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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
And you are right...ultimately i would want to know if crap was being said about me from someone i genuinely liked and respected!
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Posted 8/2/05 7:44 PM  |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
then she would have done it when it was first said....NOT waiting till she isn't friends with someone..
But either way....if she thinks it is saving someone from a world of hurt, maybe it is worth looking catty about. and maybe it should be said.....There are definitely people i wish i was warned about...
Please. The definition of catty:
cat·ty1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kt)
adj. cat·ti·er, cat·ti·est
Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful: a catty remark.
Catlike; stealthy.
ETA
I hit enter accidently. I am not telling B or C for any cruel, malicious or spiteful reasons. So I dont think being called catty (again and again) really applies.
Message edited 8/2/2005 7:46:54 PM.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:45 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
I dont like people talking about others behind their backs, and so I make sure I never say anything that I wouldnt say to someones face, so I personally would want to be told, since thats how I act...
I mean I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
But like Red, I always feel suspicious about the messenger too.
Ex: Deb said she sat there and said nothing to add/contribute to the story. But in my mind (if she was telling me this about "A"), the wheels would be turning and I would be thinking that maybe she did say something to "A" that was fueling the conversation, thereby making me suspicious of the person telling me the bad news.
I'm not saying she did, I'm just saying that's how I would look at it. And what if B & C confront A and she makes up stories, saying Deb DID say something (not that she did)? It has the potential to go back and forth, and for what reason? I know for myself, when people tell me "A" said this about you, I'm not one that usually blows that sort of stuff off, I would go and find out what "A" said and why. I guess ignorance is bliss for me because the less I know, the less it will bother me.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:45 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
I dont like people talking about others behind their backs, and so I make sure I never say anything that I wouldnt say to someones face, so I personally would want to be told, since thats how I act...
I mean I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
But like Red, I always feel suspicious about the messenger too.
Ex: Deb said she sat there and said nothing to add/contribute to the story. But in my mind (if she was telling me this about "A"), the wheels would be turning and I would be thinking that maybe she did say something to "A" that was fueling the conversation, thereby making me suspicious of the person telling me the bad news.
I'm not saying she did, I'm just saying that's how I would look at it. And what if B & C confront A and she makes up stories, saying Deb DID say something (not that she did)? It has the potential to go back and forth, and for what reason? I know for myself, when people tell me "A" said this about you, I'm not one that usually blows that sort of stuff off, I would go and find out what "A" said and why. I guess ignorance is bliss for me because the less I know, the less it will bother me.
ya know this is true in a way too.
i once told a friend that another friend said some stuff about them, and I only told a little of what was really said, because it was awful...then Those two friends became closer and the person who did all the talking said they never did in the 1st place...made ME look like the bad person, when I was only trying to protect someone I felt close to. BUT then I realized that:
1- the friend who didnt believe me or questioned me, was kinda dumb and couldnt see the truth
and 2- I did the "right thing" bottom line
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:49 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Please. The definition of catty:
cat·ty1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kt)
adj. cat·ti·er, cat·ti·est
Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful: a catty remark.
Catlike; stealthy.
ETA
I hit enter accidently. I am not telling B or C for any cruel, malicious or spiteful reasons. So I dont think being called catty (againa dn again and again) really applies.
Nah catty is the word by your definition that i am looking for...
That you are telling these people out of maliciousness since you are not friends with A.
But like i said....if you are looking out for someones best interest...that you think they would be hurt by A....Then tell them...!
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:50 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
I dont like people talking about others behind their backs, and so I make sure I never say anything that I wouldnt say to someones face, so I personally would want to be told, since thats how I act...
I mean I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
But like Red, I always feel suspicious about the messenger too.
Ex: Deb said she sat there and said nothing to add/contribute to the story. But in my mind (if she was telling me this about "A"), the wheels would be turning and I would be thinking that maybe she did say something to "A" that was fueling the conversation, thereby making me suspicious of the person telling me the bad news.
