Vent- should I be l upset?

I am in the early stages of seeing a RE to help with TTC I've told a few friends about what's going on and I recently told my mom a couple of weeks ago. I get a text from my dad how's everything going with the new baby? My parents are divorced but have a good relationship. I KNOW she told him. Is it the end of the world that he's in the know, no. But I feel like my mom should take what I tell her in confidence now I have no idea who else she shared that information with.. I didn't respond to the text and I haven't approached my mom yet, this just happened an hr ago. My mom does have a big mouth but I never would've thought it would be about me...

Thoughts?

Vent- should I be l upset?

It's your dad so I wouldn't worry too much, but I would have a talk with her about not wanting her to spread the news.

I've done IVF and the only people besides DH that knew what was going on were the people on this site .

Re: Vent- should I be l upset?

Parents get so excited about grandparent stuff. I'm not excusing your mom, but I could see the people in my family doing something similar. When I was 8 weeks pg with DD I told my father and asked him not to tell anyone. He told his mother (my grandmother) a few hours later. He was just busting with excitement and really wanted to share it with someone he loved and trusted.

There are going to be a lot of steps in this process with the RE - waiting to ovulate, the 2ww, first and second betas… if you want to share these with your mother along the way, talk to her now. Tell her that it's important to you that this all be kept private. Make it clear. If, after that, she violates your trust again, then you should decide if you want to share with her again.

Re: Vent- should I be l upset?

Thanks girls I appreciate it. I spoke with my mom apparently my dad thinks that Bc we get LO new furniture that we're preparing for a baby. Se confirmed she didn't say anything and wouldn't.

Re: Vent- should I be l upset?

I have a lot of regrets about who i told and when i told people about us seeing a RE. We told our family and friends in the early stages thinking we were going to be pregnant with the doctors magic ASAP .......three years and no luck and i wish no one knew!!!! But no i wouldn't be mad, and yes tell your mom how you are feeling and hoping to keep this on the low.....good luck!

Re: Vent- should I be l upset?

Both of our moms betrayed our confidence on the infertility subject after us explicitly telling them again and again, "This is just between us." IMO, in our situation, it came down to this whole I'm the parent and you're the child dynamic in which they acknowledged that it was a secret but thought they had a right to make decisions about who could know (e.g. "Right, but *** is family" or "*** is a nurse; it's not a big deal"). In both cases we calmly confronted them and, sadly, shut them out of the process, which now drives them crazy.

I think with your mom you may want to say something (loving but firm) because once the kid is born, the battle over respect for boundaries and authority to make your own parenting decisions with the grandparents is a common one. I think of it as groundwork for the road ahead one way or the other.