Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I'm a daily lurker---but figured I should come out and ask this question.

I know that I want to have a baby--but at the same time the actual act of saying "Let's DO THIS and start TTC" scares the crap out of me. A part of me thinks that I will never be able to let go of my neurosies and tell DH that we should actively try. (He would be okay with us starting like yesterday)

I've been on and off BCP for 11 years and I'm now starting month #2 of not being on it. So my hormones are a bit of a roller coaster. Right now, we still PNP , but if I were to get pregnant...we'd be okay with it. Sometimes I think this is the only way I could do it..."by accident".

Did any of you feel that way or currently feel that way?

Message edited 12/2/2008 11:51:44 AM.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I'm a lurker too love getting info and all that.

I think I know what you're feeling - I DEFINITELY want kids, but having friends and family with little ones and knowing how I worry about things anyway, makes me almost hesitant to say "yes, let's TTC right away!" - we have a plan as to when we'll start, but I still get worried about the what ifs (pregnancy wise and also raising kids the right way). But I think it's natural - especially since I think we all want to be good parents and all that.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I think that for us, we talked about it a LOT.

Once we decided that we were financially and emotionally okay with getting pregnant, we decided to just "see what happens." We stopped using condoms and planned BD based on when I thought I ovulated - but kept it pretty fun and spontaneous.

(Gosh, how little I knew back then!)

At the time, I ended up thinking I was 9 days late... took a million pregnancy tests and they were all negative. AF finally came.. and we were crushed. That's what made us realize how badly we both wanted it and how excited we were at the thought of it possibly happening. After that, we kicked it up a notch and started using OPKs... and the rest goes from there!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Posted by MrsPJB2007

I'm a daily lurker---but figured I should come out and ask this question.

I know that I want to have a baby--but at the same time the actual act of saying "Let's DO THIS and start TTC" scares the crap out of me. A part of me thinks that I will never be able to let go of my neurosies and tell DH that we should actively try. (He would be okay with us starting like yesterday)

I've been off and on BCP for 11 years and I'm now starting month #2 of not being on it. So my hormones are a bit of a roller coaster. Right now, we still PNP , but if I were to get pregnant...we'd be okay with it. Sometimes I think this is the only way I could do it..."by accident".

Did any of you feel that way or currently feel that way?

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

I'm a lurker too love getting info and all that.

I think I know what you're feeling - I DEFINITELY want kids, but having friends and family with little ones and knowing how I worry about things anyway, makes me almost hesitant to say "yes, let's TTC right away!" - we have a plan as to when we'll start, but I still get worried about the what ifs (pregnancy wise and also raising kids the right way). But I think it's natural - especially since I think we all want to be good parents and all that.

Message edited 12/2/2008 11:48:55 AM.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I had butterflies in my stomach when we first BD without any protection. It became very real!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

We talked about it, A LOT, for a while. We btoh know A LOT of people who got PG by accident or had an "ooops" and it peeves my DH to NO END!!

I wanted to be able to say we both made a conscious decision to create a life and bring it into this world. I also wanted to make sure we were both on the same boat about having a baby.

It wasn't a "lets sit down and talk abot this for an hour and decide" I think we discussed a lot or pros and cons to starting an family at the current time and hashed out or feelings of fears etc.

Then when it came close to the time when I would be ovulating or the begining of a new cycle we sat down and talked about it some more and both decided the time was right.......

It was a multi step talking process that worked for us and at the end of a few weeks we were both on the same track and comfortable with having a baby!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Not at all- we always wanted to try right away, although sometimes I get really scared at the thought of actually having a baby -- i just want to be a good mom you know
I thinks it's totally normal to have some fears.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

after we got married we started talking about it..
when it became "official" and started to "try" i got SUPER nervous.. i know i wanted it and was ready.. but it was scary for a little bit.. after the first few times BDing without any contraceptive.. it was fine! and felt so real!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

It was DH who actually came out with the lets TTC ! I always wanted children and so did DH I just thought about waiting a little longer then he wanted to.
It is very scary in certain ways , but as a woman in my early 30's and a DH close to 40, our window of waiting gets smaller and smaller .

