warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Just venting... upset... angry... having a meltdown is all.

For those of you who don't frequent the pet board, my very, very special horse has been colicking for more than 30 hours (it's pretty serious at this point), and I'm beside myself. (See Pets Post)

At any rate, I'm extremely emotional (read - having a breakdown) over this tonight... so most of my frustration and need to vent comes from that.

Well, last night, an old friend of mine "Jane" (and fellow horseperson) called me after we hadn't spoken in a few months. I was so freaked out that I answered the phone on the first ring and said "Hey, I'm so sorry, Jane, but can I PLEASE call you back tomorrow? Horse is colicking and I'm just a few minutes away from the barn, waiting for the vet to call me back. She's meeting me out there." (Mind you, colic can be very serious in horses and the barn owners warned me it was bad...)

Next words (literally) out of my friend's mouth were "Okay. I just haven't talked to you in FOREVER and I was like 'did she fall off the face of the earth, or what?'"

I just said "I'm really sorry, but it's just a really bad time. I'll call you tomorrow!"

At this point, I had no idea how serious this colic actually was... but colic is generally never a good thing...

So tonight I called a mutual friend of ours who happens to keep her horse at the same barn. I was updating her on my horse and she was basically just letting me cry on her shoulder over the telephone line. I found out that the minute Jane hung up the phone, she called our mutual friend and said, "Do you REALLY think her horse is colicking, or do you think she just made that up b/c she's mad at me?" and then went on for a good half hour talking about how there's no way my horse was colicking - clearly I was making it up. (Note, I'll gladly send her copies of my vet bills, which will be astronomical!)

Selfish much? I KNOW I'm having an absolute emotional breakdown over what is going on... but I'm still sure I'd be upset over this even if I weren't. I am a pretty straight shooter and I'd never lie about Phaxxton. It'd be like someone lying about a family member or something. (Yes, I'm THAT attached to him.) Moreover, if I didn't want to talk to her, why did I answer the phone? It's not like I don't have caller ID. I just honestly cannot imagine how someone could think that -- could really think that it couldn't POSSIBLY be real that my horse was sick. I MUST be making it up. At least give me the benefit of the doubt. I've NEVER lied to this friend - never given her reason to think this way about me that I can think of.

I distanced myself from this person a while ago b/c she's insanely self-absorbed and selfish, but we have mutual friends, so it's not like we don't speak or see each other. I haven't written her out of my life completely -- I just distanced myself from the drama and we grew apart naturally. She lives off of drama. However, I've always been there for her (and when she still had him, moved mountains to help her horse out...)

Then, on top of all this, she doesn't even inquire how he's doing today. A fellow horseperson -- and someone who knows this horse personally. She knows how attached to him I am. I'm extra upset b/c I spent so much of my time tending to her horse when he was injured -- b/c she couldn't make it to the barn or for whatever other reason... I helped her get him ready when she wanted to sell him... I did a lot for her. She couldn't even muster a freakin' call or email to ask how my horse was. Okay, fine. I'll even give her that -- when she called me last night, she couldn't even say "I hope he's okay" -- she just said "You need to call me more!" Oh, wait. That's right. B/c he's not sick. I won't have thousands of dollars worth of vet bills. He's totally fine. I'm just a lying biotch who makes this crap up b/c I am mad at her.

WHAT ARE WE, 12?!?!??!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I hope your horse is okay

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

she's being a big poopie head...don't let her get to you

You have more important things to worry about. Like PAX! I hope he's feeling better soon.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

omg i'm so sorry!

that is the type of person that thinks the WHOLE world revolves around them - no, your horse isn't sick - you are just saying that b/c you are mad at HER - no, you CAN talk - you just don't want to talk to HER right now - HER HER HER

oyyyyyyy - that is so annoying.

someone needs to give this chick a reality check and tell her she is not important enough for you to MAKE UP stories about!

i would tell her that she needs to grow up and have some compassion!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I hope your horse and you feel better soon.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Sounds like you have every right to be upset here! I'm sorry you're going thru this! I do have to say though, I think it was in poor taste for your mutual friend to tell you about this--- like you didn't have enough to worry about being upset about your horse (which I can totally relate to--- my dog is my baby!). Your friend sounds very insecure if she'd even think you'd make something like that up- especially after all you did to help her with her horse!
I hope your baby is feeling better soon!!!!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

The NERVE of some people!

