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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
I know we would all love to be generous with our friends and family, but if you have that many weddings/showers/parties, etc in such a short period of time you might want to give a smaller monetary gift or some of your time. Volunteer to babysit for the new mom and dad. Do you tithe? That, is a personal decision, but could be where your $$ are going. Also, check out how many minutes you are using on you cell phones. Do you get every channel on cable? Unfortunately in NY/LI 180K is not what it used to be. One can certainly live well on less, but if you want the latest and greatest of everything it will cost $$$$. It is so sad that NY costs so much.
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Posted 10/9/06 10:03 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:04 PM |
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Nancy
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 906 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
DH and i bring lunch EVERYDAY!! I hate going out anyway bc i feel rushed!! We just always have so many parties, weddings, bdays and gift buying. IT NEVER ENDS!! Its like $100-$300 each time!! This month alone we have 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, and a 1st bday party!! W T F???
We are cutting down eating out bc that was something we did alot.
I do buy my coffee but thats only 3x a week bc some mornings i just dont want it.
I do have a HUGE student loan paymt but my dad (thank god) pays half. We have NO credit cards (well one but we bought our TV and BBQ on it and its like practically paid off- 3 mons to go....)
How the heck im buying Xmas gifts I will never know.....
DH give each other $100 a week for "play money". I automatically take $50 and put it aside for his party. That leaves me w/ a whopping $50 for a week. URRRR 
We have the same expenses and only live on one salary and have two children. We make a *heck* of a lot less. Although, years ago, I would have said there was nothing we could have cut to save money and low and behold, there were plenty of things. Unfortunately, I think if you earn more, you will probably spend more (it's human nature.)
There are plenty of ways to save money, you just have to read up and analyze.
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:15 PM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by conigs25
Posted by Meaghan729
No DH and i can def. meet our bills w/ no worries. Its just we have nothing leftover. I mean dont get me wrong, we aremt eating from cans , its just that i would like to be able to get myself something when i want it (and im not always talking about $123 item.)
if you make $180K and have nothing left over, you must have a lot of bills, no? There are pleanty of us on here that make way less than that and can save.
there are great articles on yahoo finance about personal finances- one of them recently talked about "the latte factor"- adding up if you went to starbucks everyday and had a latte, if you saved it instead how much you would have in a year (it was thousands!)
for instance, I bring lunch to work 4x per week - I save $160 a month by doing that - that is my car insurance and cell for the month.
DH and i bring lunch EVERYDAY!! I hate going out anyway bc i feel rushed!! We just always have so many parties, weddings, bdays and gift buying. IT NEVER ENDS!! Its like $100-$300 each time!! This month alone we have 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, and a 1st bday party!! W T F???
We are cutting down eating out bc that was something we did alot.
I do buy my coffee but thats only 3x a week bc some mornings i just dont want it.
I do have a HUGE student loan paymt but my dad (thank god) pays half. We have NO credit cards (well one but we bought our TV and BBQ on it and its like practically paid off- 3 mons to go....)
How the heck im buying Xmas gifts I will never know.....
DH give each other $100 a week for "play money". I automatically take $50 and put it aside for his party. That leaves me w/ a whopping $50 for a week. URRRR
If you make $180k, have no credit cards......I don't know where your money is going? 
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:20 PM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by Tumbalina
Posted by conigs25
Posted by Meaghan729
No DH and i can def. meet our bills w/ no worries. Its just we have nothing leftover. I mean dont get me wrong, we aremt eating from cans , its just that i would like to be able to get myself something when i want it (and im not always talking about $123 item.)
if you make $180K and have nothing left over, you must have a lot of bills, no? There are pleanty of us on here that make way less than that and can save.
there are great articles on yahoo finance about personal finances- one of them recently talked about "the latte factor"- adding up if you went to starbucks everyday and had a latte, if you saved it instead how much you would have in a year (it was thousands!)
for instance, I bring lunch to work 4x per week - I save $160 a month by doing that - that is my car insurance and cell for the month.
