Thanksgiving Help

My in-laws will probably be joining us this year for Thanksgiving and they don't eat anything on the menu. Let me break it down:

So my usual appetizers for Thanksgiving include: a cranberry/nut baked brie
mushrooms with a chestnut stuffing
vegetable platter with dips
fresh fruit platter

ETA: So I decided to add a spinach dip with rye bread to replace the vegetable platter/dips. Then there will also be the leftover rye bread with dinner. DH didn't want shrimp cocktail or deviled eggs either, so this so far is the only thing I could think of that they might eat.

My family looks forward to these things. However, my in-laws hate brie, hate mushrooms, and very rarely eat vegetables or fruit. So there is nothing really there for them. They are very picky. If they were hosting it would be deviled eggs and a shrimp cocktail. However, there are shrimp allergies in my family and I hate deviled eggs so I don't really want their usual appetizers at my meal. Any ideas?

Then for dinner I wanted to cater the turkey. DH said MIL is going to be pissed and upset over this as it should be home-cooked. What do I say to DH and MIL that would like deal with this problem of a catered turkey.

Then, I make fresh cranberry sauce but they only eat canned. So I will def. have both kinds. Then I make the sweet potato with marshmallow casserole. They hate that. I also make stuffing, but they really prefer sausage stuffing. However, I am a vegetarian and my parents don't really like sausage. Do you think they'll suck it up and eat plain stuffing or am I supposed to make 2 different kinds now? They also usually make mashed potatoes out of a box. I usually do roasted red potatoes. They might actually eat this but I am not sure. They are obsessed with rye bread but I love soft rolls and croissants and other types of bread. We will have 12 guests and they are the only 2 that eat rye bread so I wasn't going to get it.

ETA: I think I'm def. for making two stuffings- 1 with sausage and one without. I am hoping they will like the roasted potatoes. And now there will be rye bread.

Any ideas for a menu that will please all?

ETA: Thanks for all the ideas!

Message edited 10/24/2014 3:00:10 PM.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

So for the appetizers -

Do they eat any cheese? Is it just brie that they dislike? If so, maybe you can swap in a cheese platter (cheese, nuts, dried fruit, crackers, etc.) for the fresh fruit platter. If you really want to do a fresh fruit platter, can it be part of dessert? A cheese platter would be an easy addition and most people like it.

Shrimp cocktail is also so easy. I know you said that you have shrimp allergies in your family, but are they so severe that you can't risk serving it at all? Maybe you could put it on another serving table, and your inlaws could enjoy it and the people who are allergic could steer clear. If the allergies are an issue, I would just make the deviled eggs, even if I didn't personally like them, f you know some of your guests will enjoy. (Maybe swap out the fruit or veggie platter if the brie and mushrooms are more "special" holiday traditions that your family looks forward to).

Or instead of doing a whole baked brie, I sometimes do baked brie bites in the mini phyllo cups (with the brie, raspberry jam and a pecan). If you get the mini phyllo cups, you could do some baked brie and then something else they would like (mini quiches or something like that)?

As far as catering the turkey, I feel like if you are hosting, you should do what you want. I think it's ungracious of a guest to complain or criticize. However, I host Thanksgiving every year and I've made my life very easy by making two large turkey breasts (because hardly anyone in my family likes dark meat anyway). They are easy to do... I make one ahead of time, and one during the day before dinner, so the house smells like turkey. But a turkey breast cooks more evenly and takes less time than a whole giant bird, and you still get the homemade effect (I do homemade gravy, etc.). So that could be an option. Or, if you don't want to cook turkey at all as a vegetarian, could you ask your mother-in-law to cook it? That way she is included and you don't have to worry about it? I feel like people like to contribute to holiday meals.

With the sides, I would give a little on this. This seems like the easiest piece of it -- just make the sweet potatoes and then make mashed, too (swap out your roasted potatoes). And get some rye bread along with the bread/rolls you like for a wider assortment of bread that will appeal to all.

With the sausage stuffing, can you ask your mother-in-law to make it and bring it? Just say that you know she and the family enjoys it, and it's important to their holiday, but you really don't know how to make it. My grandma is almost 90 and still makes the sausage stuffing that I just heat up in the oven (I add some chicken broth/stock on top if it's getting too dry) and it's delicious. But you can still make your stuffing, and then have MIL make hers. The more food the better on Thanksgiving, I think!

