The day from hell: need advice!!

I posted this morning about getting pulled out of spinning class b/c Madison was crying so hard in the daycare there.

Well, we came home and she took a 2 hour nap and seemed to be fine. Her first Music Together class was at 4:00 and we were the first ones to enter the room. She was running around and laughing at herself in the full length mirror there. As soon as class started and other kids started to show up she just kept bursting into tears. I kept having to walk to the side of the room with her to calm her down. She was THAT kid today....I felt like all the other mothers were just staring at us...and then Madison started to bang her head on the ground a few times in frustration (this is a red flag for me....this can't be normal behavior...I'm starting to worry that she may have some issues). She calmed down a few times, but every time she seemed to be happy it was time to switch instruments and she would burst out crying again. We had to leave early at the end of the class when they did "quiet time"...she was just crying too loudly.

I've figured out that she prefers to be alone (she is happiest in her crib...she can play all day long in there....I've created a monster in that she feels safest there)...she doesn't seem to like being around other kids at all.

I need advice. Does this sound like a "stage" or something more? How should I handle this? My first reaction is to keep her away from classes right now, but logically I know that this might make the situation worse. I know I should keep trying, but it is exhausting trying to deal with her when she reacts like this.

eta: I don't think it's my absence that bothers her (like at the gym this morning)...I think the problem is being around other kids...
HELP!!

Message edited 9/17/2008 5:17:01 PM.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

aww, I wish I had some better advice, but honestly, I do not think she will get used to being around other kids unless you expose her to the situation, kwim?

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Could it simply have been a bad day? Teething? Some stranger anxiety?

I think all of those things could be the case, I wouldn't give up on the class...is 4pm a bad time for her? Does she go to sleep early?

As for the banging her head on the ground, I *think* it is normal, a sign of frustration?

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by KateDevine



Could it simply have been a bad day? Teething? Some stranger anxiety?

I think all of those things could be the case, I wouldn't give up on the class...is 4pm a bad time for her? Does she go to sleep early?

As for the banging her head on the ground, I *think* it is normal, a sign of frustration?

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

DS is not "social" per se so I understand. We try to go to GTG. Our house is VERY quiet.

We had company on Saturday and it was inside (vs his birthday in the backyard). We had 4 other kids. From 14 months to 7 and it was loud. DS freaked out.

It took him a while to adjust. I actually removed him from the LR and put him down in his crib when it was quieter.

We all went out to the restaurant for DH's birthday party and he was better with all the noise when we went back to the house.

Otherwise, he does not like to be touched by other kids either. Especially girls.... I am sure that will change in a few years.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by johnsae

Posted by KateDevine



Could it simply have been a bad day? Teething? Some stranger anxiety?

I think all of those things could be the case, I wouldn't give up on the class...is 4pm a bad time for her? Does she go to sleep early?

As for the banging her head on the ground, I *think* it is normal, a sign of frustration?

I'm really hoping it was a bad day. I don't think 4pm is a bad time for her....I mean she was also freaking out at 9:30 am at the gym today, so I don't think I can blame it on time. She does tire very easily and she is in bed right now (she usually falls asleep by 5:30 or 6:00)..

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Has she been in any other classes - or is this Music Together one her first?

I think that she is probably very overwhelmed with the other kids and it's a new environment (both the gym and Music) that it's probably really scary.

Also, I would maybe look into an earlier class. I know that Madison is like Jack with bedtime and goes to sleep early. She may be ready to wind down - and class might be too stimulating for her at that point. I am usually back in the house between 4-4:30 on any given day bc that's when we have dinner and get ready for bedtime.

I def. think you should stick it out though

Message edited 9/17/2008 5:29:00 PM.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by johnsae

Posted by KateDevine



Could it simply have been a bad day? Teething? Some stranger anxiety?

I think all of those things could be the case, I wouldn't give up on the class...is 4pm a bad time for her? Does she go to sleep early?

As for the banging her head on the ground, I *think* it is normal, a sign of frustration?

I'm really hoping it was a bad day. I don't think 4pm is a bad time for her....I mean she was also freaking out at 9:30 am at the gym today, so I don't think I can blame it on time. She does tire very easily and she is in bed right now (she usually falls asleep by 5:30 or 6:00)..

Well, if she is normally in bed by 5:30-6:00, IMO, a class at 4pm is probably too late for her....she probably is used to winding down and maybe it was too much stimulation for her.

I would chalk the gym thing up to stranger anxiety and the fact that the sitter there probably doesn't have to handle someone getting so upset, you know?

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by Diana1215

Has she been in any other classes - or is this Music Together one her first?

I think that she is probably very overwhelmed with the other kids and it's a new environment (both the gym and Music) that it's probably really scary.

Also, I would maybe look into an earlier class. I know that Madison is like Jack with bedtime and goes to sleep early. She may be ready to wind down - and class might be too stimulating for her at that point. I am usually back in the house between 4-4:30 on any given day bc that's when we have dinner and get ready for bedtime.

I def. think you should stick it out though

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by johnsae

Posted by Diana1215

Has she been in any other classes - or is this Music Together one her first?

I think that she is probably very overwhelmed with the other kids and it's a new environment (both the gym and Music) that it's probably really scary.

