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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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UPDATE: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
I liked this one...4 hour date of just talking and a few drinks. He's funny, cute, just ran the marathon (love that) etc. BUT...his job is ehh....am I being a snob? I just feel like he has been in the industry he is in for almost 10 years...so why is he still in this similar role. We work in similar industries so I know it well...
I think because I am so motivated and always looking for the next step...I expect that of others.
Should I put it out of my head and just look forward to our second date? I think I feel this way because of the type of guys I normally date. But he was really sweet and fun...and I was really attracted to him!!
______________________________
UPDATE:
Thanks so much for everything you all said...you are all so right!!!
We have been chatting all week and are going out again Sat. night...I'm really looking forward to it.
Kristi - We met online  
Message edited 11/20/2006 11:13:06 PM.
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Posted 11/18/06 10:09 AM  |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Honestly-- just go with it... Maybe there is a reason why he is still in the position. Lack of ambition drives me nuts too-- but if he is otherwise great-- just have fun!
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:12 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
I have been at the same job as a teacher for the past ten years too. I have no aspirations to move up in the ranks to become an administrator. I only aspire to be the best classroom teacher I can be to serve my students' needs.
Perhaps, he gets a lot of pleasure from what he does and he is content where he is. If you can see past this, then great. If not, and if it will gnaw at you, it may keep you from enjoying what could be a wonderful relationship. It wouldnt be fair to you or to him. I use to know immediately if I could look past something or if I couldnt.
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:15 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Posted by randella
Honestly-- just go with it... Maybe there is a reason why he is still in the position. Lack of ambition drives me nuts too-- but if he is otherwise great-- just have fun!
I agree... I would see where it goes. Maybe it is not a lack of ambition- but just looks like that on the surface. Like randella said- maybe there is a reason he is still in that position.
I don't think you are being a snob by wanting someone to have a good work ethic, drive and motivation- I mean, it would be wrong if you were not like that but expected it from others... But, you are a lot like that and it seems you just want similar qualities- I can't blame you! 
I'm glad to hear the date went well- just go with it, have a good time and see where this takes you. You never know- if someone had told me that this guy I met on match.com would end up being my husband I would have thought they were crazy... I never expected it but once I gave him a chance I fell for him immediately! Then, all the other little things didn't matter anymore and everything just worked!
Good luck- keep us posted!!
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:16 AM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
I had always imagined I'd end up with someone who was "as or more successful" than me. But what does that MEAN?
My husband didn't go to college and is a blue collar worker- but that doesn't make him any less motivated than me. It took me a while to realize that.
Motivation and success can be found in so many other areas of life. Perhaps his fullfillment in life comes from other areas that differ from yours. That can only make things more interesting, I feel.
Look forward to the second date.
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:17 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by randella
Honestly-- just go with it... Maybe there is a reason why he is still in the position. Lack of ambition drives me nuts too-- but if he is otherwise great-- just have fun!
I agree... I would see where it goes. Maybe it is not a lack of ambition- but just looks like that on the surface. Like randella said- maybe there is a reason he is still in that position.
I don't think you are being a snob by wanting someone to have a good work ethic, drive and motivation- I mean, it would be wrong if you were not like that but expected it from others... But, you are a lot like that and it seems you just want similar qualities- I can't blame you!
I was in a similar dating situation once. The guy was nice but had to juggle two to three dead end jobs just to make ends meet. Me, I had my MS degree by 23 and while I am a teacher, I've received extra training to teach the college and advanced placement classes. I always worked really hard to educate myself so I could support myself. I had a hard time seeing a future with him and trying to live on LI (it isn't an option for me to move) even though he seemed like a great guy.
I would continue to see him but just keep your options open. If someone else asks you out, you have no ties to this guy right now. If and when he wants things to become more serious by then you'll have a better idea of what you feel comfortable doing.
Message edited 11/18/2006 10:33:37 AM.
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:28 AM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 5/21/2009 10:26:54 AM.
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| Posted 11/18/06 10:31 AM |
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peabody
Love green icing!!!
Member since 5/05 4691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
My DH is so opposite than me. I truly thought I would end up with a Jcrew/white collar type guy.
Phil went to college and grad school.
But he loves building and designing things, he is a contractor and loves what he does.
He has been asked and offered other positions in the field, ex: Project Manager, where he would be more managing the guys, but not hands on actually bulidng and designing.
He turned it down twice. He loves being hands on and it would make him unhappy if he wasn't.
Sounds like you had a good time. Spend more time with him and enjoy each other's company.
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| Posted 11/18/06 11:04 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Maybe he's just happy where he is!
Go for it!
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| Posted 11/18/06 11:06 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Keep an open mind. I went out with guys that I thought were good for me but it was never a good situation.
I met the man of my dreams in a fluke situation that didn't allow me to get in my own way and make a bad decision about him at first.
Turned out to be the best decision of my life. Sometimes, the things you think you want are completely wrong and you have to just go with it and see what happens.
Perfection shouldn't be the goal. Give it a chance, it might not be perfect, but still turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. 
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| Posted 11/18/06 11:16 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
If you like everything else about him, give him a shot.