The bottom line is - Yes, guests should be easy and not make demands of a holiday hostess or voice complaints. And I host Thanksgiving and other holidays every year, and I like to make my traditional things. BUT - the most important thing about a holiday dinner is really making sure your guests enjoy it, and that means catering to all of the tastes, preferences, allergies, etc. to some extent. I don't think you should have to completely change your menu to suit your in-laws, but I do think you should make an effort to incorporate some things they like, even if it means switching it up a bit. I try to tell myself that time with family is more important than the "perfect" menu.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

If your MIL thinks the turkey should be "home cooked" perhaps she should cook it .
I can't believe the balls on people.
It's a TON of work to host Thanksgiving. And I actually prefer a catered Turkey because they do it better than I ever can. They are pros.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

Thanksgiving Help

I would buy a ring of shrimp cocktail to make them happy assuming the allergies are adults who are able to manage things for themselves. At least that adds no effort on your part.

For the turkey, if you don't want to cook it yourself then don't. That's something I would let them deal with since it really shouldn't make any difference. If they want to be annoyed then so be it.

As for sides, a loaf of rye bread is easy enough to pick up and if they're staying with you maybe they'll eat it for lunches too. We always have two sweet potato dishes in my family, one with marshmallows and one just halved and baked with some butter and brown sugar. I would make a small dish that way since it's pretty easy to do. I would do the stuffing and potatoes you had planned and hope they will like it.

I think as long as you make an effort to have things that they will enjoy you should be fine. I wouldn't make two of everything just to please them. Not everyone is going to like every dish no matter what. From what you post, it doesn't seem like anything you do will make them happy anyway. GL

Re: Thanksgiving Help

Aside from the turkey thing (too damn bad if she's going to be annoyed)
I think you should make an effort to have things they enjoy at dinner.

YOU might not like deviled eggs, but I'm sure your MIL and FIL aren't the only people out of everyone who like them - so make them, or ask your MIL if she wouldn't mind bringing them to help you out - Or, get a ring of shrimp cocktail - anyone who's allergic won't be touching it .......
A loaf of rye bread isn't a big deal ......it's an extra $4.00 - add it to the table. - These things are not major, difficult things.

Switch up the roasted potatoes with mashed potatoes, OR make a small dish of saussage stuffing along w/ the plain stuffing. Again, you may prefer plain, but your ILs may not be the ONLY people at dinner who would enjoy the saussage stuffing.

Thanksgiving Help

Based on everything you said, I would do the following menu:

Appetizers:
Cranberry/nut Brie
Chestnut stuffed mushrooms
Spinach dip with rye
Sausage balls with cranberry jelly dip (super easy and this will get their sausage in - http://allrecipes.com/recipe/jimmy-dean-sausage-cheese-balls/)

Dinner:
Mixed rolls - if you get them from the bakery you can just get an assortment and have them add a few rye
Catered or homemade turkey - I would do homemade and use one of those Reynolds turkey oven bags it's so easy and comes out delicious!
Mashed red skin potatoes - get your red skins in but please the mashed lovers
Sweet potatoes with marshmallows
Regular stuffing
Canned and homemade cranberry sauces
Herb roasted veggie medley to replace the veggies you missed for apps

I don't think you need to change everything up to appease your picky in laws, but I also don't think you should approach it as YOUR meal. Part of hosting a holiday is making sure you AND your guests will be comfortable and happy.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

I agree with the others.....buy the few items they enjoy...really no extra effort on your part.

I'm guessing the turkey is an issue because you are a vegetarian.

Maybe your MIL would offer then to make it.

I also like Christine's idea about doing a few breasts.

You could also probably get sausage stuffing somewhere too and they wouldn't have to even know it was made someplace.

Thanksgiving Help

I think everyone's suggestions are awesome. I'd include a big jug of wine for you. This way, all of the stress in planning around them will just whoosh away.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

Thanksgiving Help

Go out to dinner !

Message edited 10/27/2014 5:27:49 PM.

Re: Thanksgiving Help

all i have to say is

make what youre going to make and a tray of whatever those people usually eat and call it a day.


as far as the turkey, its the easiest part of the meal IMO. i wouldnt cater it. cater some side dishes for your inlaws and dont tell them its store bought. i would also get shrimp, even if some people in your fam are allergic, its something they can easily avoid, yet please your inlaws. plus its effortless. heck just get a shrimp ring a your local market.