Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

The post about the 17 year-old girl committing suicide really got me thinking, and I wanted to find out how the rest of you are handling this.

I have had a weight problem for almost my entire life--my weight started to balloon when my parents got divorced in 1st/2nd grade. My mom was working 3 jobs and trying to finish school, and we ate a lot of terrible foods. I won't point fingers, but I am well aware that part of the reason I'm more than 100 lbs. overweight today is because of the poor nutritional foundation I received as a child.

Now that my DD is on solid foods, I am absolutely DESPERATE to keep her on the right track and to teach her to have a healthy relationship with food--the kind that I wish I could teach myself to have.

Right now, my DD will eat anything you put in front of her. I swear, I could give her fruit salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner and she'd be happy as anything.

What steps are you and your SO taking to prevent the problems that you've been through with your weight? I couldn't bear the thought of my DD being teased and picked on the way I was as a child, and even into my adult life

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I everyday that DD is NOT a picky eater like DS.
I'm grateful DS is active!

My plan is simply to not bring the junk in the house. I want to introduce her to fruits and veggies early.
My DS likes some fruit, but the veggies, forget it!

I plan to eat home a lot. Do the cooking. IF we do go out, it'll be somewhere where maybe we can sub fruit of veggies for the fries.

Little steps like that. I want to enroll both kids in whatever sport/activity they want. I played soccer for years! I got a job in McDs in High School and yep, thats where it all went down hill.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

i want to teach DS moderation. My mom would give me a box of cookies or a box of macaroni and cheese. everything we ate was processed. she hardly cooked. now she says she wishes she could do it all over.

i want to cook more. i wont make DS "finish his plate" but i do want him to eat vegetables. and if he wants a cookie, he can have 2 at most, not a box like i had. i dont want him to be scared of food just understand it. i know people who dont let their kids eat any "junk" food at all. but what happens when they get to school and see other kids eating it and want to try it.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

organic
fresh foods
minimal processed foods
play time over TV time

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

i think about this so often - as NO ONE in our families (except for Emma so far) is thin....

i think that's why i freak out so badly when she won't eat ANYTHING...because i don't want her to be like me and only like the bad stuff (but she won't even eat the bad stuff)...

thank you for this thread - i'm VERY interested in seeing what others have to say!

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I keep my kids active and let them do whatever sports they want to do. I think this is the absolute most important part of the equation. I wasn't encouraged to exercise or do any sports as a child and I never developed an interest in doing anything active.

No soda and any juice is always watered down.

I only send healthy snacks (fruit, pretzels, goldfish, natural fruit roll-ups, etc.) to school, even though a lot of DS's classmates get junk food.

I let them have sweets and other treats in moderation. I don't want them to feel deprived and then go the opposite direction when they are making their own choices someday. My parents always "watched" what I was eating while I lived with them, but when I went away to college I let loose and ate whatever I wanted, and this is when I gained all my weight. I want my kids to learn that it's okay to indulge every now and then but not go overboard.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

Eating disorders and emotional issues happen for a multitude of reasons. There is the replacement for attention and love and lack of healthy options (which sounds like what you are talking about) and there is control issues when other things in life are chaotic (like abusive environments) - I not only grew up with abuse, I grew up with women who controlled my food because of fear of being fat. I was called fat at 6 years old when, looking back - I was a healthy, average weight kid!

I struggled with eating issues until my 20's. At that point, I developed a healthy relationship with food and exercise and removed the emotions and control from it.

That being said, I think the greatest gift you can give your child is to not place any emotions (stress, fear, AND comfort, love, etc) to food.

Instead, have few snacks available and regard food strictly for what it is - a healthy way to fuel our bodies. Don't limit or restrict if the child is hungry and eating what he/she needs, but limit access to food between meals and eating out of boredom.

Don't talk about your weight in front of your child. Don;t talk about food being fattening or the fact he/she is eating too much. Redirect gently with other fun activities.

Talk positively about your bodies - the fact they are healthy, strong, etc.

The only way we can affect our child's health is by leading by example. Talking will do nothing.

We currently have the most obese adults and children because of TV, video games, internet, etc. Encourage healthy choices and activity. Fear of food will not change anything but instill poor self esteem in kids.....

Message edited 3/24/2010 12:43:02 PM.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

We strive to eat organic and less processed food.
I try not to label foods good/bad though. If my kids wants a treat they get it and I have the child that will eat a few M&M's and give the bag to me to save for later. I want to help instill that natural instinct to stop eating when full or a craving is satisfied.
We try to eat meals and snacks.
I am working on limiting fast food meals so that my kids can learn what a more balanced meal is.
I keep them active. Gymnastics, dance, soccer. We get out daily to the rec center, museum, play ground, etc to play. We also have a nice big back yard and a trampoline and when it is nice they love to be outside.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I too, come from an overweight family, and would hate for my son to ever have to worry about his weight.

