Toddler post re:sleepig

I just figured I would throw this out to see if anyone has any ideas for me.

We seem to be having a problem with getting T to fall asleep at night. We will put her down around 8 and most nights she won't fall asleep until 9:30 - 10 pm.

I would be ok with it - but its not like she just lays in bed and reads or whatever...she is still calling for me to come in around every 15 min or so.

Now on days that she doesn't nap she will sleep from about 7:30-7:30 and falls asleep in no time...but a few days without a nap and she is a meeeesssss!!! And she starts waking up again at night.

Napping her every other day doesnt seem to be working either - and truthfully on days she doesnt nap she is falling asleep watching tv around 2 anyway so I feel like she needs to nap.

I have cut her nap down to about an hour to an hour and a half...is there anything else I can do to get her to fall asleep at a more decent hour at night?

PS...I have tried putting her down earlier - that doesn't work either!!! And the later I put her to sleep - the later she stays up.

Message edited 4/9/2008 1:06:23 PM.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

how old is your dc? my dd is 21 months and has been doing the same thing recently..all of a sudden i have to rock her for a few minutes. i was confused and then figured i would check her mouth and sure enough she was getting 2 new teeth..(she always seemed very mushy and needy when teething)..but every child is different.

i have this book 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks. it basically says . no matter what..at bedtime the child should stay in the crib/bed for 12 hours. so i know it is hard but the cry it out method may have to start again..because otherwise it sets a bad habit..

its hard for me because dd takes a pacifier ..she will throw it out and know i will be up to give it to her.but i figured out that rocking with her head on my shoulder for literally only 2 minutes gets her relaxed..i just tell her its time to go to sleep and she eventually goes

i HTH..good luck

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

My 19 month old is pulling this and I think it's teethign related also. He'll hang out in his crib for an hour+ before falling asleep! In addition he has learned that he can request "one more book" - Stalling technique - but we have to just let him cry or it will become a habit.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Well I know Jake and Talia are close in age and I can tell you we went through something similar and it seems to be a phase.

He's always been a good sleeper but we went through a stage where I would put him down and he would not fall asleep for about an hour or so. No crying, but he was definitely awake and if something bugged him, he'd let you know.

Eventually it turned into calling out for water in the middle of the night, or a stuffed toy, or a light on - basically anything to get us to come in to him.

We quickly caught on and figured out that we needed to put a stop to it asap. So now, I put him down with a sippy cup of water, the hallway light on, and whatever his desired comfort of the month is. I ask him before bed if he has everything he needs and tell him to go right to sleep - no calling for mommy because I'm not coming in. He understands and it seems to be working.

They are in a transitional stage right now with sleep, I think. They aren't quite ready to give up that nap, and they can stay up a little later so putting them to bed earlier isn't always the answer. (Although I still find that 1/2 hr earlier bedtime usually helps, not hurts).

Also, when this started happening, I extended the bedtime ritual. I felt that maybe he was still too wound up from daycare and the hectic dinnertime ritual where DH and I are also still a little wired. I try to really make it about winding down. More books, read more slowly... a little more cuddling and soothing before bed. That also seemed to help.

Sorry this is so long! I hope it helps though.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Maybe try something soothing at night like chamomile tea or warm milk?

I'm no help cuz ever since Aly has been in the toddler bed, we start around 8:30 and some nights she doesn't fall asleep till close to 10, mostly around 9:30 though.

Taking her out to play seems to help

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Posted by BabyAvocado

Well I know Jake and Talia are close in age and I can tell you we went through something similar and it seems to be a phase.

He's always been a good sleeper but we went through a stage where I would put him down and he would not fall asleep for about an hour or so. No crying, but he was definitely awake and if something bugged him, he'd let you know.

Eventually it turned into calling out for water in the middle of the night, or a stuffed toy, or a light on - basically anything to get us to come in to him.

We quickly caught on and figured out that we needed to put a stop to it asap. So now, I put him down with a sippy cup of water, the hallway light on, and whatever his desired comfort of the month is. I ask him before bed if he has everything he needs and tell him to go right to sleep - no calling for mommy because I'm not coming in. He understands and it seems to be working.

They are in a transitional stage right now with sleep, I think. They aren't quite ready to give up that nap, and they can stay up a little later so putting them to bed earlier isn't always the answer. (Although I still find that 1/2 hr earlier bedtime usually helps, not hurts).

