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I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

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groovypeg
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

hannah is formula fed and actually sleeps better during the day than at night! but since we changed her formula, slowly her night time is getting better. she can go sometimes 4-5 hours without eating if she is in a deep sleep. today we gave her a bath in the morning b/c she pooped herself and she slept from 8-11! have you tried a car ride? hannah passes out once she is in the car. we dont force her to eat. if she finishes the bottle, we offer it to her 1 more time and if she refuses, then she done.

we keep track of how much hannah eats only so i know how many bottles to make up. sometimes if we fill the bottles too much, we end up wasting an oz or so. when you take the most expensive formula (nutramigen) you dont want to waste it! LOL!

Posted 7/19/06 9:14 PM
 
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preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by groovypeg

hannah is formula fed and actually sleeps better during the day than at night! but since we changed her formula, slowly her night time is getting better. she can go sometimes 4-5 hours without eating if she is in a deep sleep. today we gave her a bath in the morning b/c she pooped herself and she slept from 8-11! have you tried a car ride? hannah passes out once she is in the car. we dont force her to eat. if she finishes the bottle, we offer it to her 1 more time and if she refuses, then she done.

we keep track of how much hannah eats only so i know how many bottles to make up. sometimes if we fill the bottles too much, we end up wasting an oz or so. when you take the most expensive formula (nutramigen) you dont want to waste it! LOL!



Why did you switch her formula?

He had his last feeding at around 6 pm then at around 9:30 pm he fell asleep and woke up at 2. He had another bottle (4oz) and then went back to sleep by 3 am. Then he woke up at 5 am and cried a little cuz he was scared he was alone. So I put him in bed with me. I really have to stop that but he won't sleep alone. And his sleep is very light lately even at night. Although he was sleeping he was still moving around as if he tossing and turning. He wasn't actually doing it but he stirs alot in his slee. He's probably restless. His breathing is fast so that's how I know he's not in that deep restful sleep.

I really don't know how he is going to fall into a better routine by 3 months if he is already doing this...

Posted 7/20/06 9:38 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by jrbaby

I use the soothie, but it does fall out out often. He actually doesn't need it at much now as he used to. What type of swing do you have? DS hates the swing that I got, but loves the one at my mom's. It swings in a different direction and has been our savior.


Believe me, it gets better. I had a real difficult time in the beginning but now it's becomng so great!



Did it really? Cuz I just ordered it. What about the stuffed animal thing that holds it in place? Did you ever try that?

Posted 7/20/06 9:39 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

What can they do for babies that don't get the sleep they are supposed to? Babies this small I mean...

Posted 7/20/06 9:42 AM
 

Bxgell2
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by bedda26

Sometimes I feel like saying "to hell with the clock and just feed whenever he seems hungry" but then how would you know if he is getting the ounces he is supposed to be getting.



I agree with Rachee, I think you need to relax a bit on worrying about how much he is eating. Some babies eat a lot (mine), others not as much. BUT, as long as he has regular wet diapers and is gaining weight at each doctor's visit, he's FINE, so try to stop worrying!

As for not taking naps and difficulty sleeping, well, I hate to tell you this, but this issue is probably the #1 issue with ALL new moms. Babies have a hard time sleeping! It's a fact of life for most new parents. I had the very same issues. For the first 3 months it's pretty much status quo that most babies have difficulty sleeping during hte day and falling asleep at night. My daughter would ONLY sleep in my arms, so for the first 3 months or so, I would rock her to sleep and hold her for all her daytime naps, and for nightime I would hold her until she was in a VERY deep sleep, for about an hour, before putting her down... that's the nature of taking care of a newborn. Eventually it WILL get better, probably by around 3 months or so, but until then, you'll have to find your own tricks for letting baby sleep, even if it means holding the little sucker in your arms for every nap Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/06 9:47 AM
 

jrbaby
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

I didn't try the thing that holds the soothie in place, but I think they are a great idea. Ryan loves the swing that goes side to side instead of back and forth and falls asleep in it all the time. He's actually sleeping there right now!

