Very Personal Questions

This is probably going to be long so if you dont have experience with infertility or the possibility of selective reduction you may want to turn back now

I am currently going through infertility and have found several issues going on with me. One of which is slightly poor egg quality. Our course of action is stimming and timed BD, this presents a greater likelihood of multiples, however small the possiblity may be, I have to consider that even with 2-4 eggs, the result could possibly be quads or greater. My Dr makes it a point before every clycle to ask if we are open to selective reduction. I have always said yes, although I full well know that when faced with the actual decision, my answer could be no i am not open to it. I believe it is very easy to think you will have a certain response to something, but then actually have the complete opposite response when faced with the situation. Now mind you, I have also said yes knowing nothing about the actual procedure, until recently. The timing and method of selective reduction was recently brought to my attention, the details of which I confirmed with my dr. Knowing what I know now I find it even harder to embrace the thought of having to do it. With poor egg quality our focus is to get more than 1 egg in the hopes that at least 1 is good.....

My questions are: have you had to consider selective reduction? If you were/are dead set against it did you continue your infertility treatments with more than 1 follie? Did you worry that you'd end up like Octomom.....i know the chances are slim, but crazy things happen.

Feel free to answer by FM. I do not wish to be judged, nor do I wish for anyone else to be judged. I am just really upset at the thought of how/when they do selective reduction and am having a difficult time knowing how to proceed. TIA!

Re: Very Personal Questions

I have no real advice, but wanted to give you . And anyone who could ever judge your situation ( or anyone else's ) is a piece of cr*p in my book.

Re: Very Personal Questions

This is one of the things we spoke about in great detail with my RE. I was not opposed to SR. I knew that if more than 2 embryos took (we did IVF), that I would have to consider SR for my own health, and also the health of the pregnancy.

With that said.....

When I got my BFP and went for my first sono, we saw one sac. I had to go back two days later because they didn't see the yolk sac. At the 2nd sono, not only was there a distinct 2nd sac, but also what the RE thought was a 3rd sac. Our joy and excitment over having twins was quickly clouded with the thought of SR. Both my DH and I said to eachother at the same time "oh sh!t"

In the end, nature made the decision for us and we were blessed with our beautiful daughter. Had I really been faced with the decision, I'm not 100% sure what I would have done, but most likely we would have done the SR.

Good luck and I hope you do not have to make any decisions like this!

Re: Very Personal Questions

edited - once again good luck and what a poster below said is great advice - dont worry about it

Message edited 7/9/2009 4:21:04 PM.

Re: Very Personal Questions

I don't remember my dr asking me about selective reduction but maybe that's because I only had 2 fertilized eggs inserted.

But if I was asked that question I would have to reply with...honestly I would probably have said, I'm not sure. That's a very hard question to answer. I don't think I could do it and I would take a chance with delivering all of them.

I guess if I were you I would just see what happens instead of thinking about what could happen and then take it from there.

Re: Very Personal Questions

I don't personally have experience with selective reduction nor did I have to consider it but I did do fertility treatments. There's always a lot to think about and lots of what ifs. When it was time for me to trigger, the doctor told me that if I did it the day he called, i would likely have 2 eggs and if I waited until the next day, 3 eggs. I chose the earlier day because at this point in my life I'm not ready to have multiples. That being said, my IUI was successful and we are expecting only one baby (and I'm sure that someone else would be of the opinion that I should have increased my chances by waiting an extra day). I guess my point is that even if you release multiple eggs, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will all be fertilized. It's really a very personal decision and no one has the right to judge you.

Re: Very Personal Questions

When I was doing my treatments, my doctor briefly mentioned it may have to be a decision that DH and I have to make, but he never really got deep into it. He was always VERY careful to monitor/control the number of eggs I got because I have PCOS, and when my first INCREDIBLY controlled injectible cycle resulted in several residual cysts, I was not allowed to continue unless I did IVF.

That said- it was something I stressed about off and on throughout my treatments.

I never came up with an answer.

You are absolutely right. You never know what you would do until you are in that situation. I always said I didn't think I could ever do it, but if my health or my babies health were at risk- I probably would have done it- as horrible as it would be.

There is no right or wrong answer. I pray you don't have to make that choice.

Re: Very Personal Questions

DH and I underwent IF treatments (I have egg quality issues) and were opposed to SR. We discussed with this our RE during treatments. However, we were very comfortable with the possibility of twins or triplets. We also were told that our chances for having more than 2 or 3 were very slim.

While doing medicated IUIs, I never responded that well to the medications and the most follies I ever had was 3 follicles. That IUI resulted in a pg of a singleton, but I ultimately miscarried.

When we did IVF, we knew we were putting back 2 or 3. Ultimately, we only put back 2 and were very comfortable with the decision.

While we were opposed to SR, I am not sure what I would do if my health or the babies' health were in jeopardy. I don't think that is a decision we could make until we were faced with it. However, because of my history and egg quality issues, I think our chances of ever dealing with it are very slim.

HTH

Re: Very Personal Questions

Infertility it self is very stressful.
You really need to just focus on stimming,going in for monitering.. and keeping your self in good spirits.

The last thing you should worry about in my opinion is the what if's..
take it one day at a time
you will make yourself crazy if you keep thinking ahead of yourself.

Re: Very Personal Questions

No personal advice, but I just finished reading a book about infertility treatments which had a whole chapter on selective reduction. It was called Everything Conceivable. It might provide some help to you, see if your library has it.

Re: Very Personal Questions

Oh I am so sorry that you have to even think about this! Anyone who judges you is just an arse!

Personally, I don't know if I would be able to do it. But from what you said, considering your egg quality, I wouldn't proceed with more than 3-4 eggs. What is the most you can safely carry?

Just want to give you some hugs and I hope you will never have to worry about anything other than buying cute stuff for a little baby!

Re: Very Personal Questions

OK here is the short version of my story. Ended up doing IVF they tranferred 4 embryos 3 took. I knew going into it that the risk of multiples was high and I was ok with it. For the first 4 weeks they only saw twins and I was ok with that happy that it worked on the first try. Then I go back for another sono the next week and was told I see baby #3... I wanted to die....I cried. I was sent to High Risk OB that went over the risk of multiples and the option of reduction. I said the only was I would ever reduce was if there was a gentic issue....Thankfully I had the CVS done at 12 weeks and all 3 were fine. I am now 33 weeks and all 3 babies are growing fine but its not easy carrying them I cant wait for it to be over. It is a diffiuclt decsion to make and I am glad I didnt have to. You just need to do what you feel is right for you. I wish you all the best. FM me if you have any other questions. I was trying to keep this short.....but I see it didnt work out that way....

Re: Very Personal Questions

I can't thank you all enough for sharing your stories with me. It is so comforting to know I'm not alone and that I am not the only one who has had to think about things like this. I know its a big "what if" but I like to be prepared for those too. Hearing what you all had to say has reminded me that if I find myself in this situation I will know what the right thing is for us. Thank you so much OXOXOX