Also, when this started happening, I extended the bedtime ritual. I felt that maybe he was still too wound up from daycare and the hectic dinnertime ritual where DH and I are also still a little wired. I try to really make it about winding down. More books, read more slowly... a little more cuddling and soothing before bed. That also seemed to help.

Sorry this is so long! I hope it helps though.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Posted by MrsR

Posted by BabyAvocado

Well I know Jake and Talia are close in age and I can tell you we went through something similar and it seems to be a phase.

He's always been a good sleeper but we went through a stage where I would put him down and he would not fall asleep for about an hour or so. No crying, but he was definitely awake and if something bugged him, he'd let you know.

Eventually it turned into calling out for water in the middle of the night, or a stuffed toy, or a light on - basically anything to get us to come in to him.

We quickly caught on and figured out that we needed to put a stop to it asap. So now, I put him down with a sippy cup of water, the hallway light on, and whatever his desired comfort of the month is. I ask him before bed if he has everything he needs and tell him to go right to sleep - no calling for mommy because I'm not coming in. He understands and it seems to be working.

They are in a transitional stage right now with sleep, I think. They aren't quite ready to give up that nap, and they can stay up a little later so putting them to bed earlier isn't always the answer. (Although I still find that 1/2 hr earlier bedtime usually helps, not hurts).

Also, when this started happening, I extended the bedtime ritual. I felt that maybe he was still too wound up from daycare and the hectic dinnertime ritual where DH and I are also still a little wired. I try to really make it about winding down. More books, read more slowly... a little more cuddling and soothing before bed. That also seemed to help.

Sorry this is so long! I hope it helps though.

Thank you Sandra - this is VERY helpful. Talia also has all these weird "needs" all of a sudden and its certainly impacting her unwinding.

my question is when he calls for you and you ignore what happens?

Because I can tell you in my house its a MELTDOWN.

I started telling her that if she gets up I am going to have to close her door and when I do she FLAILS out of bed and starts screaming and pounding on the door - it's not pretty. Some nights I feel like letting her cry until she falls asleep wherever she may land - but seriously - I am pretty sure the screaming will go on for hours. She is VERY stubborn!!!

So I guess that is really my obstacle...HOW to let her CIO now that she is in bed and has more strength than me?

(BTW - she has all her teeth so it isn't teething!)

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

bumping for the night time crew.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

I could have typed this word for word myself. I just read it to dh and he laughed it is so similar.
We are having the exact same problem so I am anxious to see the responses. I have toyed with the idea of getting rid of her nap too, but I also feel like she needs it.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

oh my, I can imagine us going through the same thing in a few months when we transition to the bed. the previous suggestions sound like really good ones- i'm saving this post! it's like CIO with an infant all over again! can't wait!

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

The only two suggestions I have is:

Once I am done with all of her nighttime stuff, I don't talk to her. As much as she may try to engage me I just shush her- cold yes, but she knows I mean business

The second thing I do is after a certain amount of time 20-30 minutes of her lying in bed and me just sitting there, I tell her DeeDee Mommy has to go downstairs and do such and such and I will come back in a few minutes to check on you. I don't. I leave her door open (monitors on) and I come back down an do what I have to do. The first couple of times, she would call for me and I would yell up DeeDee Mommy is doing X I will be there in a minute and not go. She falls asleep much quicker that way for me.

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Thanks for the ideas everyone...I am glad to know I am on the right track and I am not the only one that has to be stern at night.

last night was better...lucky for me she was tired! But on the third time i went into her room I said to her - T, this is my last time in here tonight...If you start talking again I am going to have to shut the door....then I left and got a phone call 2 seconds after. normally I would have told my friend I would call her back, but this time i took the call. I heard T calling for me but I ignored it...20 min later when I was done with my call she was sleeping - normally if I didn't answer her she would have been screaming. So maybe we are making some progress!

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

Hi I am glad you posted the same thing. As much as Talia is strong willed I can tell you Sara is the same way. Sara will scream cry pound the walls and throw everything. It is so draining to listen to it. I am going to try the putting her in the room and not talking but I am waiting until Friday. Sara is VERY stong and hard headed I hope I can do this

Re: Toddler post re:sleepig

If you don't want her to scream and pound on the door, I like the OP's idea of going in there, putting her in her bed, and then walking back out. Without saying a word.

Show her you are a solid force to reckon with and that no matter what she does, the end result is the same - she's going back into bed.

And don't engage her by talking to her - this is what I do at night with Alex. She likes to delay sleepytime by talking up a storm with me. I turn the lights down low, and I don't respond to her, other than to say it's sleepytime Alex.