What is wrong with my MIL!!!

I went to a wedding over the weekend and was talking to my SIL. She is watching my DD this month since we have 2 weddings in one night. So my MIL was arguing with her that she was watching her that day or half the day. So when my SIL said, "NO, I"m watching her", my MIL said, "Oh, good, I watched her the other day." She said it like she was relieved as if my DD was a hassle. I WAS SO ******!!!! All my DD does is smile and laugh and plays with her toys on the floor. SHE'S only 8 months. I can't take her anymore. She lives 2 miles away from us and IF she sees her 1 a month, that's a lot.


I told my DH about it and he said he can't say anything since he wasn't there, BUT HE IS NEVER there when she makes these nasty comments. I have to see her at the end of the month and I'm dreading it. I'm so upset that a grandmother would actually make that comment.

It's horrible to say, but sometimes I wish my DD would just scream when she holds her, but she loves everyone, so that won't happen.

I just wish I could tell my DD that he Nana loves her, but it doesn't seem like it.

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

How old is your MIL? Perhaps it is stressful caring for a young baby to her now. Or maybe she was glad to have the date to do something herself?
If you don't like her answer to your SIL do not ask your MIL to babysit anymore. She isn't calling you and insisting that you leave the baby with her.
I would not flip out or say anything to my mother/MIL. I would just realize that maybe babysitting for more than an hour or so is not something she wants to do and not ask her.

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

My MIL is only 56. Everytime (only twice in the past 8 months) I ask how she was? She lights up and says she was excellent!! She goes upstate to see her other grandchildren and watches them ALL the time. It's hard not to ask her once in a while because the only other person I have to watch her is my mother.

If my 88 year old grandmother could watch my DD, I think it would be a piece of cake for my MIL.


I was just upset because you would think a grandmother would want to spend time with her grandchild.

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

I don't understand grandparents like this. It is one of the greatest joys in my life to be with my grandchildren. I look forward to it and, when I haven't seen them in a couple of days, I miss them. Are grandparents like this so wrapped up in themselves that they can't see what they are missing? I just don't get it. I feel very sorry for them. They'll come to realize too late what they let pass them by.

Maybe it's a blessing that your MIL isn't more involved. If she was, it doesn't sound like it would be easier on you. I know it's easy to say "try not to let this upset you". However, it does and it will continue to do so. It must seem like a rejection of your child. There, really, is nothing you can do to change this. She is who she is and, unless she comes to the realization that this time is the most precious of all, she won't change. I hope things get better for you and your child regarding this.

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

I think some MIL's feel closer to their daughters then their DILs and that reflects in the relationship they have with the children.
Do you invite her over for non-babysitting times? Maybe ask her to come for dinner one night and let her see your daughter without full responsiblity. Again, that is if you want to build a closer relationship.

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

I just wanted to send some - my MIL is the same way and I totally don't get it at all. DD is her first grandchild. Granted, she lives in Queens and we are in Suffolk, but I know that if my mom was in the same situation we would see her a lot more.

We saw MIL yesterday for the first time in months. DH asked if we should bring DD by her soon (notice how we don't even ask her to make the trip) - her response - well, now that my pool is closed for the summer maybe, we'll have to see....

*** - as if the pool every day is more important than your grandchild! Not to mention that we have a pool that she can sit by if she wanted to come and visit! It just isn't worth the effort for her. It makes me really sad - I just hope that DD doesn't pick up on it one day

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

I really dont hear anything but Jealousy in that statement. Kinda like she wanted to watch her and the SIL said "No I am watching her"...so MIL got defensive and said "Good I watched her the other day" Like a big Pouty woman. Reminds me of a 2 yr old that cant have candy before dinner so says "good I am not eating dinner". I think its nothing more then a whine. Feel sorry for her that she hasnt passed a 2 yr olds stae of mind

Re: What is wrong with my MIL!!!

Sometimes watching the grandkids can get tiring. My mother loves the kids but gets tired when she watches them. I know sometimes she is relieved when someone else is going to watch them. It doesn't mean she doesn't love them.