Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

This woman wont stop...!!!! As usual trying to get me to go out... im so freakin so of it its not funny!

I just thought Id share a little blurb from an email...

"if you guys get the outfit right away, then you can go out later on....I am sure the baby will be tired by then too, and I can get him ready for bed and stuff and you guys and just go have a drink or something. Whatever you guys decide is fine with me..."

" he starts getting cranky or he is tired of travelling, you can always drop him off at the house and you girls can continue shopping."

I responded with this: "not go out shopping... go "out-out"... which im not doing.... I dont like to leave him, however when I do want to go out..Ill let you know... i know your always willing, (please dont take this the wrong way) but the constant reminder makes me feel pushed out the door, I simply just wanna be with my son!"

How did i do?

Message edited 11/4/2005 9:31:27 PM.

Re: Grrrrr...

Who wrote you that?

Re: Grrrrr...

and let me add:

How many time did you go out alone (or left the baby with a "sitter" "grandparent" or whatever... the first month of your childs life???

Dh and I have been out to dinner...6 times already, not to mention the couple times hes been left with her so I could run an errand..( he has stayed with my mom a few of those times too) This is more than once a week since he's been born... and each n everytime I went kicking n screaming, because i did not wanna go, and she made me feel as if i had too....

Re: Grrrrr...

Message edited 11/3/2005 10:52:17 AM.

Re: Grrrrr...

Don't feel bad-my daughter is 14 months old and I still hate to leave her!

Re: Grrrrr...

Posted by Princessmaris

Posted by fjbaby

Who wrote you that?

My wonderful MIL

Re: Grrrrr...

Listen I didn't leave my daughter at all when she was a month old I couldn't and I didn't want to I had to leave her for a week with ym mom when she was 2 months old cuz both FH and I came down with a virus and we didn't want her to get it and I tell you that was rough on me.

Yeah its great to know that your MIL is willing at any time to watch the baby but when your ready and when you need her too this constant naggin is going to turn you off and your not going to want to leave the baby with her when you decide to go out and do things. I don 't understand MIL lately

Re: Grrrrr...

Sorry you are still having trouble!! She needs to sit back and understand that you just don't want to leave him!!! Hopefully she will back off soon!!! Good luck to you!! Your resonse I feel was fine!! Hope things get better!!!

Re: Grrrrr...

Wow - that is crazy.....

Re: Grrrrr...

That is nuts!! In the first month I left my baby ONCE. My MIL was up from NC and she offered to watch him so we could go out to dinner.

Not that there's anything wrong at all with leaving them more often than that at that age but at that age all you want to DO is be with them. She had children of her own...how does she not understand this!!

I feel so bad for you...this would be driving me nuts.

Re: Grrrrr...

Wow...I feel for you....

Re: Grrrrr...

Wow! How annoying for you! I think your email was good, and hopefully she will get the message. If not, I'd just tell her, you will call HER when you need her to watch the baby otherwise assume you do not need a sitter. Tell her you appreciate all she does, but you know what is best for you and your baby and being home is what you want to do!

Re: Grrrrr...

I got an e-mail from my MIL recently that said something to that affect also, but she added " I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND, you need to tell me when you need help!" - Are you kidding me, who said I need help, I'm quite capable and you don't need to yell
I feel your pain!

Re: Grrrrr...

So did she reply anything to this email?

Re: Grrrrr...

No!

She dosent check her email everyday...so who knows when shes gonna get it..

Now of course her daughter is coming here this weekend...so Ive got a fun filled weekend with the inlaws

Not that its stopped her from calling here, 3 times today to invite herself over... We are gonna see eachother all weeekend... why cant we just eat our dinner and be alone tonight...
(shes already been her 2xs this week )

Re: Grrrrr...

Apparently she didnt get my email

I called her back and left a msg saying we didnt know if we would be around tonight...but she could call us when she got home..

WELL- she calls here just now- and since it was a beep I guess I didnt say hello right away-I overhear her saying to my FIL.. "Ooo yea not home....you just called nine minutes ago..ha" I then responded with Ummm hello????

She then says "I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE BABY HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE TONIGHT... I said NO... IM TAKING MY SON WITH ME...THANK YOU... she got a little taken back...but oh well....

After hearing her remark b4 I answered- my blood just started to boil...Why me?????

Re: Grrrrr...

