What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

I have waited a long time to become a parent and have had lots of time to observe other kids. These are what we have come up with(obviously this is in theory only for any that are going to come on a post well its different when you actually HAVE the child):

Try to keep them away from processed food. I'd like to feed fruits and veggies, wheat crackers, pretzels etc as snacks

Do not overprotect as they get older-let them have their own mistakes and failures with our support and guidance but not cleaning up their messes for them.

Get them reading as early as possible-expose them to our love of books(bonus a kid that can read will usually not say they are bored)

Teach them to be individuals with their own minds and morals

What are yours?

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Not let them be an a*shole.

But seriously some kids are SO RUDE. I want my child to be well behaved and respectful.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Make sure my kid has Respect for himself and for others. If my son wants to dye his hair purple or get his lip pierced, I don't care as long as he is a good person.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Great post!!

I don't have a set list, but here are some things that come to mind.

Teach them healthy eating habits, so that it is something that comes naturally to them. (Everything in moderation.)

Let them be their own person. I will expose them to all sorts of activities, hobbies, ideas, etc, but will not force them to continue with things they do not like. (Obviously, some things are an exception, like school, etc.)

I will always encourage dialogue and open communication. I don't want them to ever be afraid to tell me anything.

I won't be too strict when they are older, but I won't be that laid back either. I will probably be stricter than my parents were with me.

I will teach them how to express themselves in a healthy way--encourage them to explain when they are angry or sad, and will always listen to why. If I am wrong, I will say so. I think it's important for kids to know everyone can be wrong and we should admit when we are wrong.

I will have them help with chores around the house, to make it something that comes naturally to them (like the healthy eating habits). I will admit that I am not a naturally neat person and was never made to clean up after myself. Someone always bailed me out of cleaning...whether it was my dad, my grandmother, I never had to clean and now I absolutely hate it and am not good at it.

Teach them to be responsible with money as they get older. I'll give them an allowance, but maybe have them set a budget and keep track of what they are spending money on.

Teach them to be kind, thoughtful and considerate towards others, without being a pushover.

I'm sure there are a million more things...

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

i dont know yet.

I would like them to listen when I ask them to do something

Be respectful and have manners

When is a teenager, not hate me and be able to open up and talk to me.

Not be paranoid/over protective and let them learn some lessons on their own

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Posted by hmm8191

Not let them be an a*shole.

But seriously some kids are SO RUDE. I want my child to be well behaved and respectful.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Let her know that the world isn’t built for men, its built for all of us

Teach her science, cars and other male associated things are good enough for her and she’s good enough for them if she wants them

Give her music

Give her books

Not allow her to speak to me the way I see other parents let their children walk all over them.

Teach her discipline and respect, no matter who else’s parents lets them get away with murder!

Teach her to be herself, whatever that may be and not to be ashamed of it or try to fit in with the acceptable norms

Let her be as adventurous as she wants to be. Meaning I will have to learn to let her go from time to time and trust her.

Teach her to ask questions, even if they are hard questions

Teach her to always be honest with herself and be true to her passions, but be willing to compromise or change her stance when she knows she’s wrong.

On an academic level, teach her math and science at a young age. Show her music and art. Give her the love of nature.

Teach her the value of the small things and life doesn’t have to be filled with frills and silly baubles to be beautiful and full. (Those other things are only extras)

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

*Instill compassion for others
*treat others the way you like to be treated
*respect themselves and their bodies
*bring them up with positive self-esteem without allowing them to be self-absorbed
*encourage open communication
*I do not want overly protective or too lenient. Although between DH and I, I am probably going to turn out to be a meanie.
*teach them to be self-reliant. Yes, my son will wash dishes and my daughter will know how to change a tire.
*since I didn't grow up in NY, I want to expose them to theatre , arts, etc.
*encourage reading. I want to start reading to them at a very young age.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

let my kids make mistakes and learn from them....my parents were always very very open with me and not the type of parents to ever say if you do this we'll ground you, and i think it made me a really good kid in the long run bc i never felt that i wanted to rebel against anything

always see his/her parents in a good mood, I did see my parents argue a lot and I think it made me a bit more nervous and neurotic as a person and don't want that for my kids

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

This was an awesome thread! I would like to teach my child everything that all the other posters have said.

Children need structure and boundaries. I just hope I can be a good parent as i'm sure everyone else hopes to be!

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

I have realistic answers and I have idealistic ones.

Here are the definites:

-I will never promise my children anything more than a home, food, education and love. I was not raised on promises and it forced me to develop my own strength.

-I will allow my children to make their own mistakes.

-I will teach them the value of a dollar.

-To write "thank you" notes.

Here is what I HOPE to accomplish:

-To read to my child everyday.

-To make change.

-To not tolerate a fresh mouth or cursing in my home.

-To expose my children to their faith and make it fun for them rather than a mundane ritualistic chore without meaning.

-To allow them to know their grandparents

I am also EXTREMELY and adamantly opposed to any sports team or league where every child gets a trophy. Kids need to know how to win graciously and to lose with sportsmanship. Mind you, this is coming from a non-athletic person who used to lose ALL THE TIME. I am rather well adjusted. I know this won't sit well with many current parents and future parents but it makes my skin crawl. Life isn't always poops and giggles.

That being said, I would like my children to be strong and tough and I want them to be able to defend themselves, using words. Any loser can throw a fist - that's animal behavior. It takes a well-thought out and educated person to cut with kindness and class.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

After 14 years of working with children as both a teacher and day care provider there is one main thing that I want to instill in my children and that is RESPECT. Respect for themselves, for others, for authority, and for my DH and I. If you can raise a respectful child then everything else will fall into place and I truly believe that. I am not here to be my child's friend, that comes later in life, I am here to provide them the skills and tools to be a successful, good, decent person and I truly believe it all stems from giving and getting respect. The best kids I've known over the years have manners, etiquette, respect, and therefore they are kind, good people and will grow up to be good adults. So that is my main goal with my children.

Message edited 6/24/2008 5:50:42 PM.

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

I really want them to go outside and play--not be in front of the TV or video games all day. I look back on my childhood and I had the best times--and I was exercising while playing!

READ!!! I'm an English and DH is an attorney, so we are voracious readers. I really want to teach them the value of books.

I hope I can open their palettes to exotic foods and different tastes. DH is a great eater, but me, not so much. I want my kids to be really cultured eaters (if that makes sense...)

I want them to be good people. Nice, but street smart. Not the bully or the bullied...

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

One thing I wil 100% absoutely NOT back down on is my kid (kids) ever sleeping in my bed!!!!! That is by far one of the BIGGEST pet peeves I have. In my humble opinion kids DO NOT belong in an adults bed! Think of all the kinky, nasty things you do in your bed...lolololol!!!!!
Seriously though, I do not care my kid could be complaining of anything I will not allow them to sleep in my bed. I will come to them, stay with them in their room, sleep in their bed, but my bed is for me and my husband only! People tell me that will change but I say well I am one stubborn chick, I won't back down on this one!
XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: What are the thing you will do as a parent(in a perfect world)

great post, you are going to be a great mom, Mel