I detest when DH makes my son chicken nuggets from the frrezer when I am not home, so I try my best to make foods for them to have while I am at work.

My son does NOT eat ice cream, cookies, cake or anything processed a lot, if really ever. Obviously special occasions are an exception, but I am very happy that as of right now my DH prefers fresh fruit over all that crap....

I really try to have him eat the right foods when I can, like fig newtons instead of Oreos and strawberries instead of candy.

He zooms all over the place constantly, so the amount of television he watches isn't THAT big of a deal yet, and spring is here so hopefully we can take more advantage of the weather and be outside more, which is good for all of us!

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I've struggled with my weight since JHS and it sux. DH has also struggled with his weight since childhood so we are going to try our best to show DD that you eat to live not live to eat.

Coming from Hispanic households food is used as comfort and both DH & I were expected to wipe our plates clean. I don't force DD to eat if she's not hungry and I don't force her to finish her plate. We also try to buy organic as much as we can although we need to start being more stringent with this.
I've also stopped frying meat and try cook them in the oven as much as possible.

I also rarely buy junk food anymore where as before we would always have junk food at home now its once in a while. We will buy chips or cookies occassionally but it's not part of our grocery list all the time. I do on occassion allow DD to eat ice cream, cookies or take her to McD's but its far and few in between. I don't want her to feel deprived but I don't want her to look towards food for comfort either.

Also DD is very active. She's constantly in the park or running around. I think a lot of the reasons kids now at days are so overweight is because they are constantly in front of the TV or video games. While she does watch TV she also goes to the park and runs around almost everyday when it's nice.

Believe it or not I pray to God everyday that DD does not struggle with her weight. It's a horrible thing to struggle with and really can affect your entire outlook on life. I think the obsession with weight has only gotten worse over the years thanks to the countless reality shows and the competition kids face now at days.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I am so afraid of this too. I have battled weight my entire life too and I don't want my children to go through what I went through.

So first, I'm starting with me. I have about 100 more pounds to loose too but I'm doing it the healthy way with diet and excercise. My son loves coming with me for my walks.

I'm letting my son eat only until he is full. My parents always forced me to finish everything on my plate. I will never make my son do this. He'll eat if he's hungry. I'm trying to teach him to eat everything in moderation and I always offer him fruit as a snack. Veggies, we're working on. I want my children to be healthy but not obsess over it.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I guess I am kinda opposite. My mom used to restrict everything in the house so when we got things it was like a free for all. I felt like I had to hoard food. Therefore, I don't want to deprive DS of the things. That being said, he has to learn to eat a balanced meal in order to get a treat - you can't just eat cookies for breakfast! I also am trying to eat appropriately in front of him and modeling good behavior. I also feel very important that DS is put into sports at a young age and kept active!

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences.

I know that I've got to lead by example. I know that I need to change the way WE do things in order to be a good example for my daughter (and my son on the way).

I have always wished that I could erase my brain and just start over again. I think if I had the correct relationship with food, things would be so much easier...

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I was a really chubby baby and a chubby child into my teen years...I lost a lot of weight unhealthily when I was around 13 and kept it off since then. I come from a very normal weight healthy family...I grew up never knowing what sugary cereals taste like and think I had fast food on very rare occassions...DH on the other hand comes from a family that has weight and diabetic issues and he has struggled with his weight all the time. He just lost a lot of weight recently and has become obsessed with his weight and food, and I'm on him like a crazed woman to stop talking about his weight and food in front of DD...DD is a chubb and a half..but I am raising her the way my mom raised me...she rarely eats anything that I don't make, therefore I know what is going in her body, and mainly organic..she has not yet had any fast food...do I make a big deal about cookies, cakes, etc..NOOOO I don't want her thining that this is something "forbidden." DH's mom did that and now he literally can binge on cakes, cookies etc...I'm a true believer of everything in moderation and not associating emotion with food!

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

I really really dont want DD to have the struggles that I did as an overweight preteen, teen and now adult. It shaped my whole life and made me not take advantage of certain opportunities. I want her to have a positive body image and be alot more physically active than I was.

I think since she is just starting on solids this has been on my mind alot lately. I am slowly trying to cook healthier for myself and DH and trying to become more active as I know my choices now will affect her. I've made most of the food I give her so far. I plan to not introduce juice or fast food or anything processed for as long as possible. Above all, I want to make physical activity really fun and a part of our normal everyday lives.

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...

Re: Those of you who have struggled with your weight...