I don't think there is anything to do for a baby that doesn't sleep enough. I would try not to worry so much. If your baby really needs sleep, he will sleep. There were days when he wouldn't sleep well and then others he would go for long stretches. He actually had a terrible night last night and is now been sleeping for 1 1/2 hours.

As far as the eating, I keep track of when and how much he eats every day. It is definitely a pain, but it reassures me that I know exactly how much he is getting.

Good luck!

Posted 7/20/06 9:50 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Yeah but won't they get heavy bags under their eyes?

Posted 7/20/06 9:58 AM
 

jrbaby
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

I don't think so. Does your baby have bags?

Have you tried calling your ped about any of your concerns?

Posted 7/20/06 10:05 AM
 

DaniRN
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Danielle

Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by bedda26

Posted by groovypeg

hannah is formula fed and actually sleeps better during the day than at night! but since we changed her formula, slowly her night time is getting better. she can go sometimes 4-5 hours without eating if she is in a deep sleep. today we gave her a bath in the morning b/c she pooped herself and she slept from 8-11! have you tried a car ride? hannah passes out once she is in the car. we dont force her to eat. if she finishes the bottle, we offer it to her 1 more time and if she refuses, then she done.

we keep track of how much hannah eats only so i know how many bottles to make up. sometimes if we fill the bottles too much, we end up wasting an oz or so. when you take the most expensive formula (nutramigen) you dont want to waste it! LOL!



Why did you switch her formula?

He had his last feeding at around 6 pm then at around 9:30 pm he fell asleep and woke up at 2. He had another bottle (4oz) and then went back to sleep by 3 am. Then he woke up at 5 am and cried a little cuz he was scared he was alone. So I put him in bed with me. I really have to stop that but he won't sleep alone. And his sleep is very light lately even at night. Although he was sleeping he was still moving around as if he tossing and turning. He wasn't actually doing it but he stirs alot in his slee. He's probably restless. His breathing is fast so that's how I know he's not in that deep restful sleep.

I really don't know how he is going to fall into a better routine by 3 months if he is already doing this...



All babies breathe fast-they have faster respirations than adults-it's normal.
I seriously think you need to address these concerns with your ped, and if he is making you too neurotic, find another ped. You are spending so much time writing posts about his eating/sleeping/ounces, etc when you could be spending time with your son. I don't mean to come across harsh but a baby can also pick up on anxiety and stress-even this early on. What about joining a new mother's group or something where you can get out and talk to other new moms so you don't feel like you are the only oone going through this?

Posted 7/20/06 10:13 AM
 

DaniRN
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Danielle

Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Oh, and everything you are posting sounds completely normal in my opinion. He sounds like he is eating fine and sleeping as much as he needs-even if it seems "light" to you.
I think you should consider yourself lucky-my best friends son is the same age as yours and he has reflux, colic, barely ever sleeps and spits up all the time.

Posted 7/20/06 10:15 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by DaniRN

Oh, and everything you are posting sounds completely normal in my opinion. He sounds like he is eating fine and sleeping as much as he needs-even if it seems "light" to you.
I think you should consider yourself lucky-my best friends son is the same age as yours and he has reflux, colic, barely ever sleeps and spits up all the time.



You know what it does concern me when my son is not eating like his supposed to. His feeding schedule is all out of wack. Now i'm feeding whenever. I'm just winging it. He doesn't sleep so he cries that he wants to eat but when you give him the bottle he will only drink an ounce or 2 at most. I know not every cry is a hunger cry but he had his hands in his mouth and everything.

Posted 7/20/06 11:05 AM
 

Bxgell2
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by DaniRN

Oh, and everything you are posting sounds completely normal in my opinion. He sounds like he is eating fine and sleeping as much as he needs-even if it seems "light" to you.
I think you should consider yourself lucky-my best friends son is the same age as yours and he has reflux, colic, barely ever sleeps and spits up all the time.



