVF.
I don't say this often, but I'm starting to feel so terribly sorry for myself. Hardly anyone goes through a loss at 17wks....... Why me?!  The last cycle's chemical really threw me over the edge too. 5 mins of happiness. Really?!?! Seriously?!?!
Sometimes you just have to take a step back and scream WHY?!?! But then I feel so selfishly guilty because I should be so grateful for everything in life I DO have .. rather than dwelling on the one thing I don't 
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Posted 2/7/11 6:56 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
i cant imagine what you go through on a daily basis... but it just about broke my heart when you said you had a chemical...
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:02 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough day, but you're certainly allowed to feel this way. Let yourself feel sad, angry, cheated..whatever it is that you're feeling. You're allowed to yell and scream and punch some pillows. It isn't fair, and IF s*ucks more than anything. Just remember that after you're finished having a bad day, you're a super-strong woman who is going to pick herself up and keep moving forward until you get to the prize at the end of this long, painful journey.
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:12 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
We have all been there.... you're allowed
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:13 PM |
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MrsG72907
Mommy of 2 girls!
Member since 5/10 2046 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Posted by PennyCat
Sometimes you just have to take a step back and scream WHY?!?! But then I feel so selfishly guilty because I should be so grateful for everything in life I DO have .. rather than dwelling on the one thing I don't
i was thinking the exact same thing today.
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:17 PM |
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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I'm so sorry you've had a rough day! This whole thing can be horrifying at times.
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:23 PM |
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angel333
Sigh.....
Member since 3/10 1803 total posts
Name:
AKS
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I am so sorry you are having such a bad day You have been through so much in a very short period of time. It's been very hard on you but you are one of the strongest women I know. You were able to bounce back on your feet very fast and start trying again. And if every now and then you feel down like you do today it's totally understandable and totally acceptable. We're all here for you and we totally understand your pain
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:25 PM |
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Daisy21
My Little Loves
Member since 6/10 1133 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Just sending you hugs!
I've been thinking about you
I sure hope you get good news about the IVF
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:27 PM |
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MrsDeVito
Gio's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 7/09 4671 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:28 PM |
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classc1
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 805 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
So sorry that you are feeling this way. As everyone has said, you have been through a lot. Losing a baby at 17 weeks is a horribly traumatic experience and I can't imagine your pain. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to have these feelings. I hope you feel better soon
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| Posted 2/7/11 7:30 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Thanks everyone, fortunately I don't get like this often because I don't allow myself to stop and think. It's the thinking that gets so darn depressing Once you stop and take it all in ........ it's all down hill.........
I hope Dr.B has some answers for me with the latest testing.. and most of all .. I hope I get approved for IVF. Usually I'm in the middle of a cycle or at least know where I'm going next. Now I know nothing.. I'm just waiting..... After a year of infertility, I feel like we're starting from square one. Suddenly I feel like I know nothing.
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| Posted 2/7/11 8:07 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Oh sweetie I wish I could hug you right now.
You are entilited to scream, be angry and throw a pity party for yourself- you have been through a horrible horrible ordeal that NO woman should be faced with. Life is so unfair sometimes and you do NOT deserve any of this.
I pray that IVF gets approved ASAP and you are on your way to a BFP and finally healing. I know it will happen for you, and you know it too. 
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| Posted 2/7/11 8:41 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Im so sorry you have to go through this. I think about screaming everyday. I just want to know why! Why am I going through this and when am I going to get my baby? Im praying for you and hoping you get approved for IVF soon so you can be on your way.
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:01 PM |
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curiousO
he is here.. thank you God
Member since 10/07 2344 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
awwwww.. i think and hope that it will get easier once you start next cycle. being in-between cycles, waiting and not acting is the worst
sending you prayers for very soon BFP
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:12 PM |
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SKPtzu
Oh boys
Member since 6/08 1388 total posts
Name:
SKPtzu
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:19 PM |
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Champ
2 little ladies
Member since 1/11 2918 total posts
Name:
Rose
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
oh you should scream and kick all you want. none of us should have to go through this. especially at 17 weeks. I can't imaging that. nor do I think anyone should, but we have all been delivered these circumstances that we never imagined ourselves encountering.
I spent this weekend kicking and screaming, and I started bleeding from my miscarriage today. I'm now looking at this as a step forward, a place to start a new.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and please kick and scream, feel angry, sad and disappointed.
I hope you find a place of rest and rejuvenation to give you the strength to go forward with a smile.
sending hugs hoping all of your dreams come true :)
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:36 PM |
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cowgirlkate
Twins times TWO!
Member since 1/11 1197 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Have your "Why ME!?!" moment...You deserve that and we all need to do it once in a while. It is SO not fair how difficult this is. But you will make it through somehow...I'm so sorry for all that you have been through...You don't deserve this!
And thats why we are all here for each other!
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:37 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
This board is such an incredible support, I honestly don't know what I would do without you ladies!!!
In the meantime ... I have a surprise in my next post ......
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| Posted 2/7/11 9:54 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I'm sorry...I can't even imagine. I had a miscarriage 10 wks after seeing the heartbeat at 7 weeks, so we thought we were out of the woods. It devastated me. I still cry about it. What has helped me was to try to focus on the positive. That I got pregnant, because for so long I swear my body just didn't know how.
Sending you tons and tons of
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| Posted 2/7/11 10:07 PM |
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Irishgrl1017
It happened :)
Member since 9/08 1872 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
You never have to apologize or feel guilty for the way that you feel...you have every right to have all these emotions
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| Posted 2/8/11 6:26 AM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
Dont give up. Think of how sweet it will be when you finally meet him/her.
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| Posted 2/8/11 8:12 AM |
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LoLaBlue
PARTY OF 5
Member since 6/10 6900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
You have been through a lot so its ok to break down once in a while.
We are always hear to listen whenever you feel down or want to vent.
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| Posted 2/8/11 8:14 AM |
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limommer
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 1073 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
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| Posted 2/8/11 8:31 AM |
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RGEC47
Feeling blessed!
Member since 11/09 3039 total posts
Name:
Rosa
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
I am sorry you are having a bad day. You have been through so much so it is completely understandable.
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| Posted 2/8/11 8:39 AM |
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babywish10
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 430 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible.. horrible.. no good.. very bad day
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| Posted 2/8/11 8:54 AM |
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