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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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The end result with my family
I know I wrote bits and pieces here about some issues I was having with my family. It goes back decades but most recently has been them not making an effort to meet Sydnie when she was born (only finally at Thanksgiving), not spelling her name right, not RSVPing to her party, etc.
Well they crossed the line at her party.
Syd took her good morning nap. Partied from 12-2:45 and went for her short nap. At 3:40 I made an announcement in the yard"Cake is out and GORGEOUS take a peek, coffee is done grab a cup, as soon as Syd wakes up we'll cut the cake".
To which my one cousin shouts out snotty "Wake her up. It's her birthday". I politely respond "I am not going to wake her up. She's 1 and needs her nap. She'll be up soon". "Well, *sigh*, it's getting late." I said "If you need to leave that's fine but I am not waking her up".
Well, she stands up throws her arms up and goes "I'm done!" and she, her sister, and her mother leave without saying goodbye. 
(she got there at 2!!!!!! And is a single woman!!!!) Even my friends with babies weren't complaining. Some had to go before cake and I completely understood but this scene was inappropriate IMO.
Needless to say, I sent notes instead of thank you cards, telling them what I thought and I will most likely never speak to my extended family again.  They are just so rude and mean. I don't have any other family and this is who I get. 
Really sad week for me with this. Thanks for listening.
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Posted 9/4/09 8:37 AM  |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: The end result with my family
Well first off just  I'm sorry that they are so stupid. Your cousins and aunt sound like jerks (sorry). I don't know if you'll hear back from them but even if you don't it's FINE because you don't need the drama going forward. And remember that friends are the family you CHOOSE, so let them be the ones who celebrate Sydnie with you!!!
Just because you share a little DNA with people it doesn't mean they'll be kind, pleasant, or "normal". Cut 'em loose and put the energy into your friends and DH's family. I'm sure her party was still a smash, it's no reflection on you that they are idiots
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| Posted 9/4/09 8:46 AM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: The end result with my family
I'm sorry your family acted that way. They were 100% wrong.
But, if I can be completely honest for a second, I think asking people to wait for the cake after the party has already been going on almost 4 hours is a bit much. Although they were wrong in their reaction, I think you were asking a lot of people to hang out for 4+ hours while the birthday girl napped.
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| Posted 9/4/09 8:48 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: The end result with my family
absolutely ridiculous!
sounds semi familiar when my mil told my dh that they were leaving before the cake came out....dh then replied its your granddaughter for goodness sake i think you could stay for the cake dont you think?
same woman that biiiitches bc she doesnt see dd enough (mainly bc the only time she gets to see her is if we go to their house, she has yet to just come by our house for no reason other than to see her granddaughter and blames us  )
so my point to telling you this is (like colette said) just bc certain ppl get the title of "family" doesnt necessarily mean that they will be loving or even civil to you! put your energy and love into those that are there for you the most!
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| Posted 9/4/09 8:56 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: The end result with my family
Posted by Karen
I'm sorry your family acted that way. They were 100% wrong.
But, if I can be completely honest for a second, I think asking people to wait for the cake after the party has already been going on almost 4 hours is a bit much. Although they were wrong in their reaction, I think you were asking a lot of people to hang out for 4+ hours while the birthday girl napped.
I totally understand what you are saying. It was 3:40 when I made the announcement and Syd should have been up by 4 the latest. Other people had to go and that was FINE! It was the scene I felt was ridiculous.
It was my first kids birthday party ever.  Next time I'll do better with time management. My mistake was waiting so long to serve lunch. I waited until almost 2. That was where I went really wrong. Lesson learned 
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:01 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: The end result with my family
Posted by colette
. And remember that friends are the family you CHOOSE, so let them be the ones who celebrate Sydnie with you!!!
Just because you share a little DNA with people it doesn't mean they'll be kind, pleasant, or "normal". Cut 'em loose and put the energy into your friends and DH's family. I'm sure her party was still a smash, it's no reflection on you that they are idiots
This is exactly how I feel but I have been eating poo for so long to keep peace in the family for my mom and sister's sakes. 
No more.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:02 AM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: The end result with my family
Completely rude!! if they had to/wanted to leave, they should have just politely gone over and told you they couldn't stay. No one was forcing them.
And what good would it do you to have a cranky, sleepy baby in front of her birthday cake and all those people.
Sorry you had to go through that. 
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:03 AM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: The end result with my family
Posted by mikeswife06
Posted by Karen
I'm sorry your family acted that way. They were 100% wrong.
But, if I can be completely honest for a second, I think asking people to wait for the cake after the party has already been going on almost 4 hours is a bit much. Although they were wrong in their reaction, I think you were asking a lot of people to hang out for 4+ hours while the birthday girl napped.
I totally understand what you are saying. It was 3:40 when I made the announcement and Syd should have been up by 4 the latest. Other people had to go and that was FINE! It was the scene I felt was ridiculous.
It was my first kids birthday party ever. Next time I'll do better with time management. My mistake was waiting so long to serve lunch. I waited until almost 2. That was where I went really wrong. Lesson learned
I 10000% agreee with you that their scene was ridiculous! And it is sooo hard to plan things at that age.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:04 AM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: The end result with my family
I actually dont think that waiting that long for cake at a first birthday party is long at all! First Birthdays are a big deal and the cake is the best part to watch! You want your baby to be in the best mood possible! But of course understandable is people have to leave.