Seriously! You should thank your lucky stars that your son doesn't have apnea, reflux, colic, etc. Now THAT's the worst! Can I ask you a question? Why do you feel that you have to put your baby on a feeding schedule? Have you tried just feeding on demand? It sounds to me like you're trying too hard to fit into a schedule, and honestly, with young babies, that's always almost impossible! For myself, I fed my daughter on demand, whenever she was hungry. And like most babies, she often nodded off after eating just a little - it's no big deal, just feed him when he wakes up again. IMO, I think your stress levels will seriously decrease if you let your son dictate the "schedule" - just go with the flow - when he's hungry, feed him. When he sleeps, let him sleep - don't wake him to feed him. Again, as long as he has about 6 or 7 wet diapers a day, you don't need to worry about whether or not he's eating enough... I know for myself, once I leaned back and let Alex rule the day, everything was much easier. And then, around 3 months, she started setting a schedule for herself... a loose one though. But, at this stage, at 6 weeks, I think it's way to early to start thinking of a routine or a schedule, and if you try too hard to fit into one, you're going to drive yourself nuts!

Posted 7/20/06 11:23 AM
 

groovypeg
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

we switched formulas b/c she was really gassy and fussy. we went from enfamil with iron, to lactose free and now nutramigen. she is so much better on the nutramigen. she is still gassy, but she can pass it. her demeanor is more pleasant and her sleep is better.

hannah breathes very fast and i was told it is normal. just this morning she ate 3.5 oz at 630am, but only took 2 oz at 9:30. she spit up and then fell right to sleep. when she woke up at 1030 i gave her the rest of the bottle and she took 1.5 oz (the rest of it). she will probably get hungry around 1-1:30 or so. but if she cries or roots, i will feed her earlier. my point is that it's impossible to be on a strict every 3 hour schedule, b/c her body is growing.

i think that you should call your ped with your concerns and dont worry if you are afraid of sounding like a nervous first time mommy. its the peds job!!!i call my doc at least 1x a week with a question. thats what they are there for.

best of luck!Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/06 11:25 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Well I have started the feeding on demand thing and will see how that goes. He gets weighed next Saturday on the 31st. So we'll see how it goes then.

I'm sorry that I seem to be annoying some people here with my concerns.Chat Icon

Posted 7/20/06 11:33 AM
 

Marcie
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

I think there is a number of things you have to do:

1-the pacifier - do you have only one brand?
Is the nipple on the pacifier the same as the bottle. In the beginning Alisons wasn't and we changed so they were the same nipple and now she loves it.

2- with the new pacifier - try giving this to him when he has his hands or fingers in their mouth, you will know if he is hungry or just wants to $**** on something.

3- maybe try changing the bottle that you are using. Maybe he doesn't like the nipple on the bottle.

4- your baby will not eat 4oz at every bottle. Alison at one bottle will be 3 1/2 oz, next might be 2 1/2, next might be 4 oz, next could be 4 3/4. If he is eating - do not have concern about how much he is eating. He is not starving, even if he is eating a little. (as I have said before not every child is a textbook child)

5- about sleeping - they are going to sleep when they want to sleep. The do not care if it is during the day or at night. They could sleep just a couple of hours at night and that is it. Or you can have a child that sleeps a couple of hours during the day. Or you can have a child that sleeps ALL day and night - again - not every child is textbook.

6- I know you said you have a swing, do you put him in it when he is not crying? Do you have any other 'toys'? a bouncy seat? car seat? Try putting him in them when he is not crying and let him hang out in there. He will get used to it and want to hang out in there longer. If you put him in there crying, he may think that is what he is supposed to do in there. Do you have a stroller? Go for walks - cause it seems the both of you need to get out.
Another thing is I just put Ali on the floor under a light and ceiling fan, we put the ceiling fan on low and she lays there and smiles and laughs. You need to figure out the things that will make your baby happy - even if laying on the floor is not your thing.

7- Some babies like to be held. You have to think, you carried him 9+ months - he still needs the comfort that you gave him all that time. It is ok to hold your baby all day if you want to. They need it at this age.

