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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
Your brother is in the wrong....it is not fair for you to shoulder all this on your own
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Posted 2/19/07 8:13 AM  |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
your brother is being selfish.
you are such a great person for taking care of your dad the way your are. 
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| Posted 2/19/07 8:18 AM |
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AOMom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 856 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
I wouldn't let it go too long if you know that he is likely to hold this grudge for a long time. I'm not saying that I think he is right, he is absolutely wrong, I just don't think you need the added stress of fighting with your brother right now. Perhaps you can suggest other things he can do that would take some stuff off of your plate. Maybe when he comes to visit your dad he could run him out for a few errands?
I know you've posted in the past about strained relations with your Mom. His story makes no sense. Do you think that after he told you he would do it he s/w your Mom and she laid on the guilt real thick? Just a thought...
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| Posted 2/19/07 10:17 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
Posted by aliwnec10
Here is my perspective... i have 3 of those brothers and they're almost useless.  Almost nothing will change that. But what you can say to him is... since helping out is too much, than you can at least put in money to have someone help dad a few hours a week.
Have you called senior services yet? Medicaid? Medicare? I seriously would because most places have something in place for any help that you might need. Some may be more temporary help, but it's a start. We have someone come to my mothers 2 times a week for 4 hours a day to bath her, do her laundry, help her clean, or whatever she needs. It's $15 an hour and it's set up through At Home Services. I would call around your town and see what he may be eligible for and if nothing, than tell your brother he has to chip in to get the extra help that he's not providing! 
This is an excellent idea. My grandma had someone come into the house to help out and it was a great help to my mother when taking care of her. It's too much work for one person and you need help. If you can't get it from your family youneed to get out side help and there is no shame about it. Get your brother to write a check for it every week made payable to you so you can pay the service. If he made it payable to the service and he stops sending the checl you may never know if the person will show.
Make these arrangements soon. It will help yoru sanity and then your brother is really helping.
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| Posted 2/19/07 12:47 PM |
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Hi-Fi55
12 years...wow....
Member since 2/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
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| Posted 2/19/07 12:55 PM |
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skygirl
Our prayers were answered:)
Member since 6/05 4919 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
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| Posted 2/19/07 1:17 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: Well, another family member bites the dust
As someone who takes care of a parent (although she's currently staying at my sister's) I understand your frustration and the fact that you're so emotional. It's HARD!!  And it sucks that you don't have support. 
But I just want to play Devil's Advocate here...I'm not sure where you live or how far it is for your brother to get to you from his house, but if he goes in to work at 3pm, there may not be enough time to drive to your house, pick up your dad, take him to the appointments, drop him off at your house and drive back to work...this is assuming that he leaves his house in the am "dressed" for work. He's a man, he probably doesn't have a good concept of time, or how this will happen.
However, if none of the above will apply and he's just being a jerk just to be a jerk, maybe see if you can get non-family help. A home health aide comes to mind. Being that you have to prepare all meals for you dad, is he really OK to live by himself?
I know my mom can't...and I do everything for her.
Again, I'm sorry. I guess this is what happens when the kids grow up...and the parent's health fails.
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| Posted 2/19/07 1:37 PM |
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