What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

Let me preface this by saying..I may have the most STUBBORN little girl EVER!!!!!!!! She doesnt give in and no tactics ever work..

So, Megan will be 3 on Saturday. And as much as I have been trying to teach her all along to clean up after herself, I havent harped on it. Well now I think is the time that she should know she has to clean up one toy before taking another out. So tonight we were in her room and she dumped her bag of blocks. Classic Megan, played with them for like 5 minutes and went on to the next thing. I told her that we had to clean up the blocks before taking something else out. Well..she outright says no to me. I try to make a game out of it..tell her I will help her, her job is to pick up the yellow ones...nope, nothing. I try to sing the cleanup song, she walks away. So..now I am getting angry. I tell her she is going to get a timeout..give her said timeout..I ask her if shes ready...she says yes but gets up and walks to other toys. I take her by the hand, lead her back to the blocks..she throws herself on the floor.

Now I say, fine..if you dont do what Mommy asks you to do, Mommy isnt going to listen to you either. So I sat on the bed, looking the other way while she said MOM MOM MOM over and over (kinda like the family guy skit if anyone watches LMAO)..I finally told her that mommy was very upset because she wasnt listening..she screamed and cried...kicked her feet...blah blah blah..

After 40 minutes...yep 40 MINUTES..she finally picked up about 4 yellow blocks. Then said to me.."Better Mom?" OH MY!!!

Anyone have problems like this? Anyone have a 3 year old that is this stubborn???? Sometimes I cant believe how she stands her ground..its just unreal to me. Am I alone here or does this come with the age?? And if someone wants to pass me a glass of wine...Id be more than happy to drink it all down...AND THEN SOME!

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

Logan's only 2, but he has times like this too.

Last time I told him that any toys he didn't clean up got taken away for the next day.

He said fine and left all the legos out.

The next day he wanted to play blocks (which I put up high, but left in sight.)

I told him no, because he didn't put them away when I asked the day before.

He whined. He cried. I stayed firm.

He tested me again and after he was done coloring he wanted to go outside and play. I told him fine, but he had to clean up the markers first.

He refused. I said "Fine. Then they get put with the legos and you can't play with them either."

Next day, he realized that he couldn't color or play with blocks.

He whined a little, but decided to play trains instead.

When it was bathtime he looked at me and said "clean up first?"

I said yes, please. He did and we haven't had a problem since.

If he goes to leave something out, I remind him of the new rule and he puts it away.

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

DD isn't anywhere near as bad as DS was, but both of them were/are really stubborn. When DS was 3 (and there's still some remnants of this at 6, but it's manageable now), he would stay in TO on his own for an hour or more (even when we followed all the "experts" instructions, and told him he could come out after 3 minutes). If we took away a toy, he would voluntarily start giving us all his toys to take away. He managed to undermine any and all incentives and punishments.

In the end, we just stayed consistent with our methods, and he eventually grew out of it (and started having toys and activities that he didn't want to give up.... ;) ).

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

I have no real answers. But I think she definitely has to come hang out with Vanessa. She is a total clean freak at 20 months. She seriously LOVES to clean. She will whip Megan into shape. I swear, she would be a top employee at Merry maids at the ripe old age of 20 months!!!

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

I'm pretty mean - if she throws toys or doesn't help to take care of them, they go in the garbage. (at least for her to see )

I ask her nicely several times to help me clean up, if she doesn't I warn her that they will go in the garbage. If she still doesn't help, in they go (I usually put them in a plastic bag first, so I can pull it out later when she's not paying attention.) I had to actually put something in the garbage twice, now she helps (usually after a warning though!!)

Message edited 8/18/2009 8:31:30 AM.

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

Yes! Sophie is like that. I tell her I'll throw her toys in the gartbage and I actually have put them in a clean garbarage bag and acted like I was putting them outside and she just does not care!! Sometimes she will help clean up, but only when she's in the mood!

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

Story of my life right now

DD doesnt clean up after herself unless I ask her 5 times and then threaten to take something away. Its partly my fault.. I always clean up after her. I just cant stand looking at all the toys so I put them away as she's done playing with them. I guess I was hoping she would follow in mommy's footsteps but that hasnt happened yet.

I asked how she was at nursery school and I was told that she also tries to get out of it there too LOL!!! When its time for everyone to clean up the toys she goes to put her shoes back on (she usually plays dress up) and it takes her however long it takes everyone else to clean up to put them back on.

Im not overly concerned yet.. I think as she gets a little older it will change.. I hope.

Re: What do you do in situations like these? Older toddlers..

I have 2 of them that are stubborn like that!

What i do...I give them 3 chances-
1st i ask them to pick up their toys
2nd-I sing clean up song and offer to help
and if 1 or 2 don't work..
3rd-I give them to count of 3 to start cleaning up their toys..if they don't start to clean them up-i tell them if I do it this time they lose it(i usually put them in my room, but i have also thrown out toys)

I only had to do #3 a handful of times..they KNOW now that if i get to 3, toys are going to get taken away or thrown out and i they know i mean business.

My girls are 2 and 3

They won't be able to get away with things like that at school..when it's cleanup time, it's cleanup time.