8- and I think this is the last one Chat Icon
STOP stressing - you are doing an AWESOME job. I know you might feel like you are not, but you are. Please you have to enjoy this time, if you are stressed, that could be leading you to have a stressed out baby. They definitely sense it - I know Ali does.


Posted 7/20/06 11:34 AM
 

yankinmanc
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

I also wanted to say that Noah is almost 7 months old and he almost never naps in they daytime. Sometimes he eats ALOT and some days he will eat next to nothing. This is all completely normal. Again, my philosophy is that if the baby sleeps at night, who cares if they nap in the daytime!!

I hate to sound negative, but if you are having a difficult time coping with all this, you might want to get some help. Maybe get a baby nurse to help you so you can get some time to relax, someone who can help you look after the baby and reassure you that this behavior is all normal. And if you are really struggling, maybe ask your GP if you can see a someone who deals with PPD. Because it is possible (in my eyes) that you are a bit depressed, worrying so much about this is making you down.

We are all telling you the same things, but I don't think you are taking us seriously because you are saying the same things over and over again every time you post. I would stress if the baby is happy in general, you are doing a great job! Stop worrying! Relax!!!

Posted 7/20/06 11:40 AM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

God I am so sorry to be driving all of you nuts. It's just so hard to not worry...I think today I feel a little sad cuz my husband had to go out to long island.

My mom is here but she doesn't understand how I feel.

Posted 7/20/06 12:11 PM
 

preciouslove
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Blank

Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by Marcie

I think there is a number of things you have to do:

1-the pacifier - do you have only one brand?
Is the nipple on the pacifier the same as the bottle. In the beginning Alisons wasn't and we changed so they were the same nipple and now she loves it.

2- with the new pacifier - try giving this to him when he has his hands or fingers in their mouth, you will know if he is hungry or just wants to $**** on something.

3- maybe try changing the bottle that you are using. Maybe he doesn't like the nipple on the bottle.

4- your baby will not eat 4oz at every bottle. Alison at one bottle will be 3 1/2 oz, next might be 2 1/2, next might be 4 oz, next could be 4 3/4. If he is eating - do not have concern about how much he is eating. He is not starving, even if he is eating a little. (as I have said before not every child is a textbook child)

5- about sleeping - they are going to sleep when they want to sleep. The do not care if it is during the day or at night. They could sleep just a couple of hours at night and that is it. Or you can have a child that sleeps a couple of hours during the day. Or you can have a child that sleeps ALL day and night - again - not every child is textbook.

6- I know you said you have a swing, do you put him in it when he is not crying? Do you have any other 'toys'? a bouncy seat? car seat? Try putting him in them when he is not crying and let him hang out in there. He will get used to it and want to hang out in there longer. If you put him in there crying, he may think that is what he is supposed to do in there. Do you have a stroller? Go for walks - cause it seems the both of you need to get out.
Another thing is I just put Ali on the floor under a light and ceiling fan, we put the ceiling fan on low and she lays there and smiles and laughs. You need to figure out the things that will make your baby happy - even if laying on the floor is not your thing.

7- Some babies like to be held. You have to think, you carried him 9+ months - he still needs the comfort that you gave him all that time. It is ok to hold your baby all day if you want to. They need it at this age.

8- and I think this is the last one Chat Icon
STOP stressing - you are doing an AWESOME job. I know you might feel like you are not, but you are. Please you have to enjoy this time, if you are stressed, that could be leading you to have a stressed out baby. They definitely sense it - I know Ali does.





Thanks Marcie. I'll try not to worry unless there is something to worry about.

I just cannot help it...

So you never kept track of how many ounces per day Ali has? Just feed her. And see how much weight she gains?

Posted 7/20/06 12:15 PM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Last night at around 6ish he had 6oz. Then finally fell asleep at around 9:30 am. We never woke him up, he got up at 2 am on his own, now was it normal for him to go from 6-2am without eating? He never once showed signs that he was hungry. See that's what's making me crazy that even after all those hours he went without eating he still had 4. Shoudn't he have hungrier than that? Or shouldn't he have gotten up before that?