I'm not saying she did, I'm just saying that's how I would look at it. And what if B & C confront A and she makes up stories, saying Deb DID say something (not that she did)? It has the potential to go back and forth, and for what reason? I know for myself, when people tell me "A" said this about you, I'm not one that usually blows that sort of stuff off, I would go and find out what "A" said and why. I guess ignorance is bliss for me because the less I know, the less it will bother me.
ya know this is true in a way too.
i once told a friend that another friend said some stuff about them, and I only told a little of what was really said, because it was awful...then Those two friends became closer and the person who did all the talking said they never did in the 1st place...made ME look like the bad person, when I was only trying to protect someone I felt close to. BUT then I realized that:
1- the friend who didnt believe me or questioned me, was kinda dumb and couldnt see the truth
and 2- I did the "right thing" bottom line
I've been burned that way numerous times (inlaw related). My SIL (husband's brothers wife) could talk all the smack she wanted about MIL. I used to confide in her and talk it as well, because hey, there was ALOT to talk about So what happens??? SIL and MIL became bestest buddies and SIL decides to fill MIL in on my feelings. Completely omits her own comments. I get into rip rawring fight with MIL, and "share" some of SIL's comments; comments that I could have never imagined or guessed because they were specific and personal to SIL and MIL's situations, etc. THAT didn't matter, even though they were 1,000x worse than anything I said. SIL was vindicated and I was labeled the black sheep. Even to this day, SIL is still favored, etc. So slimy people have a way of turning the tables on you and bringing the drama TO you even if you didn't say boo.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:56 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
Please. The definition of catty:
cat·ty1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kt)
adj. cat·ti·er, cat·ti·est
Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful: a catty remark.
Catlike; stealthy.
ETA
I hit enter accidently. I am not telling B or C for any cruel, malicious or spiteful reasons. So I dont think being called catty (againa dn again and again) really applies.
Nah catty is the word by your definition that i am looking for...
That you are telling these people out of maliciousness since you are not friends with A.
But like i said....if you are looking out for someones best interest...that you think they would be hurt by A....Then tell them...!
I don't know where you got that I was doing it to be malicious. I said that they were becoming closer and I wanted to let B and C know what they were getting into..just so they know and don't get hurt like I did....how is that malicious exactly?
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:01 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Palebride
I think if I were friend B or C...i would want to know what A said about me.
Just so that I would know what kind of a person A was, and I would know to stay away from them.
this is more along the lines of what I was thinking.
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:05 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Nah catty is the word by your definition that i am looking for...
That you are telling these people out of maliciousness since you are not friends with A.
But like i said....if you are looking out for someones best interest...that you think they would be hurt by A....Then tell them...!
I don't know where you got that I was doing it to be malicious. I said that they were becoming closer and I wanted to let B and C know what they were getting into..just so they know and don't get hurt like I did....how is that malicious exactly?
I didn't think you were....WHAT I AM SAYING is that it CAN look like you are doing it out of revenge...Since you waited until you weren't friends to "tell".
LIKE I SAID...when a friend told me what was said about me....it was done to her convenience...NOT when it ws first said. And ultmiately it made me think the person is doing it spitefully.
JMHO!
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:08 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Sticky Situation
I think it depends on a few things:
a. the manner in which it is said
b. the person (you) doing the telling
c. the people getting the news
ultimately, you're the only one in control of those things.....I know you can tell them in an appropriate way, without making yourself out as a mean spiteful person.....but it all depends on how you think the people you're telling will take it.
It is a tough situation 
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:12 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
..when a friend told me what was said about me....it was done to her convenience...NOT when it ws first said. And ultmiately it made me think the person is doing it spitefully.
JMHO!
what if you were wrong? And they were trying to help you? Although if you thought that about the friend and what they did, you were probably not good friends anyway.
I dont think your situation compares to hers, but you keep bringing it up...
I dont think Deb would be catty, but I guess you never know how someone else will view you...So Deb if friends B And C are mature adults and will understand why your telling them, then thats the time when if in your shoes I would tell.
Message edited 8/2/2005 8:16:28 PM.
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:15 PM |
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MrsInfamousOTG
LIF Infant
Member since 8/05 53 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Moehick
Better let old bitches lie dormant and not rehash trash
exactly
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:18 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
what if you were wrong? And they were trying to help you? Although if you thought that about the friend and what they did, you were probably not good friends anyway.
I dont think your situation compares to hers, but you keep bringing it up...
I dont think Deb would be catty, but I guess you never know how someone else will view you...So Deb if friends B And C are mature adults and will understand why your telling them, then thats the time when if in your shoes I would tell.
i bring it up because it was MY experience with it...That someone TOLD me something someone said when THEY didn't like the person that did that talking NOT WHEN it was FIRST SAID! AND I actually believe the person was telling me the TRUTH. But it was the fact that it was brought to my attention well after the fact.
