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halfbaked
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6937 total posts
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
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Posted 12/5/13 3:45 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
I agree. I did go thru IF and thought donor eggs/uterus were where i would have to go... i would never have the balls to ask someone this...
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| Posted 12/5/13 3:48 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
If I remember correctly, the cousin herself didn't even ask her. Instead, her aunt asked her.
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| Posted 12/5/13 3:49 PM |
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SurferChick
LIF Infant
Member since 10/11 114 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
If I remember correctly, the cousin herself didn't even ask her. Instead, her aunt asked her.
Her mother asked me since her daughter was too young to even understand what her diagnosis really meant.
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| Posted 12/5/13 3:57 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
If I remember correctly, the cousin herself didn't even ask her. Instead, her aunt asked her.
Her mother asked me since her daughter was too young to even understand what her diagnosis really meant.[/QUOTE
Did she even know her mom was asking??? I'd lose my shit on my mom if she did that. I'm in the part of its incredible nervy to ask for someone's uterus. Yes plenty of people do it, but I feel like most people offer vs ask
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| Posted 12/5/13 5:10 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
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What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
To cosign a 40K loan for a family member right while I was in college. I was making 8$ an hour and this family member didn't exactly have a the best credit history.
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| Posted 12/5/13 5:25 PM |
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by Kitten1929
If I can help, I help.
If it puts me in an awkward situation, I decline.
I don't understand why it needs to be on YOUR terms. Either you can help this person, as long as you have the ability to do so, or you can decline.
Because when they first asked, I thought it was something they were going to want EVENTUALLY. The first is how it was presented. Not DUE a couple days later.
If I say no now it's going to be super awkward. Although I did look at the form today and honestly, I don't know WHAT I am going to say about this person, only knowing them a few months.....besides that LOL.
Why do you always have to have snark? Just curious?
Message edited 12/5/2013 5:50:24 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/13 5:45 PM |
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I think it's a strange request, honestly.
But I learned a long time ago, on this site especially, you're best keeping your mouth shut about anything to do with this subject otherwise, it gets twisted out of context a million ways to paint you as a horrible person.
Let's see how this flies now.
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| Posted 12/5/13 5:49 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
My entire job is requests from people that i find completely unreasonable or nervy!
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| Posted 12/5/13 6:24 PM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
As far as the job recommendation, she should have explained the time crunch upfront. Someone I know needed four recommendation letters recently, so when she asked people, she explained that time was of the essence and that she would need the letters by a certain date (two weeks from then). That way people knew from the start and it worked out well. She sent them her bio, got the letters and no one was stressed.
I believe you are within your rights to explain that had you known there was a rush, you would have declined immediately as you are overwhelmed with work right now and that under the circumstances you are unable to do it within her time frame. She may not like it, but it is the truth.
As for the pushy outright request for an egg donation … WOW. Quite honestly, that is a delicate subject that should have been approached with sensitivity. It is a big decision and one which needs consideration, even coming from a close relative. It is not to be lightly undertaken.
While I probably would do it for a sibling, I am not sure I would do it for a cousin. Certainly not without thought as that child would in reality be mine, and would I want a child of mine to grow up in whatever family situation that might exist without my being able to step in if something was going wrong? Let me say right here that some of my cousins, love them as I do, are not the brightest lights in the chandelier and have made some pretty dumb decisions in their lives. One ended up drinking which is messing up her daughter big time, another is financially a scatterbrain and always begging for money, very disorganized and can't bring up the kids she has already - forget helping them with their school work. If one of her's had been biologically mine, I would be suffering intensely for that child's messed up future.
Message edited 12/5/2013 7:23:10 PM.
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| Posted 12/5/13 7:22 PM |
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
FWIW, this is a grad school rec.
For this person's now THIRD grad school major. (Yes, they went to school for something, dropped out are in school for something else now and decided they will only stick with that "if" they don't get accepted into this 3rd major). I still can't get over the waste on the student loans, but that's ANOTHER thread. LOL.
I know they are going to ask when I see them tomorrow so I was planning on being honest that I don't have time and now that I have been reading over the questions that are being asked of me, I don't think I have enough info.
It asks number of YEARS I have known them.....this person I met earlier this fall.
I'm curious to what they will say when I point that out.
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| Posted 12/5/13 7:29 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
I agree. I did go thru IF and thought donor eggs/uterus were where i would have to go... i would never have the balls to ask someone this...
Same here and I am as infertile as they come
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| Posted 12/5/13 9:18 PM |
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by SurferChick
My cousin has a disease where she is unable to have kids. I was asked by her mother to donate my eggs.
I think I win this one...
yes, you def win this one. WOW.
Most nervy thing someone asked was to borrow my car, which was my first new car and I'd had it about a month, plus it was a stick shift. The request wasn't odd, but the co-worker requesting it was very unstable and never drove herself anywhere - she frequently had panic attacks when riding as a passenger in my car. So bizarre to me.