Message edited 7/20/2006 12:19:37 PM.

Posted 7/20/06 12:18 PM
 

yankinmanc
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Posted by bedda26

Last night at around 6ish he had 6oz. Then finally fell asleep at around 9:30 am. We never woke him up, he got up at 2 am on his own, now was it normal for him to go from 6-2am without eating? He never once showed signs that he was hungry. See that's what's making me crazy that even after all those hours he went without eating he still had 4. Shoudn't he have hungrier than that? Or shouldn't he have gotten up before that?



That is soooo absolutely normal. You should never wake a baby, its the old saying, Let sleeping dogs lie. Oh and babies.

Again, for the one billionth time...he will eat what he needs to, when he needs to! Just relax!! Its all normal!!!!! Babies don't normally gorge themselves, they hit that full switch and turn their heads away...STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT HE IS EATING!!!! You have gotten this far...he is only 6 weeks old and still trying to figure it all out. Why not try to follow his lead, let him tell you what he wants to do....and again, in the immortal words of Frankie Goes to Hollywood...RELAX.

Posted 7/20/06 12:22 PM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

What I meant to say was 9pm-2am...

I'm trying to relax. I just go nuts when I am by myself. I wish DH didn't have to go to Long Island today. He will be home later tonight at like 10 or 11.

Posted 7/20/06 12:26 PM
 

Bxgell2
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Look, one baby may sleep 10 hours without eating and then graze the whole day, every half hour. Another baby may eat exactly every 2-3 hours a full bottle. Other babies wake every 2-3 hours all day.

My point? In the world of "babyland" there is NO normal. Every baby is different. Think about it! Every adult has their own personality and their own eating/sleeping preferences, and those preferences started at birth! So, try not to compare to other people and other babies. You simply have to find what works for YOUR baby, and the rule of thumb is (1) let your baby take the lead (if that means sleeping from 9pm-2am and then eating, then so be it!), and (2) don't worry unnecessarily! As long as he's having 7 wet diapers and gaining weight, he's FINE.

Seriously, you have nothing to worry about - your baby sounds like he's just fine. And the fact that he's sleeping at 6 weeks from 9pm-2am, you should consider yourself luck!! At six weeks, my baby was still waking up every 1-2 hours ALL DAY LONG!

Honestly, quite a few of us have told you the same thing, but I don't think it's helping you relax in the least bit. I really do think you need to make an appointment with your pediatrician so he/she can discuss this with you and help allay your concerns.

Message edited 7/20/2006 12:35:56 PM.

Posted 7/20/06 12:35 PM
 

Melbernai
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Melissa

Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

See the 9-2 thing as a blessing -- because that means you could be sleeping from 9-2 ... and a sleep deprived momma is never a good thing! It sounds like your baby is starting to get ready to sleep through the night ----and that's a great thing!

Posted 7/20/06 12:43 PM
 

preciouslove
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Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

Yeah but that doesn't mean that he will go right back to sleep. The only way is in bed with me. Which is not a good thing for them to get used to. At least that's what I hear. DH already thinks I made him used it like I did it on purpose or something. I did it cuz it was the only way he would sleep cuz he is afraid to sleep alone when he's in light sleep mode.

So what happens when a baby does not get the required hours of sleep they need? Does anyone's baby here really get the hours of sleep that they are supposed to be getting?

Posted 7/20/06 1:16 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

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Blank

Re: I am at my wits end...don't know what to do anymore

So we finally got him to sleep and when he woke up we gave him a bottle. He doesn't want to eat. He last ate at 10:30 am and he does not want to eat, that's cuz he's overly tired. My mom and I have been trying to feeding him for almost an hour already. We had to stop cuz he pooped (which was a little liquidy) but anyways it took us almost 40 mins just to get him to 3 ounces.

Posted 7/20/06 3:23 PM
 
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