what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

one of my godson's is a serial breaker. every time he comes over, something lese is breaking. usually it's small stuff but last weekend he broke his Rockabye airplane rocker totally broken and not worth repair. we are constantly telling him not to sit on luce's riding toys or jump around or play rough with this stuff but he's 8 and extremely touchy and curious. the last weekend before this, he broke one of the letters on luce's name train. that is fixable with some wood glue but still...my dh is NOT happy. he still has not gotten over this last episode...understandably...and now my kid is out a toy (and it was the ONLY gift we bought him for his 1st birthday too...)

anyway, I had a long talk with him (and he was actually grounded by his parents for a separate yet similar issue with his ds) but what else to do? dh wants to subtract the cost of the items from any $$ we would put into his 529 (we have one for all our nieces/nephews/godchildren that we put money in every so often) I don't necessarily agree with that but not sure what else, if anything, can be done.

as the parent of the breaker (and I am sure I will be in this position one day) how do YOU react when your child breaks another childs toy or belonging?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

My nephews are like this. They are 12 and 8 and they like to play with DDs toys. They sit on them and throw themselves on them. Whenever I see them on something that is not for them I make a comment. Eventually they don't want to hear from me anymore and usually stop.

My sister doesn't do anything and they have broken several of DD's toys.

I it was my DD that broke something I would offer to replace it.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

I would offer to replace anything my child broke. If i had a serial breaker, they would no longer be welcomed

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

i would expect it to be replaced. if its an expensive item i would probably offer to pay half.

my nephew accidentally broke DS's glasses which cost $200. i did expect my sister to pay for them, but I was willing to pay half. luckily i got it covered under warranty.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

If my kid breaks something, I would offer to replace it. If another kid breaks my kid's stuff, I'd probably karate chop them!

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

Hmmm. I know it's tricky with family, but I wouldn't necessarily expect the parents the reimburse me. I'd expect them to offer though Kids are kids and stuff gets broken. BUT given the serial nature of the crime, nephew needed that punishment from his parents; I don't think being "punitive" going forward really does anything but create bad blood with family, kwim?

"Merry Christmas Little Johnny, this monetary gift would've been DOUBLE if you hadn't broken my kid's Whoozywhatsitwiggle." I get WANTING to do that, I just don't think it'd be EFFECTIVE. You want the behavior to STOP, point blank, not to punish it after the fact.

Since he's a family member and will be back, you're PERFECTLY within your rights to talk to him before the next incident, and ask him ONCE to be careful with Luce's stuff. If he disregards you he gets punished - playtime is over, or whatever punishment you tell him about beforehand.

I think at age 8 there's a klutz factor, so some of it may be innocent, but there's also a point at which I'd suspect its more about getting attention than willfully breaking stuff, kwim?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

This is the way I look at it......

My kids will probably break someone else's things so in the end I can't really complain much.

I have a nephew that is a serial breaker, I put all the expensive things away when he comes over.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

I'd expect the parents to replace it item--especially if the "breaker" was 8 years old. Maybe not if it was a smaller child that didn't know better.

8 years old IMO is old enough to know better, or at least stop playing with something he/she has been told they're too big for.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

I wouldn't subtract it from his 529 as that just hurts his future and it won't "hurt" him in the sense that even if he knew it was happening, he wouldn't really grasp the concept.

Given that he is a serial breaker, I would not allow him to play with Luce's toys, at all. He needs to experience consequences for his actions. If it comes down to it, I would put the majority of Luce's toys away when he comes over, as I would be livid if an 8 year old was breaking my 21-month-olds toys constantly.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

no one offered to replace and i didn't ask. we are not replacing though either, at least not directly. he has 2 other riding toys so he'll just use those.

I am also not in to spiting the child so we'll continue giving him money. anyway, they are not getting it until college so it's not like I can say "there would have been $200 more in there if you hadn't broken those toys when you were a small child" that would be less effective a deterent than the death penalty.

I am also a quasi sucker, so I would have to be beyond my wits end for him to not be welcome. he's a great kid. just too curious and still just a bit caught in that age between big kid and little kid. and he is just no responsible. he has no concept of cost. he broke his own brother's DS and he had to "replace" it...using money he's never seen and didn't know he had.

I am not his mother so I am really not in the position to teach him all that much. but I may, going forward, make him "work" off the cost of the item doing small jobs for me, to be determined at the time of the offense, until his "debt" is sufficiently paid. actually, I think I will employ this on my own kid if the need should arise, whether I replace the item or not. yeah, this is good.

we shall see.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

I would never expect someone else to pay for a broken toy. If he was a serial breaker, I would no longer invite him over.

If my son broke something, I would offer to replace it. If they did not accept, I'd probably bring them a new gift and/or buy a meal.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

yeah. luce doesn't have many toys to begin with (I am evil and mean and he doesn't PLAY with them) but almost all of them are in the den.

his name train was up on the mantle in his room, and the rocker was also in his room, which is also the "crash" room at our house upstate.

oh well.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

I would never make my nephew feel unwelcome in my home for that. I would just put away all the precious or expensive toys when I know he is coming over.

As the parent of the breaker, I would offer to replace the broken item.

Re: what do you do when another kid breaks your kids stuff? or when your kid breaks some other kids stuff?

My 8 year old nephew broke one of Charlie's toys - totally by accident and I didn't think it was a big deal; I was ready to replace it on my own. However my SIL replaced it next time we saw her

I would do the same had the situation been reversed...but I don't know that I'd expect it of other people, kwim?