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| Posted 12/5/13 10:27 PM |
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
I was in court a few weeks ago and just wrapped up a trial where my expert witness was a doctor my firm regularly uses for testimony...this doctor is an ortho surgeon who lives in Woodbury, has 2 homes in the Hamptons & upstate, teaches at a local hospital, etc..
As I walk out of the courthouse, he runs up to me to comment about the case and sees me holding my car keys, and asks, "hey, are you driving back to Melville by any chance.?", as i reply, "yea I am parked in the lot behind this courthouse, then going straight there, why?"..
He quips, "oh can you give me a lift to the Hicksville LIRR station where my car is parked? It would save me some time waiting on that LIRR platform and paying for the fare, you know how it is...."
(The LIRR is only 1 block away and the weather was warm) .
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| Posted 12/5/13 11:36 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by EclecticEsq10810
I was in court a few weeks ago and just wrapped up a trial where my expert witness was a doctor my firm regularly uses for testimony...this doctor is an ortho surgeon who lives in Woodbury, has 2 homes in the Hamptons & upstate, teaches at a local hospital, etc..
As I walk out of the courthouse, he runs up to me to comment about the case and sees me holding my car keys, and asks, "hey, are you driving back to Melville by any chance.?", as i reply, "yea I am parked in the lot behind this courthouse, then going straight there, why?"..
He quips, "oh can you give me a lift to the Hicksville LIRR station where my car is parked? It would save me some time waiting on that LIRR platform and paying for the fare, you know how it is...."
(The LIRR is only 1 block away and the weather was warm) .
He was probably hitting on you!!
As for the request to freeze eggs, how on earth can some of you say that if she was asked rather than expected to freeze her eggs then the request can not be nervy, yet in the same breathe agree that being asked (not expected) to watch someones kid, give a recommendation in a time crunch, or help someone with work CAN be nervy????
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| Posted 12/6/13 12:00 AM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
I went through IF and got pregnant via IVF. I know what it's like to be on that side of things. I think it's extremely nervy that someone's eggs were asked for! I don't understand how that's NOT nervy to put someone in the spot like that!!
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| Posted 12/6/13 12:02 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
I hate when simple favors get turned into a major project.
But probably the nerviest is when someone asked me to take the blame for their car accident (I was a passenger but they wanted me to say they were driving).
I had a roomate ask me to front her $7K until her student loan check came in but I was single, had a decent amount in the bank that she knew about, wasn't doing anything with the money & she paid me right back. I didn't even consider it nervy because we were so close & she would have done the same without hesitation.
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
Absolutely agree. I was always ok with donating my eggs to specific people if they needed the help. But I think egg donation is something people offer (if they're comfortable), NOT something that you ask someone for. In the most technical terms, you are asking for their offspring.
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| Posted 12/6/13 12:46 PM |
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tomcat
LIF Adult Cat
Member since 6/12 1308 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
a sibling's in-law relative asked me to marry them for papers.
i felt so bad for their family, but i was in school, in my mid - 20's, looking for mr. right. besides the legal ramifications, I had a life of my own, and he painted a picture of what my life would be like pretending to be his wife for a couple of years so he & his family could be here legally.
i knew he was religious, so i said i would think about it, and pray to god for the answer. in the end, i just told him it wasn't the right thing to do.
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| Posted 12/6/13 1:01 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
I think I'm up there with this one...
Around when I was 17 or 18 years old I was at the mall with a friend. We went to the bathroom and as we walked out there was an older man and his wife (she was in a wheelchair). He asked if we can wheel his wife into the ladies room and we said no problem.
We wheeled her into the handicap stall and waited by the sinks. A few mins later we see her peek her head out and wave us to come over. WEll, the woman had her pants and Underpants down by her ankle. I say ankle bc we saw she had one leg and asked us to help her get dressed. We were mortified, but we helped as much as we could. Then wheeled her to wash her hands then out to her husband who was waiting outside holding a dollar bill to give us for helping to split between the two of us. We obviously declined the dollar and rarely ever spoke of that again
Also wanted to add that yes.. there are some nervy requests people will ask.
Message edited 12/6/2013 1:06:22 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/13 1:05 PM |
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whyteach
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2697 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
We just moved into our house and were havin a block party. A neighbor from down the block (that we hardly knew) rang our doorbell at around 8:30 at night and asked if the DJ could use the electric from our house to supply his equipment.
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| Posted 12/6/13 9:31 PM |
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RellyWife
LIF Infant
Member since 2/10 82 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by EricaAlt
I think I'm up there with this one...
Around when I was 17 or 18 years old I was at the mall with a friend. We went to the bathroom and as we walked out there was an older man and his wife (she was in a wheelchair). He asked if we can wheel his wife into the ladies room and we said no problem.