Their reaction was disgusting and immature. I probably wouldnt speak to them again, or at least for a VERY long time until they all learn how to grow up.
I'm sad for you that a day full of happiness had to be tarnished with childlike behavior.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:08 AM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: The end result with my family
Posted by mikeswife06
Posted by colette
. And remember that friends are the family you CHOOSE, so let them be the ones who celebrate Sydnie with you!!!
Just because you share a little DNA with people it doesn't mean they'll be kind, pleasant, or "normal". Cut 'em loose and put the energy into your friends and DH's family. I'm sure her party was still a smash, it's no reflection on you that they are idiots
This is exactly how I feel but I have been eating poo for so long to keep peace in the family for my mom and sister's sakes.
No more.
Time to change your diet  And no one can make us feel badly about ourselves without our permission!!! (Was that Eleanor Roosevelt? I forget, but it's sooooo true). Exclude them from future events if they don't give you a HUMDINGER of an apology - don't let some misguided sense of family guilty rope you in again. If I had friends who behaved that way they'd be off the list for future celebrations, so don't let these fools take one moment of joy out of your future parties and events.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:14 AM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: The end result with my family
I don't see anything wrong with the timing of your party. Were they there just for the cake or to enjoy family time and to celebrate Sydnie's birthday? What if there was no cake - would they have still thrown a scene?
They acted inappropriately and I am sorry it put a cloud over your party. Your daughter is beautiful and a lot of other people enjoyed her at the party regardless of time 
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:15 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: The end result with my family
I'm so sorry your family acted like that. You will be much better not having to cater their every whim in the future.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:19 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: The end result with my family
Thanks everyone. I love you guys! My family makes me feel so guilty but I am done. We are SO lucky to have other family and very dear friends who are wonderful.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:21 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: The end result with my family
annie you forgot to mention the part where they completely isolated themselves from the entire party (okay so maybe we were guilty of that too  ) but they were family and didn't mingle or hang out at all.
i am sorry she made such a scene. that was TOTALLY unacceptable and uncalled for.
and she missed a truly gorgeous cake and a wonderful rendition of happy birthday!
lots of for you sweetie.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:32 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: The end result with my family
Just from reading what you wrote, I get the impression that she didn't want to be there and was looking for a reason to leave.
Was her "reason" valid? Absolutely not and I think she and her family made fools of themselves.
Maybe she will come to her senses and call to apologize. maybe not, but either wau i hope you still enjoyed your DD's first birthday party.
You only get one!!
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:35 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: The end result with my family
Oh don't you worry. I was too thrilled about the day to let them get me down. It was Monday when it finally hit me.
We had a FANTASTIC time. 
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:39 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: The end result with my family
Posted by headoverheels
annie you forgot to mention the part where they completely isolated themselves from the entire party (okay so maybe we were guilty of that too ) but they were family and didn't mingle or hang out at all.
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Yeah, but that's because they are better than everyone else.
That was their pedestal LB, duh!
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:40 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: The end result with my family
Ugh, Im sorry
Regardless of when the cake was being served....its their Granddaughter or niece !
I know my family would of never complained and understood. They would of waited esp for that SPECIAL moment to see a 1yr old blow out that candle!
Very unfortunate and sorry that it came down to that
Message edited 9/4/2009 9:47:21 AM.
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:46 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: The end result with my family
i'm so sorry your family acted this way. that's horrible
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| Posted 9/4/09 9:55 AM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: The end result with my family
sounds like my relationship with my parents - if oyu ever need hugs fm me....I have been there!
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| Posted 9/4/09 10:17 AM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: The end result with my family
She was definitely wrong. Especially since she didn't even get there until 2
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| Posted 9/4/09 10:20 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: The end result with my family
Unfortunately, you can't choose your family......you're just stuck with what you got. That is why friends are SO special. You get to pick them!!
Sorry they made such a scene. That is SO inappropriate. I would've been so angry I probably would have taken her aside right there and went off on her. Kudos for handling it well. I can't believe they would try and ruin a baby's 1st birthday like that.........how terrible. Hopefully little Sydnie had a great birthday despite that!!! Some people are just awful.
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| Posted 9/4/09 11:08 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: The end result with my family
I am so sorry that happened I see absolutely nothing wrong with your daughter napping - the party went on. If they were in such a rush to leave then I think it would have been absolutely fine for them to politely excuse themselves...say good-bye to everyone and be pleasant. There was no need for that immature departure.
This may be something that mends over time...or it may very well have been the final straw to some awful behavior...whatever the case I am so sorry that this happened at your daughter's party.
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| Posted 9/4/09 11:28 AM |
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dapnkap
Our 3 angels
Member since 7/07 4824 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: The end result with my family
I am so sorry this happened - I hope you didn't let this damper such a special day for you and the rest of your family.
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| Posted 9/4/09 3:35 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: The end result with my family
Family really can be so rude and they feel they can get away with it bc they're family....I'm sorry they acted that way, and don't let them get to you whats most important is that Sydnie enjoyed herself...
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| Posted 9/4/09 3:46 PM |
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