The other side

I was waiting for DH to get home from work yesterday...I heard his car pull up, his door close...then nothing. I figured he was futzing around in the yard or something.

Finally he comes in about 10 minutes later...his face was wet. Turns out he just sat on the front stoop and broke down All the stress of doctors, medicines, money, etc...

I just put my arms around him and hugged him so tight for so long. My heart was breaking

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for the both of you.

I think we sometimes forget their sensitivity in all of this.

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It does really hit them.

My DH shared with me that he felt powerless and often frustrated through our process. He wanted to protect me and just fix the problem. Everything had to be done to ME and he often felt that it was unfair that I had to be the guinea-pig/pin cushion and why couldn't he share some of the burde in a more direct way.

Lisa, you and your DH have been through this battle more times than I can even wrap my brain around I think the fact that you are both going above and beyond what many would be able to do is a testament to your strength and love as a couple. He is not weak for breaking down. You are both so unbelievably strong in your strive to keep pressing on.

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I know how hard this is for him- I have seen my DH struggling. In a way your both lucky. At least he can verbalize what he is feeling and allow himself to be upset. My DH just gets angry and withdraws.

I think its amazing how supportive he is

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OH GOD..that almost made ME cry.

Poor DH....

Im glad he got it out. Its important to not hold it all back as they are told or taught they should.

You are both sooo soooo strong lee!

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They are troopers in all this. It's so hard for them too.

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that made me cry just now..

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That is good that he can express himself to you....

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to both of you!!!!!

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Lisa, the good part is that he at least communicates his feelings. My DH keeps everything inside and NEVER says anything!

Have you guys tried counselling yet? Infertility is so hard to deal with and the yearning to have a child is natural for most, so it is hard to deal with the fact that something so natural needs to be so manipulated! So many factors and too many balls to juggle all at once!

Many & to you both

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I think sometimes we forget it's hard on them too, probably cos most of the focus is usually on us.
to you both

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Lisa you are an amazing couple!!!

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This brought back such memories.

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I am sorry. Sending you tons of

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I feel so bad for the both of you - this struggle can be so overwhelming sometimes. Lot's of to both of you and that this will be the end of your journey.

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It is so great that you guys can communicate on that level. My DH would never let me know his feelings on all this infertility stuff. He just bottles it all up. to you both and I'm so glad he's expressing himself and you were able to comfort him. You need each other now more than ever.

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Thanks everyone...

He usually just b!tches about it, but rarely gets emotional like that concerning IF. He'll hold everything in though, and I guess he just hit overload.

I have been to therapy, but I know he won't go...

I just feel so horrible b/c the problem here is me

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Posted by LisaW

Thanks everyone...

He usually just b!tches about it, but rarely gets emotional like that concerning IF. He'll hold everything in though, and I guess he just hit overload.

I have been to therapy, but I know he won't go...

I just feel so horrible b/c the problem here is me

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Posted by LisaW

Thanks everyone...

He usually just b!tches about it, but rarely gets emotional like that concerning IF. He'll hold everything in though, and I guess he just hit overload.

I have been to therapy, but I know he won't go...

I just feel so horrible b/c the problem here is me

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Well, I just cried a little reading this. First of all this is not your fault! I used to blame myself for all my infertility problems and then it hit me, it's not me it my genes, dna etc. There is nothing that I could have done to avoid these problems. I still see a therapist once a week to help me with all this and I applaude that you are being so proactive with what you can help to control, your mental health. I hate to think that you blame yourself, that breaks my heart.
As for dh, I think it's great that he had a breakthrough. I used to forget how hard this all was on my dh because he put on such a brave face. Just talk to each other. It seems that you both really are best friends in this and I wish you a ton of and happiness.

Message edited 10/27/2006 10:44:08 AM.

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I am so sorry - its good that he is able to talk about it. I didn't realise until recently that DH was having issues - he never really mentioned them

However, like you, and although we have some MF, I do feel the responsibility that we don't have kids and it's awful

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i'm so sorry