Well, it finally hit me...

The panic... the depression... the insanity of IVF.

I've been ok these past few months, focusing on all the wonderful things in my life, distracting myself, letting go of the worry and panic knowing that I can't control what happens. Therapy and acupuncture helped too, as well as losing weight, focusing on eating right and exercising.

But this week it all hit me. I worked from home today and was working out watching TV, changed the channel, stumbled onto a baby story and lost it. I don't think I've sobbed that hard in months.

I feel like I'm doing everything I can to maintain some semblance of normalcy and optimism, but it's getting progressively harder as I approach my start date for the stims.

Any words of wisdom from the BTDT ladies?

Re: Well, it finally hit me...

Let yourself be overwhelemed right now. It's totally normal, IVF is a very overwhelming and emotional thing. I promise you though, once you start, it's not as overwhelming and scary as it is in your head. And I'm Queen ScaredyCat! I found I was so much more anxious before I started, especially because I really didn't know what to expect, and it was so much less than what I had built it up to be in my head.

I don't know if my rambling makes any sense, maybe one of the other wonderful ladies here knows what I'm talking about and can be a little more eloquent!

Re: Well, it finally hit me...

your not alone! i feel the same way i kill myself every time i watch a baby story we are aloud to be like this look what we are going through

Re: Well, it finally hit me...

I'm so sorry you had a bad day! I haven't started IVF yet, I'm waiting to see if I get a BFP from my last IUI, but I already have my appt for the IVF consult in mid November.

for a better day!

Re: Well, it finally hit me...

Yep, BTDT. I usually break down a night or two before I start stims. I look at that big box of drugs and freak. I can't believe I'm doing this...again.

You'll make it through, we all will. One way or another, we're al stronger because of this.

Oh, and a tip....don't put on Baby Story again. Even if you think you'll be ok. Just don't.

Re: Well, it finally hit me...

Stay AWAY from that show and all related shows. It is a must!

I remember watching that show for years and enjoying it. Before I even had a BOYFRIEND! Now that I am married and facing IF, I avoid it like the plague.