Kara, I am so sorry to hear that this girl was so inconsiderate, especially since she's someone who should understand the condition your horse could have been in ... and how that would make you feel.

I really hope that your horse is doing better today, and that the situation isn't too bad.

It just might be time to actually kick this girl to the curb ... or at least to severely distance yourself from her ...

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

for your horse!!!


for dealing with the stupidity.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I'm so sorry your horse is ill and more sorry that you have to deal with this right now....

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Posted by MrsMessina

Sounds like you have every right to be upset here! I'm sorry you're going thru this! I do have to say though, I think it was in poor taste for your mutual friend to tell you about this--- like you didn't have enough to worry about being upset about your horse (which I can totally relate to--- my dog is my baby!). Your friend sounds very insecure if she'd even think you'd make something like that up- especially after all you did to help her with her horse!
I hope your baby is feeling better soon!!!!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

It's all about her!

for your horse!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Unreal. I was just reading your post on the pet board actually.

What kind of friend would not even worry or offer to help. but instead calls someone else to start rumours. Oh right, a 12 year old. You hit it on the head.

Sorry you have to deal with this on top of your horse being sick. I hope he feels better soon. As for your friend. I hope your mutual friend put her in her place.


For your horse's quick recovery

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

People s*ck sometimes

I hope your horse is okay!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Lots of and *good vibes*

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

That's awful.

Many for your horse!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I'm sorry that your friend is lame and that your horse isn't feeling well.

btw, Phaxxton is pretty much the coolest name ever.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I have been thinking about this one.
Of course first and foremost, I am so sorry about your horse? Any updates?
Second, I think your friend sounds pretty self absorbed and lacks confidence. It's one thing to admit you have lost faith in a friendship, another to admit it to the other but bringing a third party into the convo is the part where she stepped over hte line.
I would call her back, explain yourself and use this as a perfect examply.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

I hope your horse is feeling better and pulls through!

I find that when people can fathom that you would lie about the health of a loved one like that, that it's not far from the realm of possibility of something they might do, KWIM?

It was wrong of her to call someone else and talk about you like that. I think she is probably feeling really insecure about the friendship.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Thank you everyone, especially for the good wishes for Phaxxton. My only focus is on my horse now. I can't be bothered by her today. I don't have the energy anymore.

I haven't slept in 48 hours - my horse is no better. I had to come into work today for a huge meeting I cannot get out of and I just want to be at the barn with my baby.

I'm sitting by the phone just praying to get a phone call from the vet or barn owner with good news. So far, the only calls I get are updates that there's no change.

I'm afraid he'll wind up in the horsey hospital on IV fluids if he doesn't get better soon. He's a very nervous animal, too (he was a rescue with a past history of abuse)... That will make him stress out big time.

I'm just counting the seconds until I can get out of here and back to the barn.

Thanks again for the well wishes here and on the Pets board. It means a lot to me and to Pax, too.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Sorry that your "friend" is being so immature. She doesn't sound like she is a very good friend to you.

I hope your horse gets better soon!!!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Prayers for your "baby". And I am sorry your friend is so self absorbed.

As a fellow horseperson, I know how serious colic is and I can't imagine how another horseperson would think you would fake it.

Hours of walking and stall watch, crouched down listening for SOMETHING in their tummies, can be nervewracking....

Special prayers to St. Francis right now!!

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

Unless she's generally like that, I'd cut her a break. Everyone has made major faus pax in their lives -and this could be hers. Also, maybe she has some major stuff going on too (althought doubtful because that's when people are too busy to make calls.)

In no way am I downplaying your horse being sick, and as a fellow horseperson she should be calling to see how you are & if there is anything she could do to help out.

I hope he's better soon.

Re: warning - vent: what are we 12?!

First , I hope your horse is doing better.

The thing that always amazes me about people/situations like this is that the person never stops to consider WHY you might not be calling her as often - she just jumps to the conclusion that you are lying. She sounds incredibly self absorbed and it sounds like your instincts were correct.