DH and i bring lunch EVERYDAY!! I hate going out anyway bc i feel rushed!! We just always have so many parties, weddings, bdays and gift buying. IT NEVER ENDS!! Its like $100-$300 each time!! This month alone we have 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, and a 1st bday party!! W T F???
We are cutting down eating out bc that was something we did alot.
I do buy my coffee but thats only 3x a week bc some mornings i just dont want it.
I do have a HUGE student loan paymt but my dad (thank god) pays half. We have NO credit cards (well one but we bought our TV and BBQ on it and its like practically paid off- 3 mons to go....)
How the heck im buying Xmas gifts I will never know.....
DH give each other $100 a week for "play money". I automatically take $50 and put it aside for his party. That leaves me w/ a whopping $50 for a week. URRRR
If you make $180k, have no credit cards......I don't know where your money is going?
Like i said, its not that we have NOTHING, i just feel like i should be able to have some leftover and some money in my wallet and i never seem to. O cant even buy myself a new shirt unless i wait a few wks each time
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:22 PM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
maybe like someone else said, spend a bit less on shower gifts etc, if that is possible?
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| Posted 10/9/06 10:36 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
i think the gift giving is killing you. have you ever thought about giving less?
also, write down your expenses. i used to think, 'ah, i dont spend that much'. but then one week DH and i wrote down what we pay for stuff. $3 here and $3 there adds up....
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| Posted 10/10/06 6:02 AM |
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AimeeE2006
Time flies!
Member since 1/06 5698 total posts
Name:
Aimee
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Don't be depressed. Alot of us on here don't have combined salaries of anywhere near $180K with our DH's. You guys must be spending your money somewhere...definitely take a good look at where your money is going.
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| Posted 10/10/06 7:52 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
I made an error. I kept writing $180k, it should be almost $160k
Message edited 10/10/2006 8:04:21 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:04 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
did you fill out a new form where your tax status is married? that helps
im not sure why you are in this predicament if you make as much as you say? that sounds weird!
are you paying off loans and car payments? it just doesnt sound right
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:04 AM |
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Do you have to go to all the weddings that you get invited to? Maybe you can decline a few invitations and send a gift. I feel that nomatter what you give if you aren't going is a generous gift. Also do you need to buy new dresses for the weddings, maybe you can barrow someones or wear ones that you have at home (I know that can get expensive also) . We changed our cable package to basic to save some money and do not have a high cell phone plan since I hardly use it but it is also a family plan which is alot less than individual ones. Instead of having a big party for your DH maybe have just a dinner. I know my DH wanted a 30th blash secretly but I didn't want to spend the money since it was a month before christmas and our birthdays are 3 days apart and I was pg. so any extra money we saved we use while I am home now. I remember reading somewhere (it might have been here actually) that you should track your spending for the last 3 months and then come up with a budget that way. I guess if you give yourself an allowence in certain areas you dont feel you are depriving yourself of stuff you want but you have to be within limit.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:06 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
I feel your pain somedays. Its tough to not be able to spend, spend, spend when you've worked so hard to complete your multiple degrees and make good money. You have no CC debt! That's a good thing!!! Living within your means isn't fun but it pays off!! My DH and I make great money, but we have to save and scrimp just like everyone. I remind myself that my bigger goals are worth more than the new turtlenecks I'd love to have-but it is hard, I'd sure like some new T-necks! Don't get down though! You're doing great and eventually you will be able to spend more on you!
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:10 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by Seles81
Do you have to go to all the weddings that you get invited to? Maybe you can decline a few invitations and send a gift. I feel that nomatter what you give if you aren't going is a generous gift. Also do you need to buy new dresses for the weddings, maybe you can barrow someones or wear ones that you have at home (I know that can get expensive also) . We changed our cable package to basic to save some money and do not have a high cell phone plan since I hardly use it but it is also a family plan which is alot less than individual ones. Instead of having a big party for your DH maybe have just a dinner. I know my DH wanted a 30th blash secretly but I didn't want to spend the money since it was a month before christmas and our birthdays are 3 days apart and I was pg. so any extra money we saved we use while I am home now. I remember reading somewhere (it might have been here actually) that you should track your spending for the last 3 months and then come up with a budget that way. I guess if you give yourself an allowence in certain areas you dont feel you are depriving yourself of stuff you want but you have to be within limit.