What a snotty old rag. Nothing like jabbing that knife in your back AS she is calling you! And for her to be so G-dam insistant that you leave the baby with her is so freakin' outrageous.

Gimme her #...I'll tell her to go blow it out her a$$

Re: Grrrrr...

omg...this woman is something else.... ambersmom said it best...


I feel for you!!

Where does your DH stand in all this??

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

ok-so after all this I finally got an email back...it says:


I am sorry.....my offering to babysit is a purley selfish one...it just gives me and **** some time to play with him and visit. When we come over we don't stay long because we know it's family time. I know how busy you are during the day with morning routines, errands and you hang with your mom; and then nights are for Ryan to see him, and Sunday's are your family days. So, it doesn't give us much time to visit with him. I just offer because I am selfish, and over protective and would love to be playing with him then him being in some restaurant or shopping....

I KNOW how you feel about leaving him...every mom feels that way...but now that we are grandparents, we can't help but want to play with him and see him as much as we can.

I appologize for making you feel 'rushed out the door'.

Ok, gotta run. Talk to you later.. KISSES AND HUGS FROM GRANDMA AND GRANDPA

I wanted so badly to right back...being overprotective from what....ME????? Ahhh she makes me so mad... I didnt write back...Im unsure of what to say, or if I even should...

She sees him min. about 3 times a week... (there's 7 days in a week... we have my family, friends and our private time too...I dont think Im depriving her of seeing him) I just cant help but wonder why me...

I had DH handle this once before, and IT WAS UGLY!!!! and although HE was the one who said the things he said.. it all got turned around on me...that Im turning her son against her... so now I dont even involve him, because it just makes more problems for me!! He simply feels when she pisses me off... tell her right then and there... Im not disrespectful in anyway so I always felt uncomfortable doing that...but lately Ive def. gotten my point across (or at least tried too)

and good advice for me?

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

And let me just add...She works during the day...so in the email she tries to make it sound like I dont let her come see him during the day cuz Im running errands or with my mom...

However thats not the case at all.... She and her husband both work... and I see my mom about twice a week... but she dosent need to be alone with the baby...She wants to see me..seeing the baby too is a bonus in her eyes.... ALSO- with my dad being gone, and my mom being alone (and pretty depressed-yes I do tend to spend a long time there those 2 days a week... BUT it is when DH, MIL, and FIL are working.... I miss my mom-me going there has nothing to do with the baby...as much as it is... I go there for me... (not that I should have to justify that to MIL anyways---

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

Wow. No advice, but I can't believe she's turning it into her being a martyr and you being selfish of her time with him. I bet she thinks that by saying it that way you will feel bad and just drop him off there.

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

sorry to say and agree that your mil is a wench! She surely is being selfish- in ALOT of ways. One being that she is causing you such stress when you really don't need it. You should just let her know once and for all, that if you need her to babysit, you will ask. And to mind her own business. Otherwise there is no sence asking. I feel for you. My mil is an a--h---!

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

good for you in getting your point out to her! Your situation reminds me of my mil and the sh*t I went through. I hated the first year or 2 w/ mil after having my daughter. I pretty much kept my mouth shut through it all- but to this day I'd love to lay it into her. My daughter is now 4 and as terrible as it may sound, we(me AND dh) are no longer on speaking terms with them and I'm quite happy with it

Re: Grrrrr...UPDATE SHE WROTE BACK..

I'm glad that she got your point in your e-mail...and how you told her how it is over the phone...

I don't know if there's anything more to say to her. Apparently, she doesn't take NO for an answer and will come at you in every way for you to try to get Ryan over her house. Just keep staying busy and try to get your visits down to 2 or even 1 time a week. As for her phone calls, I hope you have caller id, and keep avoiding her. If she asks next time she sees you, why you don't pick up the phone or why you don't come around, then you'll have to tell her again what you've been telling her all along.

I can understand how you feel about going over your mom's and spending more time with her. I do the same thing and have to hear through my DH (from his mom) that I spend most of my time with my parents and that's why the baby knows them better. To me, it's none of their godd*mn business what I do.

A lot of things that I hear, I have to learn to let them go in one ear and out the other. Or else you'll make yourself crazy!

If her $hit doesn't stop you're going to have to sit down like adults and talk it out as a family.

If that doesn't work...give Ambers' Mom her number and she'll give her a good talking to...