Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

DH and I have been talking a lot lately about only having one child - DS.

The only thing is, I feel like part of me will always long for another child... little girl to dress up, go shopping with, etc...

For those of you with only one DC or more than one of the same sex, how did you get over the fact that you or DH will never experience things like what I mentioned above... works both ways - if we didn't have DS, I am sure DH would always long for a son to share his sports and military passions with...

I guess I am just having a hard time letting go of that "dream"...

Message edited 6/3/2009 9:42:26 PM.

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I think for me, before I had DS I always pictured myself dressing up a little girl and shopping for her and whatnot.

Now that I have Jack, and possibly another boy on the way, I can honestly say that I don't care about that stuff anymore. My little girl could end up being a tomboy who hates girly clothes. Then - people always say that a girl stays with you for life, and a boy only until he has his wife, well - I know plenty of girls who are not with their own families but their husbands.

There are no guarantees that even if you tried for a second it would be a girl!

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Posted by Diana1215

There are no guarantees that even if you tried for a second it would be a girl!

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by Diana1215

There are no guarantees that even if you tried for a second it would be a girl!

I know! And I don't want to come off as that I don't love DS - I am in LOVE with him!

I guess I am just sad to give up the possibility of having another...

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I always wanted boys my whole life and after having DD#1, I wanted another little girl, so bad, for her sake. I never had the desire to experience the other side. I had a very hard time having #2 and the thought of not having another was the hard part for me. I got very lucky, I had another and it was a girl

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Posted by Diana1215

I think that we are so brainwashed to think that our sons will leave us someday, so if we don't have a daughter we'll end up all alone. I used to believe that, I don't anymore. I am going to do my best to have the greatest relationship with Jack, and when the time comes, with his future wife.

There are no guarantees in life, and I think we are taught to believe a daughter will be by our side forever - KWIM or am I just rambling?!

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by Diana1215

I think that we are so brainwashed to think that our sons will leave us someday, so if we don't have a daughter we'll end up all alone. I used to believe that, I don't anymore. I am going to do my best to have the greatest relationship with Jack, and when the time comes, with his future wife.

There are no guarantees in life, and I think we are taught to believe a daughter will be by our side forever - KWIM or am I just rambling?!

Maybe this is what is getting to me too... I have older brothers and they have all ditched my Mom for various reasons - army, wives, jobs, etc while I moved around the corner from her...

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I have one DS and two step sons. DH is done, and I think it makes the most sense for our family...

I sometimes long for the what could be... but you never really know what could be whichever way you go...

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I have 3 girls. I never had a desire for a son. My whole life I was around girls. I never had a good relationship with my brother or dad. I feared raising a son. It made me so nervous. I never day dreamed about a little boy like you do about a little girl.

If I end up having another girl- well that would be awesome!!!! I love my girls!

So to answer your question - I will feel 1,00000% complete if I never have a son. Girls are all I know and I am ok with that.

ETA OMg this sounded so anti boy when I read it back. I would LOOOOVVVVE a little boy if that's what's given to me but if it's not then I'm ok.

Message edited 6/3/2009 10:30:04 PM.

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

i absolutely LOVE my 4 boys but i have always longed for a daughter. It's very sad to me that i will never have one but i'm finally at a point in my life where i accept it!

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Posted by Diana1215

My little girl could end up being a tomboy who hates girly clothes. Then - people always say that a girl stays with you for life, and a boy only until he has his wife, well - I know plenty of girls who are not with their own families but their husbands.

There are no guarantees that even if you tried for a second it would be a girl!

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I have two boys and the reality of possibly NOT having a girl has passed my mind many times. The idea of a third is a remote possiblity and even then i may have a boy

I have dealt with in the following ways:

1. I save $$$--with a girl I would be in so much trouble

2. I will learn sports...i will need to if I am going to attend baseball games instead of dance recitals

3. I will beyond spoil any potential nieces I have in the future

4. I will bask in the glory of my gorgeous boys and thank god for my blessings

5. I will save money lol

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

I thought I would be disappointed when I found out that my 2nd was also a boy. And HONESTLY?? For a few moments I did feel a little deflated. No pink hairbows or mani/pedis together.

But I LOVE having boys so much - that even now I sometimes think that if I were to have a 3rd I'd actually WANT a boy.

Sometimes I still get a little misty about not having a daughter.. but I just realize that those disappointments are rooted in dreams about who and how my daughter MIGHT be. I'm thinking long hair to put in pigtails and cute little dresses and girlie parties - and my child could prefer short hair, jeans and baseball themed birthdays.

So I take stock of my blessings and instead of focusing on what I MIGHT be missing - I keep my eyes on the fact that I really lucked out in the lottery of life. I got 2 gorgeous, funny, happy, healthy little men who love me beyond reason. Who's better than me???

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

Before I had DD, i always said I really really wanted both a boy and a girl, because I wanted the experience of having/raising both, as I think they are different bonds and experiences. Once I had DD, I cannot imagine not having a daughter. I think about taking her for a mani/pedi, teaching her about putting on make up, helping her become a strong woman, dating, her having babies one day, etc. I am just overjoyed. Now, I don't care if I have all girls and don't end up with a son. However, I don't really think this is because she is a girl; i think it's just because i'm so in love with her and imagine her growing up and all we will experience together and I feel complete. I think the same would be true if she had been a boy.

At the same time, FH wanted a boy, and as thrilled as he is with DD and loves her to pieces, he still wants a boy "one day". He's not as crazy about the next one being a boy (when we first found out I was having a girl, he said the next one better be a boy) but he says we will keep trying til we have at least one boy because he wants a son.

Re: Those with just one DC or two DC of the same sex...

my first one i wanted a boy and i got it. the second i wanted a girl and i was a little disappointed when i found out it wasn't. but now i couldn't be happier i have two boys!!!!! they play with eachother and are the best of friends!!! and if we have another i would want another boy!!!!!