Those are great suggestions. THANKS 
As for the weddings, they are all family so we couldnt decline and DH was a groomsman in one. URRR!!!
We have been good at keeping track of our spending so like you said, it will help so we cna see a pattern to this.
As for dresses, nope, i havent bought anything new. Luckily we had some fall weddings last year so i already had dresses for this season.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:11 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by MrsPorkChop
did you fill out a new form where your tax status is married? that helps
im not sure why you are in this predicament if you make as much as you say? that sounds weird!
are you paying off loans and car payments? it just doesnt sound right
Well i have a hefty student loan but my dad does pay half. Other than taht, we have normal bills. We decided this morningt otake some of the wedding money and pay off the credit card (only had $2000 on it) but thatll free up some moeny
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:12 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by conigs25
We just always have so many parties, weddings, bdays and gift buying. IT NEVER ENDS!! Its like $100-$300 each time!! This month alone we have 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, and a 1st bday party!! W T F???
WHOA. I admit I was wondering where your money was going until I read that. I can easily see the amount spent going over 1k for all of those events- especially if you are in the bridal party for any of those weddings.
To cut back:
-Decline the bridal parties, unless its family and you guys are VERY close
-Talk to your DH and have a set amount for gifts for friends and family, and stick to it.
I hope that helps a little bit.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:15 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by MrsBlueSash
I feel your pain somedays. Its tough to not be able to spend, spend, spend when you've worked so hard to complete your multiple degrees and make good money. You have no CC debt! That's a good thing!!! Living within your means isn't fun but it pays off!! My DH and I make great money, but we have to save and scrimp just like everyone. I remind myself that my bigger goals are worth more than the new turtlenecks I'd love to have-but it is hard, I'd sure like some new T-necks! Don't get down though! You're doing great and eventually you will be able to spend more on you!
You are right!! Dh and i put ALOT into our 403B plus, i carry our health insurance AND i took out a plan w/ AFLAK ($45 every check). I may never need it but if i did.......
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:17 AM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Okay, I am sorry you're depressed over this (trust me I've been there) and I don't want to sound harsh but YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES!!! There is absolutely NO way that with your income and a co-op (that apparently is reasonable) that you cannot come out every month saving money!
DH and I are on a MUCH tighter budget then you, have co-op expenses as well etc. and come out each month saving money because we are very cautious with how we spend.
You can totally come back from this. I really think you both need to sit down and REALLY think of some serious cutbacks like the previous posters suggested.
Good luck
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:24 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by azoodie
Okay, I am sorry you're depressed over this (trust me I've been there) and I don't want to sound harsh but YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES!!! There is absolutely NO way that with your income and a co-op (that apparently is reasonable) that you cannot come out every month saving money!
DH and I are on a MUCH tighter budget then you, have co-op expenses as well etc. and come out each month saving money because we are very cautious with how we spend.
You can totally come back from this. I really think you both need to sit down and REALLY think of some serious cutbacks like the previous posters suggested.
Good luck
Ive always been so good w/ money.Ima "balance my checkbook-aholic". I ALWAYS know what is going in and what is coming out. Each check we put the minimum of $100 in savings (that only equals $400 a month though)
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:27 AM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by conigs25
Posted by azoodie
Okay, I am sorry you're depressed over this (trust me I've been there) and I don't want to sound harsh but YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES!!! There is absolutely NO way that with your income and a co-op (that apparently is reasonable) that you cannot come out every month saving money!
DH and I are on a MUCH tighter budget then you, have co-op expenses as well etc. and come out each month saving money because we are very cautious with how we spend.
You can totally come back from this. I really think you both need to sit down and REALLY think of some serious cutbacks like the previous posters suggested.