AND i dont' think Deb would be catty. BUT can LOOK catty, ESPECIALLY since it wasn't told to them immediately....
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:20 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Palebride
I think it depends on a few things:
a. the manner in which it is said
b. the person (you) doing the telling
c. the people getting the news
ultimately, you're the only one in control of those things.....I know you can tell them in an appropriate way, without making yourself out as a mean spiteful person.....but it all depends on how you think the people you're telling will take it.
It is a tough situation
i agree! figuring out some of those factors can be VERY trick...and even though you may have the best intentions it may not look that way to others....
AND LIKE I SAID....If you know in your heart that you are trying to save someone from being HURT.....Tell them...
If they end up turning on you....at least you have peace of mind that you did the right thing.
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:23 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
what if you were wrong? And they were trying to help you? Although if you thought that about the friend and what they did, you were probably not good friends anyway.
I dont think your situation compares to hers, but you keep bringing it up...
I dont think Deb would be catty, but I guess you never know how someone else will view you...So Deb if friends B And C are mature adults and will understand why your telling them, then thats the time when if in your shoes I would tell.
i bring it up because it was MY experience with it...That someone TOLD me something someone said when THEY didn't like the person that did that talking NOT WHEN it was FIRST SAID! AND I actually believe the person was telling me the TRUTH. But it was the fact that it was brought to my attention well after the fact.
AND i dont' think Deb would be catty. BUT can LOOK catty, ESPECIALLY since it wasn't told to them immediately....
gotcha  Maybe you were wrong though...MY experience has been that when its he said she said, sometimes you dont know the truth when it hits ya in the face, and maybe in YOUR situation the friend was trying not to hurt you by not telling you when it first happened? Kinda like Debs situation now that you explain it more, I do see a small comparision...you didnt explain before.
I have been there though, in the SAME situation you describe..I told someone something someone they were friends with said, and I only told them the half of it because I didnt want them to know the whole truth, it was petty stuff told to me and I thought the friend would be really hurt if they knew the WHOLE truth....So when I saw them becoming close to the person who talked often about them, I told a part of it to warn them...LIKE deb wants to do...I in MY situation did it to try and help the friend .
So actually maybe in your situation the friend was trying to spare you all that happened? You just dont know...which is the chance Deb will take.
I know in my situation I would do it again, I would always wanna spare someone from getting hurt....
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:26 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Sticky Situation
OMG!!!! 
who's on first, what's on second, i don't know is on third, and who gives a flying fig is on home plate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/2/05 8:30 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Wanted to let you all know that friends B and C found out what kind of friend A is...without me having to say a word!
I feel so much better now.
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| Posted 8/9/05 12:55 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Sticky Situation
I wouldnt tell B and C anything. Let it go...and forget about it. It may help yuo feel better telling them but it's not going to make B and C feel any better. Consider yourself lucky you dont have to deal with A anymore and put it behind you.
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| Posted 8/9/05 1:10 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Kathy...see above post...it's ended now.
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| Posted 8/9/05 1:14 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Wanted to let you all know that friends B and C found out what kind of friend A is...without me having to say a word!
I feel so much better now.
perfect!
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| Posted 8/9/05 2:24 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by MrsERod
OMG!!!!
who's on first, what's on second, i don't know is on third, and who gives a flying fig is on home plate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i'll quote myself again, just b/c i need to say it again.
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| Posted 8/9/05 2:36 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Wanted to let you all know that friends B and C found out what kind of friend A is...without me having to say a word!
I feel so much better now.
Ooooh Deb! See, things have a way of working out! I'm glad you didn't have to say anything yourself! This was perfect!
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| Posted 8/9/05 2:38 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by MrsERod
Posted by MrsERod
OMG!!!!
who's on first, what's on second, i don't know is on third, and who gives a flying fig is on home plate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i'll quote myself again, just b/c i need to say it again.
Why?  Why do you need to say it again?
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| Posted 8/9/05 3:53 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Sticky Situation
why is the left fielder's name
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| Posted 8/9/05 3:54 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Posted by MrsERod
Posted by MrsERod
OMG!!!!
who's on first, what's on second, i don't know is on third, and who gives a flying fig is on home plate!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i'll quote myself again, just b/c i need to say it again.
Why? Why do you need to say it again?
b/c that's how i feel.
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| Posted 8/9/05 3:57 PM |
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