We wheeled her into the handicap stall and waited by the sinks. A few mins later we see her peek her head out and wave us to come over. WEll, the woman had her pants and Underpants down by her ankle. I say ankle bc we saw she had one leg and asked us to help her get dressed. We were mortified, but we helped as much as we could. Then wheeled her to wash her hands then out to her husband who was waiting outside holding a dollar bill to give us for helping to split between the two of us. We obviously declined the dollar and rarely ever spoke of that again
Also wanted to add that yes.. there are some nervy requests people will ask.
I don't see this as a nervy request. Uncomfortable, yes, but not nervy. I think it was a woman who genuinely needed your help and probably felt more embarassed than you guys did. I look at it as you guys were kind to help her in her time of need.
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| Posted 12/7/13 12:09 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by halfbaked
Posted by SurferChick
Posted by mrsboss
Hmmmm, no one thinks its nervy to be asked/expected to donate your eggs? What am I missing?
THANK YOU!!
I wasn't asking to start something and I do honestly feel for people who do have fertility issues but asking someone right out to do something so personal is a pretty tough thing to answer.
I truly don't think you were, but this IS LIF after all....
People think it's nervy to ask someone to get them free tickets or cover for them at work but it's okay to ask you (expect you even!) to excavate your womb...
If I remember correctly, the cousin herself didn't even ask her. Instead, her aunt asked her.
Her mother asked me since her daughter was too young to even understand what her diagnosis really meant.
So you mean her daughter wasn't even ready to have kids? In that case then it was definitely an improper request. She wanted you to freeze your eggs in case someday her daughter may want to have a baby when she's old enough? Who's to say she will definitely want kids or want your eggs? And then what woukd happen to the eggs? I would get it if your cousin was actually trying to have a baby and she asked you, but for her to expect you to freeze you eggs just in case does seem like a lot to ask.
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| Posted 12/7/13 11:23 AM |
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lcherian
He is the reason!
Member since 2/06 2512 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by EclecticEsq10810
I was in court a few weeks ago and just wrapped up a trial where my expert witness was a doctor my firm regularly uses for testimony...this doctor is an ortho surgeon who lives in Woodbury, has 2 homes in the Hamptons & upstate, teaches at a local hospital, etc..
As I walk out of the courthouse, he runs up to me to comment about the case and sees me holding my car keys, and asks, "hey, are you driving back to Melville by any chance.?", as i reply, "yea I am parked in the lot behind this courthouse, then going straight there, why?"..
He quips, "oh can you give me a lift to the Hicksville LIRR station where my car is parked? It would save me some time waiting on that LIRR platform and paying for the fare, you know how it is...."
(The LIRR is only 1 block away and the weather was warm) .
Similar thing happened to me. After finishing up a depo in Tampa, (I live in Orlando), a co-defense attorney asked me if I could drop him off at the airport. This was my first time meeting him. Couldn't his client pay for transportation? Lol.
Message edited 12/7/2013 6:34:52 PM.
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| Posted 12/7/13 6:34 PM |
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
free legal services, often on an emergency basis and often something the person knew about for a long time, but buried their head in the sand until there was a deadline. It helped tremendously that I put it out there that I won't do it anymore. However, it still breaks my heart to hear that someone who would never take advantage felt funny asking, while the people who have all the nerve have no qualms about it.
PS: nothing is ever JUST a letter or JUST filing an answer with the court. Don't ask me as you de-value what you are asking for. Do it yourself if it is so easy!
Message edited 12/8/2013 2:12:45 AM.
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| Posted 12/8/13 2:10 AM |
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sameinitials
insert creative comment here
Member since 2/12 1998 total posts
Name:
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Re: What is a favor/request someone has asked you....
Posted by EclecticEsq10810
I was in court a few weeks ago and just wrapped up a trial where my expert witness was a doctor my firm regularly uses for testimony...this doctor is an ortho surgeon who lives in Woodbury, has 2 homes in the Hamptons & upstate, teaches at a local hospital, etc..
As I walk out of the courthouse, he runs up to me to comment about the case and sees me holding my car keys, and asks, "hey, are you driving back to Melville by any chance.?", as i reply, "yea I am parked in the lot behind this courthouse, then going straight there, why?"..
He quips, "oh can you give me a lift to the Hicksville LIRR station where my car is parked? It would save me some time waiting on that LIRR platform and paying for the fare, you know how it is...."
(The LIRR is only 1 block away and the weather was warm) .
See, I don't think this is weird at all. It's someone who, as you said, your firm regularly uses, so he's not a stranger, and it doesn't sound like he would really be taking you out of your way (which is probably why he asked if you were going to Melville).
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| Posted 12/8/13 9:11 AM |
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