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| Posted 11/18/06 11:42 AM |
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Michelina627
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 1071 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
With my DH I was friends with him - swore I'd never date him because of his job, then when he asked me out, I swore I would never get serious...well, obviously now I believe in never saying never!
I think one date is too early to determine the future - if you had fun, go for it and see what happens!
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| Posted 11/18/06 11:48 AM |
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
I would go with it- my DH is a college professor and while he has a PhD, he otherwise isn't ambitious and would be happy teaching for the rest of his life. Since his area's finance, he could make more money doing consulting, etc. but he has no desire to do that. Which is fine, because it's always felt like we were more of a partnership in terms of home life, and when our baby is here she will have equal time with both of us. That's important to me.
Regardless, as others have said, it also can't hurt to keep your options open!
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| Posted 11/18/06 12:12 PM |
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octoberbride
Big sister to be!
Member since 11/05 2174 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
definitely go with it. like everyone else said - maybe there is a reason he is still in this position, maybe there is more to the story, etc. I think it's too early to make judgements on that after only one date - especially if everything else abouit him is great!
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| Posted 11/18/06 12:15 PM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Just have fun..I mean he could be the greatest guy ever.. if you can get to know him just keep your options open! 
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| Posted 11/18/06 12:17 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
not sure why him being comfortable in his job would be an issue
I would def go on a 2nd date. if that is th eonly thing that bothers you, you've got it made!
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| Posted 11/18/06 12:18 PM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Posted by JenniferEver
Maybe he's just happy where he is!
Go for it!
I agree with this. Maybe it's a conscious choice to have a less stressful life. Before you should not count him out until you find out why he stayed where he is. I'd ask him before ditching him.
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| Posted 11/18/06 12:43 PM |
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skip123
Trying...
Member since 8/06 2759 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Glad to hear it went well....If he Is Funny, smart, nice and you are attracted to him i think you should definitely see him again and get to know him a bit better..maybe he is working on some career goal..or maybe hes content...either way..If you like his personality and he is a genuine person..give him a chance, you never know...but I do understand where your coming from....good luck and just have fun....
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| Posted 11/18/06 1:16 PM |
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ggt08
;)
Member since 5/05 5208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
oh robyn so glad you had fun.... dont start to nit lick him yet-- i do the SAME thing!!! you had fun, enjoy and see where date 2 takes you! keep your options open but get to know him more before yu make any rash decisions!!
so glad you had fun!
where did you meet him?
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| Posted 11/18/06 6:13 PM |
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FRAPPALICIOUS
sexxxxxy
Member since 10/05 2236 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Definately go on another date, especially if you really liked him. The first 2 years that DH and I were together he had a so/so job. Now he's doing awesome. You never know what could happen!
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| Posted 11/18/06 6:20 PM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Posted by Porrruss
Motivation and success can be found in so many other areas of life. Perhaps his fullfillment in life comes from other areas that differ from yours. That can only make things more interesting, I feel.
I agree with this...I say give it a few more dates and maybe you will get to understand why he is where he is...good luck!!
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| Posted 11/18/06 7:06 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
if you had fun then date him again... maybe he really enjoys that position he is in. Actually the other night I got picked up from the airport from a driver of a limosine company. he was actually the same driver that drove me to the airport a few days earlier so we were chatting on the ride home. I said something lke how many pick-ups do you do in a day and that I could never do a job like his, driving back and forth to the airport all day long. he told me how he just graduated and is now an accountant and even though he makes less $$$ driving the car and it is not as glamorous of a job, he really likes it much better than crunching numbers all day. I thought that was good for him to find a job he really loves since most people I know are unhappy with their jobs, even with the less $ and traffic. He may be truly happy in that position Give him a chance!!!
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| Posted 11/18/06 7:14 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Go for it. I worked my way up the ranks and I was miserable. I resigned and became an executive assistant instead. I caught a lot of slack for my decision but honestly, once I changed I was the happiest I had been in years.
If he makes enough money to support himself and he is happy that should be a positive thing rather than a negative.
Regardless, I am so happy you had a date and a great time on it! I wish you soo much happiness! 
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| Posted 11/18/06 7:24 PM |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
DH was in retail when I met him....still is, just higher up slightly.
Didn't matter to me....I was happy just being with him. $$ is not important to us nor are material things.
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| Posted 11/18/06 8:14 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Had a Date Last Night....Question Inside!
Posted by robynfs
I liked this one...4 hour date of just talking and a few drinks. He's funny, cute, just ran the marathon (love that) etc. BUT...his job is ehh....am I being a snob? I just feel like he has been in the industry he is in for almost 10 years...so why is he still in this similar role. We work in similar industries so I know it well...
I think because I am so motivated and always looking for the next step...I expect that of others.
Should I put it out of my head and just look forward to our second date? I think I feel this way because of the type of guys I normally date. But he was really sweet and fun...and I was really attracted to him!!
i really don't think i would be lookig that much into someone after a first date...
you couldn't possibly begin to know what his reason are just yet or even know him
just take one step at a time..
the cute factor is the only thing required for a second date...IMO
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| Posted 11/18/06 8:25 PM |
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