What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I was raised in an environment where we could pretty much say whatever we wanted.

We were always taught that they were "just words" but also taught to use them with care.

For example, I could say "F@#$" if I hurt myself, but I wasn't allowed to say "F@#$ You" to my parents.

DH on the other hand was NEVER allowed to curse - still now his Mom is about as G rated as it gets.

When you combine our familes it's always interesting.

I plan to take my family's philosophy with DS. Understand that those words can hurt someone, but not make a HUGE deal if they are used.

Just curious as to everyone else's thoughts on how you will deal with it with your kids?

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

hmmm, good question. I do not think children should be using curse words, I was never allowed to and I plan to teach my dd that there are certain words that we just don't say

now, If I could get DH to clean up his dirty mouth, we would be fine

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Posted by Mikismom

hmmm, good question. I do not think children should be using curse words, I was never allowed to and I plan to teach my dd that there are certain words that we just don't say

now, If I could get DH to clean up his dirty mouth, we would be fine

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

My children arent allowed to say bad words ....they dont say Hate,stupid,idiot or shut up either

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

They can't say them. I try to follow suit but definitely need to work on it. They know if I've said something it's serious or someone is definitely getting in trouble.

I was taught it was poor education - in other words, lack of vocabulary.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

My husband and I both curse. Him more than me. we don't allow our children to curse. BUT i know my 15 year old DS does with his friends. My darling 10 year old son tells me. I laugh, when my kids were little I never even liked stupid, shut up etc. Boy have things changed.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Posted by Mikismom

hmmm, good question. I do not think children should be using curse words, I was never allowed to and I plan to teach my dd that there are certain words that we just don't say

now, If I could get DH to clean up his dirty mouth, we would be fine

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

i was raised in a similar environment as you. my mother hated euphemisms and went so far as to tell me that it's "sh!t, not shoot" and "fu%@, not fudge" but i never had a potty mouth...well...at least not as a kid

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I guess I fall into the category of people that think sometimes a curse word is needed to get your point across...Does that make sense?

Truth is I have a mouth like a truck driver when I speak about something Im passionate about. So while I wish I could say that I teach my kids not to use bad words that would make me a bit of a hypocrite. That to me is worse than the occassional foul word.

Generally speaking I teach my kids to be polite, use appropriate grammar, proper etiquette, and manners. I worry more about words like "hate", "stupid", "idiot", "retarded", etc...I think they can be far more scarring in the long run.

The twins are at the age where sneaking in the occassional foul word is a novelty for them. I look at as a time to teach them what is and isnt appropriate rather than telling them simply that we dont use that type of language at all...

Message edited 12/3/2008 12:43:48 PM.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I think it is inappropriate for children to use bad words and I will not allow it. I will also discourage the use of words like "hate", "stupid", etc.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I wasn't allowed to curse when I was younger (or swear as it's referred to where I grew up). If I say "jerk" while I'm driving, Nicholas chimes in and reminds me that I said a "bad" word. This coming from the child that in K was calling a classmate a c**tsucker Fortunately that was just a week long phase! (thanks to little Johnnie!)

So to answer your question, no curse words will be allowed regardless of the context.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

GOOD question. I was raised like you were and probably how we will raise our son. I would like to watch our mouths as much as possible now as he is a child but as he grows up, I would never freak out over the use of those words, they are simply words, but I hope by then I will have been able to instill in his the understanding of when and where these things are accepted , if ever and when and where to be careful not to offend.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

if eryks first word isn't a polish expletive, it will be an english one

DH and I sometimes are sooo bad. we really have to learn to censor ourselves.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

No cursing for us (most of the time and never around DD) or for DD, I don't like it and I find it inappropriate.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Posted by Mikismom

hmmm, good question. I do not think children should be using curse words, I was never allowed to and I plan to teach my dd that there are certain words that we just don't say

now, If I could get DH to clean up his dirty mouth, we would be fine

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I was raised with NO cursing or bad words allowed for any reason.

Of course, now I say so many bad words it's really bad. I also speak in a "foreign" language so it does not help. I feel they don't have the full weight of what they mean. I still do not say one bad word in my native language.

I have to really watch myself. DH is bad too but not as bad as me. Sometimes he counts how many times I said the F word in a conversation/sentence.

Obviously, I have to watch myself.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I think there are worse things in life then "bad words"

I never used them till I started living with Leo. His mouth is horrible.

He's gotten better, thank God.

But, I think in fairness to the kid, if its said about a fall or something in class...I would hate for him to get in trouble over that...how do you know when to turn it off and on?

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I cannot stand cursing and my DH and I rarely use profanity but DH will say words like idiot and sometime we'll slip and say "Oh Sh!t". I would be appalled if my child was using the F word.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

I don't curse in front of children and I don't take kindly to those who do. Too bad if you think that is a judgement. I simply think its not necessary.

There are words and phrases that are not curses, but not nice to hear. I try not to say those either.

That is not to say that I don't curse at all, but NEVER in front of children. I can turn it off everyday from 8:40 - 2:30 when I am at work when I teach - I have to or I lose my job. It is just as easy not to curse when children are around in other places as well.

I am always conscious of who is around me when I think I might say something that could be interpreted as offensive. HOWEVER, I pride myself in being able to choose my words carefully and if need be, I can cut a person down in a VERY harsh way without using foul language while maintaining dignity and class.

ETA:
If I cursed in my house growing up, my head would be rolling from the smack I'd have gotten! Needless to say I was never hit.

Message edited 12/3/2008 5:54:28 PM.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Curse words will not be allowed. Like every other word in the English language, they have a meaning and connotation, both of which are negative, and many times, downright nasty. That's not what I will be advocating or supporting with my children.

Does this mean I will freak out if/when DD says a curse word? Absolutely not. But I plan to teach that such words are unacceptable, and as "educated" individuals, we can find better words to use to express our thoughts.

Re: What's your philosophy on "bad words"?

Growing up I don't remember my mother ever uttering a single word tha could be considered a curse/swear word. Today, however, my mother regularly curses at the TV.

When I'm with friends and there are no kids around I pay absolutely no attention to the language I use.

In court, you will never ever ever hear me use foul language (and generally I don't in the office either, but sometimes I get so angry I can't help myself).

At home I'm constantly telling DH to watch his mouth around the baby.