I used to say I will know when I am ready, but now I feel I can make myself never be ready KWIM? I can make a million reasons why I should wait , and a million reasons to start now.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Posted by bellaluna

I used to say I will know when I am ready, but now I feel I can make myself never be ready KWIM? I can make a million reasons why I should wait , and a million reasons to start now.

yup--I think you hit the nail on the head there. DH and I have talked about it--and we figured we'd start TTC by the end of 09 - but now I'm wondering if we should try sooner...and its making me so nervous. Each time I think of a reason to start I think of a reason to wait.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Posted by bellaluna

I used to say I will know when I am ready, but now I feel I can make myself never be ready KWIM? I can make a million reasons why I should wait , and a million reasons to start now.

yup--I think you hit the nail on the head there. DH and I have talked about it--and we figured we'd start TTC by the end of 09 - but now I'm wondering if we should try sooner...and its making me so nervous. Each time I think of a reason to start I think of a reason to wait.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I can totally relate. I can not make decisions for the life of me. So to sit there and say, "yes, let's start TTC now" is difficult. I feel the same way about changing my lifestyle. I am scared by how much a baby will change things. I have so many questions about it, and I know they'll only be answered by actually having a baby. But it scares me. Yes, I want a baby desparately. But there's no giving it back. It only grows and has even more needs later on!

I said to DH the other night that I think the only way for it to happen without me freaking out about it is for it to "accidentally" happen. If it were up to DH we would be pregnant already. I just feel the same way you do.

We're going to start TTC soon. I'm going to finish this pack of BC and once my cycle regulates, which I think it will right away because I've been off them once before, we'll just let it happen. The way I figure is it's meant to happen when it's meant to happen, whether it's 2 months from now or 2 years from now. I just have to take the plunge and let God do his work.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

This is how I feel about #2. If it happened, I'd be thrilled and say it was meant to be. But the act of committing to "we're trying now" scares me a bit. As we getting closer to when we plan on starting I start getting a little scared and find myself hoping it happens without my having to think too hard about it. Wishful thinking, huh?

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

It was definitely a weird thing because I think I was ready slightly before DH, and then getting his grip on it was hard. But I think just one day, we said, what are we waiting for? And now we are TTC.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

hope its ok that I'm crashing. I just wanted to say that my husband wanted to ttc way before I did and for months I found reasons to put it off. I was never fully against trying, I just didn't think I needed to rush and didn't know if I was ready. Finally I agreed to try and during my 2ww of our first month trying I found myself getting so excited and hoping I was pregnant which I thought was so surprising! I still don't really know if I'm ready but I figure everything happens for a reason and I'm not sure anyone is ever really ready!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Oh my gosh, I totally felt that way, Melissa. It was much scarier for me than it was for DH. He was all for it right away, and it took me a bit to really get over my 'neuroses' as you say. It's so completely normal! It's a HUGE thing!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I'm a lurker too But I figured I'd pop out and tell you that I feel the same way. DH and I are having a hard time saying, OK let's try. We are not really using any protection just PNP and we are fine it it happens. We want kids, we're just having trouble making that jump.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I'm probably a horrible person to answer this but I was ready after we got engage (haha) but then we made a conscious decision that we'd like to of course get married first,travel, be financially ready (which frankly, is anyone ever?), have our house finally done....so after those things were done...we kind of just said why not start while we're in Europe and now we both want to start a family so bad that our first BFN was kind of a sad one for us...

So when you are ready....you will know, you just will. There isn't a way I could say it without sounding so cliche.

I don't think anyone is REALLY ready....how can you be? ya know.

(plus after eddie was born....forget it my longing for a baby got 10x worse & there was no way I could wait any longer lol....he needs a cousin!!)

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

We talked about it for several months before we actually started TTC. It was important for us to get all of emotions and reservations out in the open first.

The first time we BD'd without protection was SO scary, but soon I realized how much we both wanted this and it became more exciting than scary.

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

DH and I wanted to start before the wedding, so I guess we never had the talk.

Good Luck!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I've been lurking too.
HI EVERYONE!

Well..not banging and injecting yet - maybe next year...but we decided because....i'm 33 and want 2 kids. More of an age factor for me.

I'm SCARED CRAP!!!!!!!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

I harassed DH after the wedding, but he wanted to wait until we had a house. He thought getting PG just happens. His friends are having babies left and right, and now he's wondering when it'll happen for us. Hopefully soon!

Re: Was it hard to actually say "Lets start TTC"?

Once it hit 30 my clock started ticking and I had no problem telling DH I wanted to start trying. He on the other hand was not ready at that point. It took a while, but we talked about it and agreed upon a time that I would stop taking the pill. When that time came, I finished my last pack of pills and we've been trying ever since.