Good luck
Ive always been so good w/ money.Ima "balance my checkbook-aholic". I ALWAYS know what is going in and what is coming out. Each check we put the minimum of $100 in savings (that only equals $400 a month though)
It's good that your saving something! So I don't get it? I know your saving 50 dollars a week for DHs party, but if you take your lunch everyday what do you guys spend 150 a week on?
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:31 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
if you're clearing over $100K a yr after taxes, unless you have an insanely high mortgage and debt, I don't see where the money would be going.
if you're going to a lot of weddings and showers, then your financial situation will be changing soon right? after the weddings are over, you should be ok.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:36 AM |
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HollaGirl
Merry Christmas !!!
Member since 10/06 3308 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by conigs25
I got a raise this year for completeing my 60 credits above my masters. My first 2 checks didnt have the new amt in it, but this past friday i rec'd a retroactice check and my increase in my pay.
It was MUCH less than DH and i expected!! Im being taxed HARD and i just DO NOT understand how DH and i can make a combined salary of $160k and still have NOTHING LEFT!!
We own a co-op and our mortgage/maintance isnt all that much (i dont know what we would do if we had a house)
I NEED to make some side money!! I booked a party for Dhs 30th bday (a surprise) and now i dont think i will be able to pay for it!! I thought by now thta i would have some tutorings!!! I have NO money left at the end of the week.
I think its PATHETIC that i cant even get myself a pait of Uggs that i want (only $123!!!!)
Anyone feel my pain?? 
Honestly, someone who makes 50K combined may be able to feel your pain, but with a 6 figure income coming in, I just cant see how you cannot afford a new pair of boots.
You really need to sit back and look at where you are spending your money.
I look at everything I spend my money on, and believe me, sometimes I just cant believe how fast money goes. Just last week I added up my weekly expenses, and realized where I need to cut back.
I think you and DH should do a little experiment. Write down EVERY penny you spend for the next month, and you will find where your money is going, where you can cut back, and where you can cut out completely.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:38 AM |
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conigs25
So in love with this kid!
Member since 5/06 11197 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by azoodie
Posted by conigs25
Posted by azoodie
Okay, I am sorry you're depressed over this (trust me I've been there) and I don't want to sound harsh but YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES!!! There is absolutely NO way that with your income and a co-op (that apparently is reasonable) that you cannot come out every month saving money!
DH and I are on a MUCH tighter budget then you, have co-op expenses as well etc. and come out each month saving money because we are very cautious with how we spend.
You can totally come back from this. I really think you both need to sit down and REALLY think of some serious cutbacks like the previous posters suggested.
Good luck
Ive always been so good w/ money.Ima "balance my checkbook-aholic". I ALWAYS know what is going in and what is coming out. Each check we put the minimum of $100 in savings (that only equals $400 a month though)
It's good that your saving something! So I don't get it? I know your saving 50 dollars a week for DHs party, but if you take your lunch everyday what do you guys spend 150 a week on?
he says he doesnt use his $100 "play money" bc he gets $75 a week in cash for tutoring. Right now its in his personal acct for xmas. He said not to give him $100 anymore. So that will help too
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:41 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
have you thought about seeing a financial advisor?
eta: Have you read any of Suze Orman's books? (dont buy it - save your $$ and get it from your library!) I would suggest Young, Fabulous, and Broke. its a great book. There is also another one - the 9(?) steps to financial freedom.
Message edited 10/10/2006 8:49:31 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/06 8:48 AM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
Posted by HollaGirl
You really need to sit back and look at where you are spending your money.
I look at everything I spend my money on, and believe me, sometimes I just cant believe how fast money goes. Just last week I added up my weekly expenses, and realized where I need to cut back.
I think you and DH should do a little experiment. Write down EVERY penny you spend for the next month, and you will find where your money is going, where you can cut back, and where you can cut out completely.
I agree ... DH and I do a reality check every three months to make sure we are on target for our future goals and plans.
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:12 AM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Guys Im really depressed
 im sorry! ...that is the same situation we were in ...we eventually realized it was to expensive for us to live on LI ....just remember its always darkest before the light!
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| Posted 10/10/06 9:15 AM |
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