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To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

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Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Okay, so I am 17 weeks today and have a few more weeks before I am presented with the decision of whether or not to find out the gender of this baby. DH and I are really on the fence. In one respect I want to know and I want to decorate and shop. I want my shower to reflect the gender. In the other, I want to be surprised. When in my life will I ever have this big of a good surprise? I imagine all of the labor and then the declaration of Chat Icon or Chat Icon

Sigh...I told DH that maybe I will take the passive approach and when we have the sono, I WON'T tell the sono tech that we don't want to know. If they assume we want to know and tell us, oh well. If they ask, then we can decide what to say. Leave it in their hands and see what they do.

Oh boy, I'm gonna be a great momChat Icon

Posted 9/5/06 10:34 AM
 
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies

Member since 3/06

2333 total posts

Name:

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

I can only speak from my own experience, but we decided to find out and it was still a wonderful suprise when we found out in the sono room.

Posted 9/5/06 10:48 AM
 

Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Am I silly to leave it up to whether or not the sono tech is sensitive to whether or not we want to know?

I wish I could make this decision but maybe I will feel differently when I am at the sono.

Posted 9/5/06 11:21 AM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

I don't think your idea is silly at all, Juliet.. but I have a feeling that the tech won't tell you the sex automatically - they usually do ask if you want to know since they are cautious of those people who adamantly do NOT want to know. SO basically, they'll STILL leave the ball in your court Chat Icon

Or another idea that I've heard other ladies do -- maybe you can ask the tech to write down the gender on a piece of paper and put it into a sealed envelope.. this way you and DH can decide at another point whether you really want to find out , and can make it a special moment just the two of you?

Message edited 9/5/2006 11:28:01 AM.

Posted 9/5/06 11:27 AM
 

MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom

Member since 10/05

11240 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

we were not going to find out. then at 26 weeks i caved in. it was no fun shopping for yellow and green.

i dont regret finding out.

Posted 9/5/06 11:28 AM
 

Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Posted by FeliciaDP

I don't think your idea is silly at all, Juliet.. but I have a feeling that the sono won't tell you the sex automatically - they usually do ask if you want to know, since they are cautious of those people who adamantly do NOT want to know. SO basically, they'll STILL leave the ball in your court Chat Icon

Or another idea that I've heard other ladies do -- maybe you can ask the tech to write down the gender on a piece of paper and put it into a sealed envelope.. this way you and DH can decide at another point whether you really want to find out , and can make it a special moment just the two of you?



I guess I have heard people complain that the tech just assumed and told them the gender. Maybe now there are more who want to go back to the old fashioned way so the techs are more sensitive.

Hmm... a sealed envelope would be tempting. I would totally peek though.

I guess I will have to wait and see how I feel that day.

Posted 9/5/06 11:29 AM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

When I was pregnant with Jack we decided not to find out and be surprised when he was born. When I got pregnant with #2, we decided to find out. So if you plan on having more than one, you can always do it that way. I like that I know we are having a girl this time for planning reasons.

Posted 9/5/06 1:39 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

The tech always asked me if we wanted to know or not. We didn't find out. It was really fun for family not to know even more than us.

Posted 9/5/06 2:51 PM
 

positivetests
LIF Toddler

Member since 6/06

402 total posts

Name:

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

you know me - find out!! find out!!!Chat Icon

Posted 9/5/06 10:31 PM
 

Samlove

Member since 5/05

4729 total posts

Name:
Shari

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Posted by Juliet

Okay, so I am 17 weeks today and have a few more weeks before I am presented with the decision of whether or not to find out the gender of this baby. DH and I are really on the fence. In one respect I want to know and I want to decorate and shop. I want my shower to reflect the gender. In the other, I want to be surprised. When in my life will I ever have this big of a good surprise? I imagine all of the labor and then the declaration of Chat Icon or Chat Icon

Sigh...I told DH that maybe I will take the passive approach and when we have the sono, I WON'T tell the sono tech that we don't want to know. If they assume we want to know and tell us, oh well. If they ask, then we can decide what to say. Leave it in their hands and see what they do.

Oh boy, I'm gonna be a great momChat Icon




I agrree . BUt I knew in my heart with both kids what I was having and I awas right both times

Posted 9/5/06 10:48 PM
 

KPtoys
I'm getting old

Member since 5/05

8688 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Our 3rd baby and we are going to have another surprise baby. DH announced that Emma was a girl and Jeremy was a boy. MUCH more special of a memory for me than some stranger who has no meaning in my life.

Posted 9/5/06 10:59 PM
 

DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it

Member since 5/05

18602 total posts

Name:
The cure IS worse!

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Posted by Dragonfly75

I can only speak from my own experience, but we decided to find out and it was still a wonderful suprise when we found out in the sono room.



agreed.
I also loved having more time for DH and I to celebrate the sex. If you do it when the baby is born you have no time to yourselves (well not more than a few minutes)

Posted 9/5/06 11:32 PM
 

Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

Posted by positivetests

you know me - find out!! find out!!!Chat Icon



You're a bad influenceChat Icon

Posted 9/6/06 12:15 AM
 

2003fallwedding
SISTERS!!!

Member since 5/05

4317 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

I had to know!!! I wanted to plan the room and get clothes for the baby. I wanted to be organized for when the baby came home.

Posted 9/6/06 8:30 AM
 

partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2

Member since 7/06

7752 total posts

Name:
jeannine

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

everyone has a diff opinion,
mine is..a baby is a gift from God and a gift isn't soppose to be opened beforehand...kind of like a do not open before Dec 25th!
I am having twins and ponder with finding out but I won't.
I also have two other kids and these two are def the last ones. I wanted it to be a surprise for my kids too.

good luck!Chat Icon

Posted 9/6/06 12:47 PM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

The sono tech idea telling you or not telling you is not a good idea...BC I am sure 9/10 times they are going to say..."do you want to know". Then your dilemma is gonna be presented at that second. Me personally, I am so glad I didnt find out. I am 28 weeks and cant wait to find out in the delivery room. Dont get me wrong...it was hard leaving there knowing that they know and I dont...Hmmmm...tough decision!

Posted 9/6/06 2:16 PM
 

tiki03
*************

Member since 9/05

8660 total posts

Name:

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

I don't regret finding out. Shopping made it so much fun and easier. Whether you know it's a girl or a boy, it'll still be a surprise in the end becuse you look forward to what your baby looks like!
FYI-I know a couple of people who didn't find out the sex and got lots of yellows and greens and when their babies were born they went out and got pink/blue clothing anyway and rarely wore what was given at their showers.

Posted 9/6/06 2:42 PM
 

CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(

Member since 5/05

13848 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: To know the gender or not to know the gender: that is my debate

We found out and it was over the phone after my CVS. It was kind of a let down but I still wouldn't change knowing- I get to buy clothes and decorate according to her sex. Its really fun.

Posted 9/6/06 4:11 PM
 
 

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