Also, I would maybe look into an earlier class. I know that Madison is like Jack with bedtime and goes to sleep early. She may be ready to wind down - and class might be too stimulating for her at that point. I am usually back in the house between 4-4:30 on any given day bc that's when we have dinner and get ready for bedtime.

I def. think you should stick it out though

Well, I took some Mommy and Me classes last year/early this year when she was younger....we did something different every week in these classes (yoga with the babies, stroller exercise class, music together), and come to think of it she wasn't great in those classes....but at that time she was so little she would sleep through some of it. I had signed up for the 4pm b/c all the other classes were offered around 10:30 which is her nap time...I don't know what to do.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

If she's teething, she may just not be feeling well.

Also, if she's really not used to being around other kids, it could just mean she needs an adjustment period to get used to them and the new surroundings.

If this was her first Music Together class and the first time she's been in the gym's daycare, it could just be overwhelming for her. Banging her head on the floor sounds like a sign of frustration.

Don't give up on going to either place but maybe don't go to the gym and the Music Together class the same day until she gets used to it.

Kid's are very resilient and I'm sure she'll adjust quickly.

I hope she has a better day tomorrow.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Maybe she just had an off day, I have them sometimes, so do toddlers.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

I think its an off day.

We left our Friday morning class early last week...Josh was acting like a nut. You could tell he just did not want to be there...It carried on till the evening...at the park he wasn't very nice.

next day, back to the same old josh.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Sorry you had a bad day and experience...It IS normal and it does pass...by you continuing to take her to classes where other kids are around! My son was always around my nephew and his cousins. I noticed when we were around other kids that he did not know, he would cry and not want to leave my side. I remember attending Smileyd17's daughters 1st birthday party. We walked into the room and my son turned around..walked back to the door and started crying asking to go bye bye! He did eventually warm up and started acting like his happy playful self. This behavior started to become a pattern and he even did it when it was time to transistion from one activity to another when he attended LiL Gym. It was only when he was with kids he didnt know. I put him in daycare 2 days a week and after 1 week of attending daycare..he was a totally different child~He now LOVES to be with other kids that he does not know and he is fantastic with transitioning from one activity to another. I truly believe that after a few more classes Madison will warm up to being around other kids. Don't worry about something being wrong with her...she is fine and just a normal kid!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by Sweets13

Sorry you had a bad day and experience...It IS normal and it does pass...by you continuing to take her to classes where other kids are around! My son was always around my nephew and his cousins. I noticed when we were around other kids that he did not know, he would cry and not want to leave my side. I remember attending Smileyd17's daughters 1st birthday party. We walked into the room and my son turned around..walked back to the door and started crying asking to go bye bye! He did eventually warm up and started acting like his happy playful self. This behavior started to become a pattern and he even did it when it was time to transistion from one activity to another when he attended LiL Gym. It was only when he was with kids he didnt know. I put him in daycare 2 days a week and after 1 week of attending daycare..he was a totally different child~He now LOVES to be with other kids that he does not know and he is fantastic with transitioning from one activity to another. I truly believe that after a few more classes Madison will warm up to being around other kids. Don't worry about something being wrong with her...she is fine and just a normal kid!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

I'll be honest, Cailen isn't that great with structure. Some kids aren't really ready for classes. I think a more unstructured group setting at an earlier time of day may work better for her.

At this age, with no language skills, they will communicate frustration in many ways - including banging their heads, biting (themselves or others) and of course running and screaming.... I wouldn't worry - this is a funky age!!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I'll be honest, Cailen isn't that great with structure. Some kids aren't really ready for classes. I think a more unstructured group setting at an earlier time of day may work better for her.

At this age, with no language skills, they will communicate frustration in many ways - including banging their heads, biting (themselves or others) and of course running and screaming.... I wouldn't worry - this is a funky age!!!

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

When DD was about 16 months, I took her to Gymboree and it was the first time she was really around other kids...she freaked out! It took about 3 classes for her to feel comfortable. I would say keep trying with the classes and maybe she just needs to get used to the new surrounding.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

I am by no means an expert, but I don't think you should give up. She needs the exposure and pretty soon she will adjust. One day she will have to learn, better sooner than later. Good luck.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

I also don't think you should give up, however Music Together just may not be the right class. We did it over the summer and while I loved it, and DS loves all of the songs, he wasn't always well behaved in class. He didn't cry or anything, he just wanted to run around and play more. For the fall we are doing Tumble Bugs and he LOVES it! He runs around for 45 minutes playing on all of the equipment, we go out for lunch and he's out like a light in the car. It also may be a better style class for your daughter since it's not so much of a group amd more of a free play type of thing.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!

I think it's totally normal behavior. and like Liza said i think because lack of communication, she does what she can like hitting her head. I've seen other kids do it as well. I would try to change the time of the class. But I wouldn't seperate her from other kids. I think it's good for her to be around other kids her age. Although that's awesome that she can play by herself. Can she come over and show Sophie how to?

Seriously though, let me know when you are free. We really should try to schedule a playdate. We're around tomorrow afternoon if you're free.

Re: The day from hell: need advice!!